So, the cutest guy in class sat next to me today...

Dark angel

Dark angel

Well-known member
I was in my statistics class today(which I hate with a burning passion) and this guy who I consider to be the cutest one in the classroom sat next to me today. He usually sits in the front but because the computer where he sits didn't work, he had to move to the back of the room and decided to sit next to me. I started feeling a little bit uneasy. I don't know what it is about attractive people but when I'm around them my behavior changes completely. All of the sudden he started talking to me which I found pretty shocking because I'm not used to have people like him starting a conversation out of nowhere with me. We were talking about the exam we have for tomorrow and how stressed he was because he had a calculus exam today too. I told him to keep calm and that everything would be all right but as the conversation kept going I could notice myself behaving like a robot. Very unsure of what to say, or if I should or should not look his way.

Also, for Friday we have to hand in a portfolio with all the stuff we've done so far in the class and he was worried because he has two exams that day and he was a little bit behind schedule with the computer work we have done in statistics due to the fact that well, he sat in the same damage computer for the whole summer period. I offer myself to send him the things we've done so far and he was very appreciative. Eventually, he gave me his email so that I could send him all the stuff from the class that his being missing and once again was very grateful that I would help him. And here is the thing, he also gave me his phone number and told me that I shouldn't hesitate to call him if I wanted a study partner for the next two exams we have this week. He told me that we could study today after he finish with his calculus exam if I wanted to. Then the real nerves kicked in because this guy is quite intelligent himself, he's gotten pretty good grades so far, and well, I feel mediocre when it comes to my intelligence. I feel slow and kinda dumb. We didn't study today because I had to leave but made the decision to invite him(though a text msg) tomorrow after class to complete the take home test. He hasn't answered yet but still, I don't know if it is the proper thing to do because I'm not very conversative or interesting and definitely not that smart. What if tomorrow we decide to study together and make a fool out myself ::(: It is not like is just gonna be the two of us because I have other girls who also want to study as well, but still...
... And also, why do I care so much about the others percption about him and not just him... others in general?
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
You care about what he thinks because you like him and, therefore, want him to accept you. The same reason (kinda) applies as to why you care about others' opinion of you: you want them to like you.

Now, don't overthink things things too much. Your head is creating far too many bad "what if" scenarios. Take a breather, listen to some music or whatever calms you down. Each person can think of themselves as boring because we've lived through the same events and things for our entire lives and it's kinda lost its luster. You are someone new to him (I believe) and you're interesting because you're new. You are more interesting than you believe:).

Talk about your interests with him and, if you run out of things to say, then switch the focus of the conversation to him. Learn about him and his interests. You could also talk about your Statistics class as well (which, well, considering this is a "study date", you'll be doing anyway::p:). If you honestly want to, you could even mention to him that it's kinda hard for you to be social. Maybe he'll help try to bring you at ease.

Stay calm Dark angel. You'll be just fine:).
 
psych

psych

Well-known member
When you look at him, try to remember that he also has insecurities and deficiencies of his own, ones that don't involve physical beauty.
He is probably just as insecure as you feel when around him. If he isn't at all, he's likely a user, or possibly mentally disturbed...

Try to treat him like you would any friend, be yourself, & it'll go well. :)
 
Dark angel

Dark angel

Well-known member
w*n*c*a*m said:
lol you have a crush on him! eeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Click to expand...

hahahahaha!! No seriously, this is how I behave everytime a person that is good looking talks to me. Although I do find him very attractive, is not like i'm in love or anything 'cause I barely know him. :)But I hate the fact that my whole posture and personality changes to the point I feel like a statue. Also, isn't it super weird that I'm an adult and stll behave this way? (I'm 25) In my defense I've never being in a relationship before and rarely get noticed by anyone. Most of the time I feel invisible and rarely get noticed by anyone, so when someone talks to me is like all of the sudden that bubble burst for an instant second and it is a totally different and weird feeling...
 
Dark angel

Dark angel

Well-known member
DeadmanWalking said:
You care about what he thinks because you like him and, therefore, want him to accept you. The same reason (kinda) applies as to why you care about others' opinion of you: you want them to like you.

Now, don't overthink things things too much. Your head is creating far too many bad "what if" scenarios. Take a breather, listen to some music or whatever calms you down. Each person can think of themselves as boring because we've lived through the same events and things for our entire lives and it's kinda lost its luster. You are someone new to him (I believe) and you're interesting because you're new. You are more interesting than you believe:).

Talk about your interests with him and, if you run out of things to say, then switch the focus of the conversation to him. Learn about him and his interests. You could also talk about your Statistics class as well (which, well, considering this is a "study date", you'll be doing anyway::p:). If you honestly want to, you could even mention to him that it's kinda hard for you to be social. Maybe he'll help try to bring you at ease.

Stay calm Dark angel. You'll be just fine:).
Click to expand...


Thanks for this advice. I do tend to overthink things too much, which is what most of the time affects me. And yes, I tend to also create a lot of bad scenarios, guess is the paranoia in me talking. Something that I definitely need to change but is part of all this SA thing going.
 
F

Foxface

Well-known member
It's rare that I had a cute girl site next to me. A couple of times was when it was the beginning of th school yar, and got mixd up on my classes. I was in the wrong class, or she was. Interesting, how things always work out like that, for the worst becuase of my curse.

It makes me uneasy whn I encounter a hot girl, sometimes even take a heart attack (seriously). I get them so often, that it's not a big deal, I don't die from them, and if I goto the hospital for each one, that would cuase a mystery for the doctors.

A few times, I almost had to be hospitalized. The docotrs checked my heart and said there is too much strain on my heart. I went for years with a lot of stress becuase of social anxiety. Social Anxiety cuases insecurities. Insecurities cuases negtive thoughts for me. Girls cause insecurities for me, and social anxiiety plus having Autism (Asperger's Syndrome).

Girls is one of my worst weakness. I think it's becuase I wish I could be with them, or be them. I so envy them, becuase of how lucky they are and they don't even know it. They take it for granted it throw it away like it's nothing.

Last November or December, I remember seeing a girl and having one of the worst heart attacks. I near Tantallon, on the Hammonds Plains Road. There is an intersecttion that goes to a plaza. Anyway, we were in two seprate lanes. beside cars. She was going into the plaza and I was on my way home. I kept looking over at her, and she didn't see me. I remember I felt sick, weak and stuff. I had a shooting pain in my heart and arms got numb. I thought I was a goner.

I manage to get all the way home. I end up crying when I got home. It took an hour for me to recover. It was an awful feeling. She was really attractive. I rememebr thinking that I'll never be with anyone like that, or anyone. The stress of thinking about it, with all these other negitive thoughts, bottled up inside is probably what cuased my heart attack. I remember thinking, one looki, she'll judge me as something bad. I don't know the word. WHy would a good looking girl want or find anything good about the liks of me?

That was one of the worst heart attacks I ever had.
 
MrSunday

MrSunday

Well-known member
Darling, darling, oh darling, sit down on this chair *makes you sit* while I explain to you the nature of a human being with a ding dong.

He either likes you or just wants to be friends or just sees you as a normal classmate.

A sexy elephant sat next to me during my accounting lesson. The size of his trunk was so delicious...it turns out he only wanted to eat my nachos. >_>
 
F

Foxface

Well-known member
I'd rather a cute guy than a cute girl. Guys don't judge me like girls, and if they do, it dosen't bother me that much.
 
MrSunday

MrSunday

Well-known member
^ I know...many girls are so judgemental and hypocritical when it comes to appearances. Some wear slutty clothes to gain attention and then complain when guys drool at them. They like criticisng how other people look but hate it when others do the same to them.

Worthless disposable pathetic useless thrash that only exist in this world to serve the sexual needs of vile men. >_>

It's official I hate humans. I rather be a mouse or a cockatiel.
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
MrSunday said:
^ I know...many girls are so judgemental and hypocritical when it comes to appearances. Some wear slutty clothes to gain attention and then complain when guys drool at them. They like criticisng how other people look but hate it when others do the same to them.

Worthless disposable pathetic useless thrash that only exist in this world to serve the sexual needs of vile men. >_>

It's official I hate humans. I rather be a mouse or a cockatiel.
Click to expand...

A fellow misanthropist? Our numbers grow.
 
D

dyingtolive

Well-known member
its a tricky sitatuion. i feel the same with attractive peeople. whats tough is when they catch on that you feel uncomfortable because of their attractiveness, it can bring out the manipulative and dominating player side of them

but its a good exercise to get better with attractive people. good luck. just dont drool too much or make sure you bring tissue
 
hardy

hardy

Well-known member
I had this talk with a good (intelligent)friend yesterday about how i think a lot about what others think about me. His suggestion was just forget these thoughts about what others think...and keep doing your more important stuff.This caring about what they think will take us no where.

I think no one cares about you or me.If you notice the conversation with ur 'crush'....all he was doing was talking about himself....wasn't he? Even mothers are selfish when they are attending on their kids, i think.What i mean is you don't have to give importance to how they feel. Just be yourself.

If you feel anxious, feel anxious(live with it)....don't have to wonder what your friend is thinking. And even if you are very self-conscious, just be aware and not do anything about it.see if this feeling is permanent...and be dumb if you feel dumb and don't care that others are watching this. Again if you think they are judging you....don't give importance to them, keep doing your stuff. When you are too tired...relax and begin again. (Doing some random acts of kindness might help bringing some happiness to people like us)



Just let these things be.
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
Yes, insist that he studies with you naked to put you more at ease...

He probably just wanted an excuse to spend time with you outside of class
 
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