Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

The thoughts of a winner probably don't usually begin with the prefix:

"Well, at least I'm not..."

lily said: ↑

i think i have an idea of how things can go for me. hope it goes well :sad:

Can someone cheer me up on this one?

lily said: ↑

Can someone cheer me up on this one?

Good luck lily.

So yeah, a year ago, I was too scared top eat with anyone. A week ago I ate dinner with 20 people around a table, two nights in a row. I proved I can do it. However, I would much rather sit and eat somewhere quiet. For some eating with lots of people would be comforting, but for me it is as scary as hell.

I want a truck again. Right now I has no car and it's maddening!!

I've been doing good, but I can do better. It's up to me how good I want things to get.

By swiveling my laptop a tiny bit, i can stop seeing the dust on the screen & removes a window reflection :thumbup:. And by tilting the screen up some, i get rid of my sun-drenched reflection. :thumbup: And by lifting my head a little bit, i remove the sun's reflections on my glasses!. :thumbup: :bigsmile:

(I'm having) 'spirits in the material world' :thumbup:

MollyBeGood said: ↑

I want a truck again. Right now I has no car and it's maddening!!

I don't have a motorcycle at the moment.. I've been craving one again..

Social Phobia World
"You are Not Alone"

then why do I feel alone 99% of the time I spend here?

F*ck! I really need to get back into a daily routine. But, that’s easier said than done for the likes of me. :oh:

Graeme1988 said: ↑

F*ck! I really need to get back into a daily routine. But, that’s easier said than done for the likes of me. :oh:

I used to be so much better about that stuff. I think for me it's depression that makes it hard to stick to anything. Everything looses it's luster. Then you have to force yourself and I hate doing that with everything/anything.

MollyBeGood said: ↑

I used to be so much better about that stuff. I think for me it's depression that makes it hard to stick to anything. Everything looses it's luster. Then you have to force yourself and I hate doing that with everything/anything.

Oh! I can relate to depression making it more difficult to actually feel like you want to do stuff, and having to force yerself. Lately that’s everything for me. Going out, every time I try open the recording software on my laptop with intent to put down a new song idea... Nuthin’... can’t be arsed! Even more depressing is fact that, this time last year, I was actually happy and content with the wee routine I had going, everyday. :sad:

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Oh! I can relate to depression making it more difficult to actually feel like you want to do stuff, and having to force yerself. Lately that’s everything for me. Going out, every time I try open the recording software on my laptop with intent to put down a new song idea... Nuthin’... can’t be arsed! Even more depressing is fact that, this time last year, I was actually happy and content with the wee routine I had going, everyday. :sad:

It's like I am drugging through mud pulling myself through every step. The little reprieve I get from it lasts about 5 mins usually.

Your looking back and seeing that you did make some progress with a routine but I think from what you say you needed to build on it more, like it was a great start, but you have to move on to the next step maybe?

PugofCrydee said: ↑

I don't have a motorcycle at the moment.. I've been craving one again..

You can have mine - i'm not using it. But it's only a Suzuki 150. I'll probably end up selling it. Had it for 5/so years, but STILL haven't gotten around to getting my licence; it just feels too much hassle (& so does maintaining it, not letting the battery go dead, etc); i just can't be bothered. Motorbikes are a toy really.

MollyBeGood said: ↑

It's like I am drugging through mud pulling myself through every step. The little reprieve I get from it lasts about 5 mins usually.

Your looking back and seeing that you did make some progress with a routine but I think from what you say you needed to build on it more, like it was a great start, but you have to move on to the next step maybe?

Kinda hard build on that progress, when I rarely get much time to myself lately. What with my older sister and her kids constantly visiting, on a seemingly daily basis. Despite me objecting to my mother insisting that they have to visit often. :kickingmyself: And the only reprieve I get is when their 5 hour long visit ends.

As for the next step, for me, that means moving out and getting a place of my own. Which would be great, if, my mother wasn’t being such a manipulative cow about the whole thing, and constantly making it all about her. :thumbdown:

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Kinda hard build on that progress, when I rarely get much time to myself lately. What with my older sister and her kids constantly visiting, on a seemingly daily basis. Despite me objecting to my mother insisting that they have to visit often. :kickingmyself: And the only reprieve I get is when their 5 hour long visit ends.

As for the next step, for me, that means moving out and getting a place of my own. Which would be great, if, my mother wasn’t being such a manipulative cow about the whole thing, and constantly making it all about her. :thumbdown:

lol manipulative cow -sorry that made me laugh

I am thinking your depression is situational like mine? I know if I was in a better situation, one which I had some actual control over the out-come instead of a bunch of morons or a few (one is too many) dictating I'd be so much less depressed. I just want to be in a better situation, one that doesn't insult my very being and intelligence. As it stands my life is at the whims of pple who don't give a flying fuc how I feel. Zero respect for me as a human being.
vacation-what's that? Fun time away? What is fun again? :sad: All I know is anxiety and depression and looking for an escape.

TWO flies, squabbling away. "DOUBLE TROUBLE". They're "WREAKING HAVOC"!; it's bleedin CHAOS right now!. And I don't know who's who! (i have NO IDEA who's fly #1 & who's #2). I'd need to spray-paint one of them a certain color. 🤭

MollyBeGood said: ↑

Social Phobia World
"You are Not Alone"

then why do I feel alone 99% of the time I spend here?

we're not alone in the sense that the people who come here are going through the same thing as well but b/c there are so less here we may feel alone. Sorry you feel that way.. SA/sp also can cause us not to socialize which is another factor to feeling alone but if we interact w/ one another we won't feel alone.

theslowesthand said: ↑

TWO flies, squabbling away. "DOUBLE TROUBLE". They're "WREAKING HAVOC"!; it's bleedin CHAOS right now!. And I don't know who's who! (i have NO IDEA who's fly #1 & who's #2). I'd need to spray-paint one of them a certain color. 🤭

flies like dirtiness and food & drink so be sure you shower and wrap and throw out the garbage.🤭