SA and bullying

[lilmutegirl]

There may be a thread along these lines already, but after reading most of the posts on here, I'm curious about the relationship between SA and bullying. Do you feel that you have SA (or that it was worsened) because you were bullied, or do you think you were bullied because you have SA?
For me, while I was not bullied a lot, I feel like when I was, it was because I was seen as an easy target because I was so quiet and would not stand up for myself. I have also been in two abusive relationships and think the same applies there as well.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I am agoraphobic and have extreme social anxiety and phobia because of bullying and physical/verbal/mental abuse.

As a small child, I was very outgoing and cheerful.
After being beat down for years and being called stupid, ugly, poor, etc... my confidence went down to zero and I'm terrified of people.


** poll added**

 

[Kiwong]

Bullying was one thing that contributed to my anxiety.

 

[Boby]

Voted note sure.I had been bullied many times but i usually stand up for myself and bullies learned to respect me ...the hard way sometimes lol.Sometimes there words hurt me inside but i don't think it was a major cause of my SA.

@WeirdyMcGee your story made me really sad...and angry towards your bullies

 

[Statsu]

Bullying has nothing to do with my SA, as a matter of fact I've never been bullied. Mine stems mainly from irrational fears, a desire to be perfect, and social hesitation.

 

[Roman Legion]

I am agoraphobic and have extreme social anxiety and phobia because of bullying and physical/verbal/mental abuse.

As a small child, I was very outgoing and cheerful.
After being beat down for years and being called stupid, ugly, poor, etc... my confidence went down to zero and I'm terrified of people.


** poll added**

I know bullying was a major factor in my issues, and I had to put up with the same people whose only goal in their young (and adult) life is to bring you down.. Physical, mental, verbal.. I had all of that, some was against me was purely racial, being one of the very few white people in Prince Georges County, Maryland public school system.. Also when I was in the Fairfax County, Virginia public school system.. I had quite a bit in Nebraska, but it didn't get bad until we moved back to Virginia from Nebraska.. I remember running from the school bus in the Mount Vernon area of Alexandria, Virginia to our apartment because I was being chased like Indiana Jones running from the natives to the plane.. I had an entire group chasing me.. I remember one time in the playground at the apartments, some kids surrounded me and threw sand and small rocks at me.. Blinded, I somehow made it back home and the sand took forever to get out of my eyes and hair.. The stole my Star Wars Y-wing toy I was playing with because I dropped it when the sand hit my eyes and the first rock hit my head. That same day, the police came to our apartment as apparently that group broke a store window with a big rock and they all told the cops I did it. The songs they sang to make fun of me in Maryland.. We were and still are quite poor, hence we had to leave Alexandria for Accokeek, Maryland and we had this shoddy house that was very messed up and we couldn't get the stuff fixed.. My parents tried to seek help from the state, but all they did was condemn our home and call social services on them.. I remember being picked up in the middle of class one day by them.. The kids used the song Shake ya ass by Mystikal and changed the words to "Take a bath, wash yourself, take a bath, show me what your washing with.." My brothers being in a way higher grade were at another school and on another bus, so I was alone the entire day. When we moved back into Virginia to the Southwestern part of the state, I had long hair and was made fun of for being a "Yankee" (Despite being a citizen of another country, I never spoke, so I guess they just went off of what the teacher told them upon her introducing me to the class) and a hippie (Due to moving down from Maryland and having long hair) I also was frequently called stupid and gay. I remember this other kid that was bullied in middle school, we both decided to skip school as they were going to beat the crap out of us, so we did and got away with skipping school.. The second time the bullies told on us and we got caught by the police for skipping school and returned.. We both got screamed at by our parents, I got a belting when I got home and the next day they kept calling us both gay for eachother and continued the beatings. I remember one time I was being hit by a small group and blacked out for a few minutes when one of them kicked me in the face on the bus.. Another was when I was sitting with headphones on reading and got punched in the face out of nowhere as the kid got off the bus. If you want more, I have a nearly eidetic memory of these events and there are a lot more..

 

[Kat]

I have been to both private and public school and the private school kids who probably weren’t so bad off money wise is where I experienced my worst bullying. Not that money is a reflection of how good or bad our life would be my dad sometimes says he was happier when he was poor but it can influence how you feel about the world and potentially how you treat others.

I don’t think my sa was a result of incidents that happened I have always been a bit anxious from a young age I haven’t always been anti social though and anxiety disorders do run in my family.

 

[Iluv]

I don't blame them for picking on me. I am an easy target, practically a sitting duck in most cases. I won't fight back if they hit me, I won't say anything back because I am too scared to speak up and I wouldn't tell anybody because I have nobody to tell.
But, it's okay, I'm used to being a verbal punching bag.

 

[Kat]

I don't blame them for picking on me. I am an easy target, practically a sitting duck in most cases. I won't fight back if they hit me, I won't say anything back because I am too scared to speak up and I wouldn't tell anybody because I have nobody to tell.
But, it's okay, I'm used to being a verbal punching bag.

They are to blame, and it is not okay. It's hard to speak up I didn't but many times I wish I did and probably should have. I don't think many people know how to deal with it when it happens. I think a lot of people can sympathize with the bully and don't go very harsh on them especially if it's happening to you when you are young, that's partly why I would never say anything thing they would bully me and they get a slap on the wrist hardly seems fair.
But don't just accept it you deserve better. I think everyone deserves to fight for their right or leave a bad situation they are in if they can for the sake of their own well being.

 

[silveraks13]

Bullying has nothing to do with my SA, as a matter of fact I've never been bullied. Mine stems mainly from irrational fears, a desire to be perfect, and social hesitation.

I can relate to this completely! Especially the desire to be perfect. Add in a little need for approval and to be liked = my SA.

 

[this_portrait]

Teasing and bullying probably contributed to it, but there are certainly way more factors than just that.

 

[hidwell]

Like many many people my SA was genetically inherited and as a child I picked up more SA behaviour from my father.

 

[Srijita52]

I had SA before being bullied as I was always quiet, ugly and didn't know how to stand up for myself and there were other reasons too. I don't know if it worsened my problem but I think it made me somewhat stronger.

 

[O'Killian]

The poll is missing a 'Was not bullied / did not affect me' option. Sure, there's "not sure" but I'm pretty sure bullying has had very little to do with my development at all.

I can only recall a single instance of being well-and-truly bullied, and that was way back in fourth grade (~9 years old). I took a test and was put into the Gifted & Talented program. These kids had been together since kindergarten and had very little interaction with the rest of the school outside their class. I was pretty relentlessly teased, mocked, and insulted (the worst of this coming from the girls, for some reason). The fact that the teacher was new and had only worked with with kindergartners before didn't help. She had no idea how to control a bunch of unruly, frankly bratty 4th graders.

It all came to a head when my friends (accrued through my years in the other grades) had had enough and started chasing them around the playground at recess, pulled hair, other 4th grader stuff. I almost got in trouble for this because it had been assumed it was my idea, but I honestly had no idea it was happening until it happened. Things got a little better after that, heh.

If anything that experience helped me in the end. My friends came through for me and I learned how to cope with people being rude and nasty to me, which thankfully isn't a skill I've had to use much.

My SA is more a sort of neglect and avoidance - I never had much problem being alone, and in fact enjoyed that I could use that time to decompress. Eventually this got out of hand, I never let anybody get close, and... Yeah.

 

[Feliscatus]

I had SA since i was born, bullying probably amplified it but certainly did not cause it.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I was weird looking, people talked about it. I think that's. considered verbal abuse. I was also molested as a child

 

[HappySquidward]

I've always had SA, and though I have been bullied a few times I don't think it made my SA any worst. However, my SA kept me back form doing any thing. The bullies at my school never really got up close, but instead usually just say things and throw stuff. The last time I got bullied was in my freshman year in highschool on two seperate occasions by girls. once was at lunch were i was "airhumped", and another during class when a girl kept calling me out of my name. being a guy I really didn't know how to deal with female bullies

 

[bleach]

Poll threads on this forum need to be more scientific, there should be a negative option for every one ie. "I was not bullied" for this one.

 

[laure15]

I am agoraphobic and have extreme social anxiety and phobia because of bullying and physical/verbal/mental abuse.

As a small child, I was very outgoing and cheerful.
After being beat down for years and being called stupid, ugly, poor, etc... my confidence went down to zero and I'm terrified of people.


** poll added**

@WeirdyMcGee: I went through similar experiences too. I used to be more outgoing when I was a kid but now I'm scared of people. We have much in common.

@Roman Legion: That's brutal, at school I usually experience mental, social and psychological bullyings, not really physical. I was almost always the social outcast.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I was never truly a go out and meet people type person, but I grew more of an avoidant type person because people picked on me because of my weight, then I got depressed and my grades dropped causing people to think I was stupid, which made it worse and caused me to get more depressed a do worse and avoide people more, eventually I become a misanthrope of a monumentally staggering degree.

And wow that was a massive run on sentence.