Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[Phoenixx]

Had one hell of a second week of work. Worked 6 days. I'm freaking exhausted and sore. Next week is going to be a bitch too. All because someone can't keep track of numbers thus screwing up production schedules and making more work for everyone else.

Oh and covid hit one of the departments. So I need to watch for that too.

 

[Miserum]

Had one hell of a second week of work. Worked 6 days. I'm freaking exhausted and sore. Next week is going to be a bitch too. All because someone can't keep track of numbers thus screwing up production schedules and making more work for everyone else.

Oh and covid hit one of the departments. So I need to watch for that too.

I think you'll be able to build physical endurance for the job as the weeks go by.

 

[Miserum]

I have a confession. I like wearing masks in public. No one can see how paranoid I look because they can't see my frown.

Or maybe looking like a ninja just makes me feel good. Dunno which.

 

[Phoenixx]

I think you'll be able to build physical endurance for the job as the weeks go by.

Oh I believe I will. I'm just definitely feeling it after not doing this kind of work in a year and a half, and also taking advantage of being lazy during quarantine/unemployment. My back is so tight. Oof!

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Insomnia's wrecking my sleep routine again.

 

[Phoenixx]

Sadness keeps gripping me this month. It keeps coming and going. It's like I can't win. I wanted a job forever, finally got a job, and still feel sad. I think it's because I'm not feeling any sort of emotional connections to any of my coworkers. I never really realized how much I yearn for connections until recently. Even though I struggle with shyness and social anxiety, I still wish to establish emotional connections with people. I don't feel the need to be friends with everyone, but I do feel the need to have some inkling of trust and comfort around the people I work with. I haven't totally gotten that at work yet. I know it's not going to be immediate. But overall I think I'm just scared that it won't happen. That I won't ever establish any of those feelings or connections, like what happened at my last job. Barely formed a connection with one coworker, and the deep connection I had with my boss was horribly severed and burned. So yeah. I want to open up but can't seem to find a way to. Not to mention my coworkers still seem somewhat awkward around me.

I can't help but still think of my previous job prior, back when I lived in the city. I had my gripes and my pissed off days, but overall I networked with so many people. I actually made friends, people I hung out with outside of work, and I still talk to them. I miss walking in a room and people smiling at me and telling me Good Morning, even though we all knew what a hell of a day we were gonna have. I miss having people I trust do their jobs with me and back me up without question, or get on anything that I asked them to. Social anxiety didn't exist there. I talked freely and rarely felt nervous with anyone. I worked really hard to earn the respect of those people and it paid off. I miss having that reputation so much it actually hurts. I want that reputation back, but I don't know how to do that with this new job.

 

[Miserum]

I worked really hard to earn the respect of those people and it paid off. I miss having that reputation so much it actually hurts. I want that reputation back, but I don't know how to do that with this new job.

To get that rep back, you need to find the biggest, baddest looking dude there, and then beat the absolute doodoo out of him.

At least that's how they do it in prison, so I've heard. Prison is like real life, right?

 

[Miserum]

I'm feeling pretty annoyed by some people right now. But it's okay.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I have a confession. I like wearing masks in public. No one can see how paranoid I look because they can't see my frown.

Or maybe looking like a ninja just makes me feel good. Dunno which.

It's pretty efficient to cover my resting b*tch face as well

 

[vj288]

Going out is bittersweet as even when I have a good time and enjoy myself, the next day I'll usually ruminate whenever I think back to whatever I said or did, and seemingly only focusing on the moments I'm bothered by. This seems to be exacerbated when I drink as well.

It's not that drinking creates more cringe-worthy moments but that the next day I feel like I have a mental hangover of sorts. I know alcohol is a depressant, so it's probably that. I just struggle a lot more with dealing with my post-event anxiety when I do. I'm much more critical of myself and I feel more defeated and hopeless about things being different in the future.

I'm debating whether it's worth doing at all anymore, the drinking that is. I feel in moderation it doesn't have much negative effect at all, like a couple drinks at night every once and a while watching a movie at home with the girlfriend. If I really wanted to live without that though, it wouldn't effect my life much one way or another though. The difficulty is I have a few people in my life who could probably be handed a diagnosis of alcoholism, and while I don't feel forced to drink around them, when I don't I see something go out in their eyes.

I think maybe if I get better at having a few polite drinks I stretch out and then stopping it'll be ok. I just need to stop doing things that actively sabotage my well being which I struggle to keep up without any added obstacles.

 

[Miserum]

Going out is bittersweet as even when I have a good time and enjoy myself, the next day I'll usually ruminate whenever I think back to whatever I said or did, and seemingly only focusing on the moments I'm bothered by. This seems to be exacerbated when I drink as well.

It's not that drinking creates more cringe-worthy moments but that the next day I feel like I have a mental hangover of sorts. I know alcohol is a depressant, so it's probably that. I just struggle a lot more with dealing with my post-event anxiety when I do. I'm much more critical of myself and I feel more defeated and hopeless about things being different in the future.

I'm debating whether it's worth doing at all anymore, the drinking that is. I feel in moderation it doesn't have much negative effect at all, like a couple drinks at night every once and a while watching a movie at home with the girlfriend. If I really wanted to live without that though, it wouldn't effect my life much one way or another though. The difficulty is I have a few people in my life who could probably be handed a diagnosis of alcoholism, and while I don't feel forced to drink around them, when I don't I see something go out in their eyes.

I think maybe if I get better at having a few polite drinks I stretch out and then stopping it'll be ok. I just need to stop doing things that actively sabotage my well being which I struggle to keep up without any added obstacles.

I've really cut the drinking down too. It's really once in a blue moon (though it's not usually Blue Moon).

As for your family members being weird about your not drinking, that's their problem.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Going out is bittersweet as even when I have a good time and enjoy myself, the next day I'll usually ruminate whenever I think back to whatever I said or did, and seemingly only focusing on the moments I'm bothered by. This seems to be exacerbated when I drink as well.

It's not that drinking creates more cringe-worthy moments but that the next day I feel like I have a mental hangover of sorts. I know alcohol is a depressant, so it's probably that. I just struggle a lot more with dealing with my post-event anxiety when I do. I'm much more critical of myself and I feel more defeated and hopeless about things being different in the future.

That's basically why I stopped drinking. It was too obvious that I was systematically more depressed the next day.

I'm debating whether it's worth doing at all anymore, the drinking that is. I feel in moderation it doesn't have much negative effect at all, like a couple drinks at night every once and a while watching a movie at home with the girlfriend. If I really wanted to live without that though, it wouldn't effect my life much one way or another though. The difficulty is I have a few people in my life who could probably be handed a diagnosis of alcoholism, and while I don't feel forced to drink around them, when I don't I see something go out in their eyes.

I think maybe if I get better at having a few polite drinks I stretch out and then stopping it'll be ok. I just need to stop doing things that actively sabotage my well being which I struggle to keep up without any added obstacles.

It's true that it's not really socially acceptable not to drink. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers as well (because how else am I supposed to make friends than getting drunk in a bar?) but if you fully assume your sobriety, people end up accepting it and they stop being bothered by it. Those who doesn't should deal with their own issues.

To help making people less confused and more comfortable with me not drinking, I usually drink non-alcoholic beverage like non alcoholic cider, which is usually available in bars nowadays (where I live anyway), and I go in bars with another purpose than drinking, like to listen to a band, for example.

Not that going in bars is that essential anyway. It never beats being alone on the top of a mountain at sunrise while everyone down there is trying to survive their hangover.

 

[Phoenixx]

To get that rep back, you need to find the biggest, baddest looking dude there, and then beat the absolute doodoo out of him.

At least that's how they do it in prison, so I've heard. Prison is like real life, right?

Typically I would be all for that, except I mainly work alongside (and supervise) those with developmental disabilities. My two other coworkers that are also supervisors are women. It's just 3 of us managing a whole (small) production facility and supervising a handful of others. It's a lot of work and forming those connections would definitely make my job a lot easier and where I won't feel so out of place.

I supervised entirely by myself for the first time today. I think I did well. Still felt awkward though.

 

[Miserum]

Typically I would be all for that, except I mainly work alongside (and supervise) those with developmental disabilities. My two other coworkers that are also supervisors are women. It's just 3 of us managing a whole (small) production facility and supervising a handful of others. It's a lot of work and forming those connections would definitely make my job a lot easier and where I won't feel so out of place.

I supervised entirely by myself for the first time today. I think I did well. Still felt awkward though.

Keep at it. I believe you'll get into the groove soon enough.

 

[vj288]

I've really cut the drinking down too. It's really once in a blue moon (though it's not usually Blue Moon).

As for your family members being weird about your not drinking, that's their problem.

That's basically why I stopped drinking. It was too obvious that I was systematically more depressed the next day.



It's true that it's not really socially acceptable not to drink. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers as well (because how else am I supposed to make friends than getting drunk in a bar?) but if you fully assume your sobriety, people end up accepting it and they stop being bothered by it. Those who doesn't should deal with their own issues.

To help making people less confused and more comfortable with me not drinking, I usually drink non-alcoholic beverage like non alcoholic cider, which is usually available in bars nowadays (where I live anyway), and I go in bars with another purpose than drinking, like to listen to a band, for example.

Not that going in bars is that essential anyway. It never beats being alone on the top of a mountain at sunrise while everyone down there is trying to survive their hangover.

Thanks for the replies, it's good to know I'm not the only one as part of me thought it was all in my head and the alcohol had nothing to do with it. I don't drink all that often to being with, so cutting back even more or stopping altogether in the situations I do hopefully won't be too challenging. My friends and family are all pretty understanding and sympathetic people so I'm not too worried about their reaction, especially if I confide the reason why which is pretty understandable.

It has been perfect hiking weather around here lately, perhaps I will have to take advantage soon and find myself at the top of a mountain.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Michael C. Hall Returning As Dexter

 

[theoutsider]

I have a confession. I like wearing masks in public. No one can see how paranoid I look because they can't see my frown.

Or maybe looking like a ninja just makes me feel good. Dunno which.

I have a habit of thinking of something funny and smiling to myself. Sometimes, I get caught and I feel like a weirdo but not since I've been having to wear a mask! Nobody can tell I'm smiling.

 

[Miserum]

I have a habit of thinking of something funny and smiling to myself. Sometimes, I get caught and I feel like a weirdo but not since I've been having to wear a mask! Nobody can tell I'm smiling.

Perhaps one day our paths shall cross. The Hidden Frowner vs. the Hidden Smiler, yet neither of us will be the wiser.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

If I go to sleep now, I'll wake up at 10 AM and have to risk seeing my neighbors when I go out to run my errands tomorrow.

If I drink coffee now, I'll be able to run my errands tomorrow before they get up, but my sleep routine will be ruined for days.

Release the Keurig.

 

[SoScared]

Disagree - I think your emotions and facial body language, good & bad, are evident even when wearing a mask