Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
You think so? I am terrible at being able to tell if a guy likes me or not - he has to basically tell me lol. He told me very personal stuff about his family, too. He seems like a friendly person to me. Like, he is a thought oriented introvert, but doesn’t have social anxiety and has friends and stuff. I haven’t seen him talk to other girls, so I can’t compare his behavior with me versus another woman. The only objection I have to this is that he is only 21 or 22 and I turn 28 in January - he may not be interested because I am too old. This is also his last term at our college before he transfers to a university, so he might not be around for much longer, sadly :(
He sounds really sweet. I would go for it Sarah with the idea in mind though that he might be moving soon so you cannot get too attached. Easier said than done, I know...

Don't let the slight age difference stop you imo the chemistry is sounding like it would be great between you two ;)
 
He sounds really sweet. I would go for it Sarah with the idea in mind though that he might be moving soon so you cannot get too attached. Easier said than done, I know...

Don't let the slight age difference stop you imo the chemistry is sounding like it would be great between you two ;)
He said he couldn’t abandon his mom, so I am really hoping that means he’s going to stick around. He is really sweet and I hope something good happens between us and I can muster the courage to ask him out. I’m really scared, though haha.
 
Got roped into going to a work xmas party yesterday. I tried to have a positive frame of mind about it. People where friendly enough, but as usual beyond the polite niceties I struggled to seem at ease and make good conversation like everyone else was doing.
At times I found myself with no one to talk to, my SA started to get worse.. but I remained calm - at least on the outside lol.
I was really glad when it was over.
 
Do you know what? I came to a realization today. An epiphany of sorts. I came to the realization that I actually don't wan't or need to be social in order to 'fit in with society'. I don't need or even WANT to change me, my habits or anything about myself to get better at socializing.

I don't want, or need it.
I now know I'M DONE WITH THAT BS.

I don't want friends that I have to please. If it takes me being 'fake' or pretending to be someone I'm not just to have people to hang out with once in a while.. well, screw that. And screw them.

I was at work today, at times I have a lot of time to think while I work. Today was one of those days. I got to thinking about how I felt at yesterdays xmas work party/bbq and the people that where there, and how I had to 'fake it' just to sort of.. fit in. And how uncomfortable I was doing it.
Then this morning as I was driving to work, I dreamed of living a life where I could just go to work, come home and not have to deal with any.. 'fake'ness'. It was such a powerful feeling, like it was drawing me inwards, calling me.. that feeling.

Then I was at work, thinking of the same thing. I once again thought of the bbq.. the people there. I had a realization.

I DO want friends.
I DO want friends... But I don't wan't 'sheep', or generic fake's who I have to change for. I thought of my friends on SPW. These are the sort of friends I could live comfortably with being around from time to time. Not having to be in each others pockets, but I would happily be there for them, and ideally they would be there for me.

It's funny. I had a job where I was earning good money but wasn't happy and never really knew what was going to make me happy. But now I know.

So... my goal is to keep working towards my ideal employment (if and when I get it I'll definitely let you guys know) and when I get it, I'm going to move into a secluded but nice, house. I'm going to set it up with all the things I want. And.. I'm going to travel. Now, my current employment doesn't allow me to do that. But if I get my goal employment.. I'll be travelling a lot! Which is my passion.

I'd love to meet some of you guys on my travels one day, even if it's just for a coffee.
 
He said he couldn’t abandon his mom, so I am really hoping that means he’s going to stick around. He is really sweet and I hope something good happens between us and I can muster the courage to ask him out. I’m really scared, though haha.
Jump in, feet first Sarah!
You only live life once.. sliding doors and all that.
 
So... my goal is to keep working towards my ideal employment (if and when I get it I'll definitely let you guys know) and when I get it, I'm going to move into a secluded but nice, house. I'm going to set it up with all the things I want. And.. I'm going to travel. Now, my current employment doesn't allow me to do that. But if I get my goal employment.. I'll be travelling a lot! Which is my passion.
Well that sounds like the best plan ever.
 

lily

Well-known member
I don't want friends that I have to please. If it takes me being 'fake' or pretending to be someone I'm not just to have people to hang out with once in a while.. well, screw that. And screw them.
I don't know if it's called faking it for me but i've altered my title or text online just to have it more interesting and i've faked being fun starting a thread. i've seen how other people do it and it then becomes me usually but i'd never go any further than that. just being open back to you.

question-how come you guys have # 1's under your name LOL! now that's funny! but it's ok!! it's just a bit wierd on a forum but at least it's exactly centered! lol
 

lily

Well-known member
I was at work today, at times I have a lot of time to think while I work. Today was one of those days. I got to thinking about how I felt at yesterdays xmas work party/bbq and the people that where there, and how I had to 'fake it' just to sort of.. fit in.
i don't like to write or do things in order to fit in either. i want to write and do things of the REAL me and that's what I'm doing right now.
 
Do you know what? I came to a realization today. An epiphany of sorts. I came to the realization that I actually don't wan't or need to be social in order to 'fit in with society'. I don't need or even WANT to change me, my habits or anything about myself to get better at socializing.

I don't want, or need it.
I now know I'M DONE WITH THAT BS.

I don't want friends that I have to please. If it takes me being 'fake' or pretending to be someone I'm not just to have people to hang out with once in a while.. well, screw that. And screw them.

I was at work today, at times I have a lot of time to think while I work. Today was one of those days. I got to thinking about how I felt at yesterdays xmas work party/bbq and the people that where there, and how I had to 'fake it' just to sort of.. fit in. And how uncomfortable I was doing it.
Then this morning as I was driving to work, I dreamed of living a life where I could just go to work, come home and not have to deal with any.. 'fake'ness'. It was such a powerful feeling, like it was drawing me inwards, calling me.. that feeling.

Then I was at work, thinking of the same thing. I once again thought of the bbq.. the people there. I had a realization.

I DO want friends.
I DO want friends... But I don't wan't 'sheep', or generic fake's who I have to change for. I thought of my friends on SPW. These are the sort of friends I could live comfortably with being around from time to time. Not having to be in each others pockets, but I would happily be there for them, and ideally they would be there for me.

It's funny. I had a job where I was earning good money but wasn't happy and never really knew what was going to make me happy. But now I know.

So... my goal is to keep working towards my ideal employment (if and when I get it I'll definitely let you guys know) and when I get it, I'm going to move into a secluded but nice, house. I'm going to set it up with all the things I want. And.. I'm going to travel. Now, my current employment doesn't allow me to do that. But if I get my goal employment.. I'll be travelling a lot! Which is my passion.

I'd love to meet some of you guys on my travels one day, even if it's just for a coffee.
That's a good attitude to have regarding friends. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells for the people you call friends. On the contrary, it should be people around whom you can feel like you can let your walls down. ..They should also be proper pains in the ass, as any friend is, but not in a way that triggers anxiety.
 

lily

Well-known member
I don't know if it's called faking it for me but i've altered my title or text online just to have it more interesting and i've faked being fun starting a thread. i've seen how other people do it and it then becomes me usually but i'd never go any further than that. just being open back to you.

question-how come you guys have # 1's under your name LOL! now that's funny! but it's ok!! it's just a bit wierd on a forum but at least it's exactly centered! lol
Actually i found that I'm not faking it, i just like my title and text to look nicer and more entertaining so I've done that.
 
question-how come you guys have # 1's under your name LOL! now that's funny! but it's ok!! it's just a bit wierd on a forum but at least it's exactly centered! lol
Remember, before the site upgrade, some of us had quotes or titles written below our avatars on here? The recent software update appears to have gotten rid of those.
 
And now, I’m in a quandary...

The guy I like likes me back, but hasn’t said it officially (I know because he very slyly was writing me a schedule and at the end of tomorrow, penciled in going to the movies together). He is everything I want in terms of intelligence (he is highly intelligent), humor, openness, gentleness, musical taste etc., but I can feel myself pulling away because that’s what I do when people try to get close to me. I am certainly not perfect, not even a little, but I am now unsure about this. He told me yesterday that he’s autistic (VERY high functioning) and doesn’t drive and lacks a lot of experience in terms of relationships. Not to mention, he won’t tell me his age and I have a budding suspicion it’s because I am at least 6-7 years older.

I am at the age where every possible partner needs to come with a potential to be “the one”. I don’t just want to dismiss him for faults that I had at his age, but I feel like I need someone who has already over come it. Tomorrow night isn’t a date, at least not that I know of, but maybe we can be friends. I need a friend. Or maybe I can help him be less inexperienced in some way? I don’t know. Fuck.
 
And now, I’m in a quandary...

The guy I like likes me back, but hasn’t said it officially (I know because he very slyly was writing me a schedule and at the end of tomorrow, penciled in going to the movies together). He is everything I want in terms of intelligence (he is highly intelligent), humor, openness, gentleness, musical taste etc., but I can feel myself pulling away because that’s what I do when people try to get close to me. I am certainly not perfect, not even a little, but I am now unsure about this. He told me yesterday that he’s autistic (VERY high functioning) and doesn’t drive and lacks a lot of experience in terms of relationships. Not to mention, he won’t tell me his age and I have a budding suspicion it’s because I am at least 6-7 years older.

I am at the age where every possible partner needs to come with a potential to be “the one”. I don’t just want to dismiss him for faults that I had at his age, but I feel like I need someone who has already over come it. Tomorrow night isn’t a date, at least not that I know of, but maybe we can be friends. I need a friend. Or maybe I can help him be less inexperienced in some way? I don’t know. Fuck.
I think you need someone who's going to be open and honest from the start. Not telling you his age raises a red flag for me. Not because of his age, more the fact he chooses to not be open about it. Withholding something basic like that from you.
I can't help but need honesty in a relationship.
Just my thoughts.
 
And now, I’m in a quandary...

The guy I like likes me back, but hasn’t said it officially (I know because he very slyly was writing me a schedule and at the end of tomorrow, penciled in going to the movies together). He is everything I want in terms of intelligence (he is highly intelligent), humor, openness, gentleness, musical taste etc., but I can feel myself pulling away because that’s what I do when people try to get close to me. I am certainly not perfect, not even a little, but I am now unsure about this. He told me yesterday that he’s autistic (VERY high functioning) and doesn’t drive and lacks a lot of experience in terms of relationships. Not to mention, he won’t tell me his age and I have a budding suspicion it’s because I am at least 6-7 years older.

I am at the age where every possible partner needs to come with a potential to be “the one”. I don’t just want to dismiss him for faults that I had at his age, but I feel like I need someone who has already over come it. Tomorrow night isn’t a date, at least not that I know of, but maybe we can be friends. I need a friend. Or maybe I can help him be less inexperienced in some way? I don’t know. Fuck.
Sometimes when everything seems too complicated, it's better to let go of the steering wheel and just wait to see what happens
 
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