A few days ago I had a frankly horrible experience that I'm still shaken by. Since August of last year I've been living on my own, it's a lovely (albeit tiny) apartment on the sixth floor, with a disproportionately big balcony that gets sunlight the entire day. I took it so my two cats could be outside and lay in the sun and wind, if and when they wanted, it's entirely closed by nets so they can't get to the birds, or go onto other people's balconies. They've had hard lives and deserve it.
But a few days ago, I heard a loud bang outside and was kinda baffled by it. I figured someone must've dropped something and let it go. So a few minutes later, I go outside to hang my laundry. The second I step outside onto the balcony, the neighbor (who I've been living next to for almost a year) shouts over the divider "You're going to get rid of your cats! This is unacceptable." so I asked him what they did, assuming they did something to his balcony or him without me seeing. But he just repeated it and stormed inside. So he had banged on the divider to scare them in his rage.
Mind you, this is my biggest trigger. Sudden bursts of intense, belittling, anger flung at me in a private supposedly safe places, that plagued me during childhood. So to have it happen here, after almost a year, broke me on a fundamental level. To have it aimed at my cats, the thing I'm most protective off, only made it worse.
It took a lot, but I went to his door to ask him what on Earth was going on. He's been absolutely silent about any problem till now, I had no idea of anything. So he opened the door, and immediately started shouting again, saying really odd stuff. He asked me "what's the point of having them anyway?" followed by multiple harsh words flung into their direction that I won't repeat here. Keeping insisting I get rid of them.. I keep repeating while I sympathize that he's angry, that I won't be getting rid of my cats. They're allowed to be here, they're on my balcony, and nobody is going to dictate what I can and cannot do on in my house, or on my balcony. I pay good rent for that.
This goes on for some time - and it takes a lot of effort to not just walk away. But he lives right next to me, and is gunning for my pets, who are nothing but nice. So I hold my ground, staying polite but repeating they're not leaving.. Eventually he starts calming down, as he's the only one ranting and raving, and invites me in to talk.
Inside he explains to me he's actually allergic to cat hair, and that it's very inflammatory to him. Which checks out becomes on of my cat is a mushroom cloud of shedding right now. We talked for a bit, I made some suggestions and told him I'd try to seal the parts that allow fur to flow onto his balcony. We didn't really come to a verbal agreement, though he seemed ashamed of it. But now I'm afraid it'll happen again, and get EXTREMELY nervous when my cats are out there. I've since patched it with garbage bags temporarily, but I have no idea how well it's working and I'm afraid to ask.
I'm going to stop rambling now - this is long already.
A few days ago I had a frankly horrible experience that I'm still shaken by. Since August of last year I've been living on my own, it's a lovely (albeit tiny) apartment on the sixth floor, with a disproportionately big balcony that gets sunlight the entire day. I took it so my two cats could be outside and lay in the sun and wind, if and when they wanted, it's entirely closed by nets so they can't get to the birds, or go onto other people's balconies. They've had hard lives and deserve it.
But a few days ago, I heard a loud bang outside and was kinda baffled by it. I figured someone must've dropped something and let it go. So a few minutes later, I go outside to hang my laundry. The second I step outside onto the balcony, the neighbor (who I've been living next to for almost a year) shouts over the divider "You're going to get rid of your cats! This is unacceptable." so I asked him what they did, assuming they did something to his balcony or him without me seeing. But he just repeated it and stormed inside. So he had banged on the divider to scare them in his rage.
Mind you, this is my biggest trigger. Sudden bursts of intense, belittling, anger flung at me in a private supposedly safe places, that plagued me during childhood. So to have it happen here, after almost a year, broke me on a fundamental level. To have it aimed at my cats, the thing I'm most protective off, only made it worse.
It took a lot, but I went to his door to ask him what on Earth was going on. He's been absolutely silent about any problem till now, I had no idea of anything. So he opened the door, and immediately started shouting again, saying really odd stuff. He asked me "what's the point of having them anyway?" followed by multiple harsh words flung into their direction that I won't repeat here. Keeping insisting I get rid of them.. I keep repeating while I sympathize that he's angry, that I won't be getting rid of my cats. They're allowed to be here, they're on my balcony, and nobody is going to dictate what I can and cannot do on in my house, or on my balcony. I pay good rent for that.
This goes on for some time - and it takes a lot of effort to not just walk away. But he lives right next to me, and is gunning for my pets, who are nothing but nice. So I hold my ground, staying polite but repeating they're not leaving.. Eventually he starts calming down, as he's the only one ranting and raving, and invites me in to talk.
Inside he explains to me he's actually allergic to cat hair, and that it's very inflammatory to him. Which checks out becomes on of my cat is a mushroom cloud of shedding right now. We talked for a bit, I made some suggestions and told him I'd try to seal the parts that allow fur to flow onto his balcony. We didn't really come to a verbal agreement, though he seemed ashamed of it. But now I'm afraid it'll happen again, and get EXTREMELY nervous when my cats are out there. I've since patched it with garbage bags temporarily, but I have no idea how well it's working and I'm afraid to ask.
I'm going to stop rambling now - this is long already.
What a story!
You love your cats and he's got allergies to them, I am sorry for the combo for you. I am thinking off the top of my head since you articulated your situation so well, and tried your best to make friends with him-
How about you tell him you are feeding them a reduce shedding type diet food now because of him and brushing them as best you can. If you keep him updated with your handling of this on a more regular basis he will less likely feel like he has to "explode with anger" at the sight of any flying cat hair. You unfortunately have to go out of your way to soothe his anger so he will be chill. It's worth it so you can have your furry friends and they can be safe though.
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