Speed Dating

[Mr.Prez]

This is more of a rant than anything.

I went speed dating a few weeks ago, I checked off all the girls as "yes" on my card, not one girl say "yes" to seeing me again. It was like getting rejected 10 times.

I know I'm not the most attractive person out there, but I spend like $1000/year on clothes, I work out at the gym twice a day, and I have a job as an Engineer.

I know that the 10 girls there do not reflect the 3 Billion girls out there in the world, but it was such a depressing feeling . I think I'm over it now, but I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to find that other half. Yay for video games and my cello lol

 

[Mrblushy]

This is more of a rant than anything.

I went speed dating a few weeks ago, I checked off all the girls as "yes" on my card, not one girl say "yes" to seeing me again. It was like getting rejected 10 times.

I know I'm not the most attractive person out there, but I spend like $1000/year on clothes, I work out at the gym twice a day, and I have a job as an Engineer.

I know that the 10 girls there do not reflect the 3 Billion girls out there in the world, but it was such a depressing feeling . I think I'm over it now, but I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to find that other half. Yay for video games and my cello lol

Have you ever thought about getting to know girls from engineering post grad schools? I say this because I've yet to meet a girl who would have a similar background to yourself and actually attend something like a speed date. I think it's also difficult to comment anything useful without extra informational e.g. did you find the girls a bit empty in the top department? what did you talk about whilst there? Did you make any of them laugh? etc.

 

[Mrblushy]

FIRST, stop trying to make it big. If a girl can't like you for you than they don't need you.

SECOND: Spending all that money on just to show off will only show a girl you may have lots of money, and that may lead to gold diggin'

Maybe you should try a girl who has a good heart and not good looks, because what they do for you is what'll count. Looks go dead after a few years.

Sadly good looking women tend to have great genes and not only look great until they're 90 they also tend to keep most of their hair, have a lovely and easy life and outlive most and end up shockingly wealthy too.

 

[Mr.Prez]

As I'm not in school anymore and don't have any engineering friends at all, I don't know how I'd go about meeting anyone in a post grad school.

They were mostly teachers and nurses, so for sure they were smart and had university/college degrees. We talked about almost everything like interests, likes, dislikes, our jobs, there's only so much you can talk about in 8 minutes tho. I made almost all of them laugh at one point or another; however, my humor is either sarcastic or self deprecating, so I'd tell a story about how I did something embarassing.

 

[Kiwong]

My vision of speed dating is one of hell. Let me get the hell out of there. It took a lot of courage to put yourself through that.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Just thought I'd say-- speed dating is rough.
I'm shocked by people who can manage to do it on a regular basis and still feel good about themselves.
It's 90% about first impressions and if you're not their 'type' looks wise - some people will turn off their ears and just act like they're listening until you switch seats.

That's just from what I've observed.

Also... I think 50% of the people who go aren't even looking for a date; they're just there for moral support for a friend.
I've gone twice - both times while I had a boyfriend and wasn't looking for a date; purely there as moral support, but you can't just sit around... they make you sign up to fill seats. haha

 

[Mr.Prez]

What's it like? I'm curious to try my dumb luck.

PoF and OkCupid hasn't worked for me.

Oddly I'm told I look good in real life but the fact I can't talk to them makes me mad. The irony ..

you're lucky... I've been told I'm ugly.

The process is this. You're in a bar and there's ~10 guys, ~10 girls, and ~10 tables. One girl sits at each table and doesn't move the entire time. One guy sits at each table and has to move to the next table every 8 minutes. Every guy and girl has a card where they write down each date's name and whether they are a "yes" or a "no". If you picked "yes" for someone who picked "yes" for you as well, you get to know their e-mail address when you get home or the next morning.

 

[Mr.Prez]

if speed dating is not the way to go, what is?

 

[Mr.Prez]

Is this online?

Nope, real life.

 

[Mr.Prez]

I'm going again tonight... wish me luck

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

You are very brave to do speed dating! Sounds brutal. I don't think I would ever ever be able to do something like that. Good luck to you; let us know how it goes!

 

[recluse]

I'd never in a million years go to such a degrading event as speed dating, it's just so ridiculous in my opinion and i can imagine it's a killer for your self esteem when you don't get any ''yes'' responses. I'm hypersensitive to rejection and criticism so i wouldn't want my already low self esteem to sink any lower.

You seem to be quite a catch as you have a good career which is more than my loser self has, and you're not bad looking form your pic.

 

[KiaKaha]

You seem to have quite a lot going for you. Educated, healthy, talented, well spoken - friendly and you arent that bad looking either.

You seem like a catch to me (if I were female I mean ) It usually takes only a few moments whether or not someone is going to be interested in you and being in a speed dating environment is only going to exaggerate that fact.

Good on you for giving it a go. I know The rejection sucks.... people misjudge other people all the time... so dont get dejected. I feel that someone out there eventually is going to see how much you have to offer and will be very happy with you when they realize that.

 

[EvilFlyingCow]

Hmm... Speed dating. I've never tried it. Seems kinda fun actually. If anything, it sounds like good practice for interacting with people. I think you should go with the attitude that you're not really expecting any results, but instead view it as practice with interacting with women. This way, even if you come home without a date, you will have had the experience of social interaction, which can lead to better results in the long run.

 

[EvilFlyingCow]

Oh, and go with the mindset that you are a picky man. Instead of trying to appeal to the women, ask them questions about themselves that you are truly interested in. Instead of allowing them to put you on the spot, put them on the spot. Ask questions that make them feel like they need to impress you instead of vice-versa.

 

[OceanMist]

I cant find speed dating in my city. It seems it's only in big cities in the USA?

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Eep! Why do you spend so much money on clothes?

 

[Mr.Prez]

Again, no dice. Not one girl checked "yes" to my name. I wonder what the problem with me is

 

[schist]

Dating is all circumstance.

 

[Kinetik]

Speed dating is a forced, unnatural experience. I don't believe in dating methods that are too structured. I think that accidental and spontaneous chemistry is the way to go. You're doing well in the sense that you're accomplished and you're out there doing your thing - you go to the gym, do zumba, have a good job. Because of that, I'd go so far as to say that all you need to do is let go and trust the universe. If you stay connected to the world in the way you are now and keep a positive mindset, opportunities will come your way. Just keep your eyes open - sometimes they're in the most unexpected places.

By the way, don't feel bad about your run of two times zero. To put it in perspective, I've sold products online for years and if I can sell to 1% of people who view my stuff then it's considered a success. That's for tangible, everyday goods - people are going to be a lot more picky when it comes to a partner. Apples and oranges maybe, but there you go.