Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
What would make life worth living? I've been afraid to answer that question for around the last three years in fear that my answer would be that nothing would, and that it's not worth living, and that I'd then take the steps that follow that line of thinking. Today, just now, that question came into my head again, and for the first time since then I feel ready to try to find an answer again.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
OmStNiP.jpg
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
My phone is from the Mesozoic era, so excuse the woeful image quality:

crane.jpg


I was taking one of my late night drives tonight when I saw this poor guy lying on the side of the road. It was only 12 degrees this evening so I think he just froze to death, he didn't have any external injuries.

I picked him up and put him in my backseat, he was literally frozen stiff, he was so rigid that he didn't even seem real. Also he was so light for such a big bird, I guess what they say about their bones being hollow is true.

I drove around with the heat blasting for an hour, hoping maybe it would revive him (I know, but it was worth a shot). When I got home I brought him inside and placed him on two 36-gallon plastic bags and took that picture.

Now he's wrapped in two bags and bagged in another two, one covering his lower half, the other his top. I cut a hole through the top bag and gently worked his head through so he could breathe... just in case (again, I know).

I'm going to let him lay on my bedroom floor until I get up tomorrow and then I'll decide exactly what to do with him. The ground is frozen outside so burying him is out of the question, I might just have to keep him in my outdoor storage room until it gets a little warmer.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I'm getting ads for 'christian mingle'.. apparently a christian dating site.

Like, as if I'd want that lol.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
That little black dog has hit me like a B-double..from outta nowhere.

I was at work last night when it hit. Doing my job, when it felt like a black vortex opened up just below my heart inside me..thoughts of ending it where pretty damn strong.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
On my phone, I will occasionally butt-dial this one person. Now, I have fairly old phone, so honestly I'm not sure how it happens. First, two buttons would need to be pressed in order to unlock my phone (You know, real buttons like the old phones used to have.). Then, as far as I know, the only way to call would be to go under contacts, select their name, and then press a button to dial. And her name is in the middle of the alphabet, so it is not as if the same button is being pressed 7 times in a row to get there. It is just a very bizarre series of button combinations to get to her name, especially more than once.

I thought to myself after the last time "hey, maybe I'll send her a text, apologize for a the annual butt-dial, retell the oddity of my phone doing this, and see how she is." A little afterwards though, I thought my phone number may not be on her phone at all anymore. Like, I think normal people clean out their contact list periodically, and if my name had been removed after all this time, wouldn't that be, awkward? For me, that is. She may feel bad, but I could hardly blame her. I would be here, butt dialing a person I haven't talked to in years, and then sending a text like she wouldn't remove my contact. Wouldn't that be weird?
 
S

Sarah_M

1
Today was a bad day - I don't know if I will ever become comfortable with the social aspect of school. I still have 8 years to go, so let's hope things change by then.

I am nervous about this term - I have to take public speaking to get into my 4 year and during my first speech today, I nearly had a heart attack. I was anxious all night and all morning - I felt faint walking up to the podium; my hands were shaking and my arm pits were sweaty as ****. I can't stand having anxiety - it's ****ing up my life and my potential.

I have math class in about an hour - at least I know that will be a more comfortable environment.

My birthday was yesterday - I saw my crush at the gym (he doesn't even know I exsist) after not seeing him for a while, so happy birthday to me lol. I had a lot of fun last night with my family celebrating. I still can't shake the dark cloud looming overhead reminding me how old I am and that I'll most likely die alone. I feel really ugly and like no one could possibly ever be attracted to me or want me romantically... At least no one who I would actually be interested in, anyway.

I just feel really awful today - not feeling so optimistic about the future :(
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Yesterday, I set a world record rant on my blog. A rant-a-thon. The mother of all rants. I went fo 10 hours, not a wink if sleep
 
AtTheGates

AtTheGates

Banned
industrial hemp is in a perfect position to make a come-back as an agricultural cash crop in the southern states . Kentucky and North Carolina have renewed their hemp growing pilot programs AGAIN this year and they've given even MORE farmers licenses to grow than last year. With legalization of marijuana AND hemp going on up and down the east coast, I really see this as a great potential cash crop with SO many different applications . im not going to say anything about Jeff Sessions but really I think the feds should just loosen their leash on the states and just let them control their own marijuana laws .


Anyway, iv already got a bunch of industrial hemp securities loaded up in the stock market...just hoping they'll explode in the next couple years . Its a risk worth taking.




personally I dont care much for recreational marijuana (im more understanding of medical though) but Industrial Hemp used to be a billion dollar industry in america and theres no reason why it cant be again.

They realized this even back in the 40's
Hemp For Victory (1942) - YouTube
 
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S

Sarah_M

1
Welp, speech class is killing me. I feel like everyone in my class has far less anxiety than I do - oh, and, we had an impromptu speech today. On the plus side, I did much better than before, but I need a lot of work. I hate going up there feeling all heart attack-y and sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat.

The only reason I am not dropping this class is because in my book it said that public speaking skills will help you in life for the next 50 or 60 years, but if you choose to never do it out of anxiety, you will be afraid of it for the next 50 or 60 years. That really spoke to me; I mean, if everyone gave into to their anxiety, we wouldn't have Ted Talks or other motivational speakers - the world would seriously be lacking. So, I accept this challenge as well as the personal growth that will come out of it and hope to rise to the occasion.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
today's weirdness: Some guy just asked me if I could be kind enough to slap him in the face because he just sinned. I'm sitting in a library. What is wrong with people?
 
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