Sometimes I come on here and see my avatar and think "maybe I should change that, I don't feel that way anymore" and then I have spans like the one I am in now and have an avatar that reflects the way I feel perfectly again.
Doing some research on Bernie Madoff for an essay I'm writing . In a nutshell, this guy tricked all these people into trusting him and then he just used them/screwed them over just for his own personal gain. its not like it was just a mishap. No, he meticulously planned it all out. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and if he didnt get caught he probably would have just kept doing it.
The fact that it was ILLEGAL is most likely the only thing that ultimately prevented him from further committing more fraudulent schemes ....because lets be real, HOW could this guy have had much of a conscience? I mean really, what kind of a person does that?
Well Im putting up the Xmas tree. I have been quite run down and blue and frustrated beyond.. Ive got so many anxieties that breathing shallow has been a norm. But hell yeah Im putting myself together this afternoon. Rugs is at his place and so Im free.
Ive decided to be conscious today and concentrate on mindfulness and do things that will bring potential happy times. Im finding it crucial to look after myself and care for myself - something I stopped doing- because I have people who rely on me and without caring for me- then everything falls without a foundation.
I need to find my happiness and I want to bring the xmas special times and bake my vegan gingerbreads for people and make gifts and put up the tree and plan special moments : )
But seriously, today, my older sister throw a wobbly and fell out with our eldest sister cuz she - the eldest - mushed up a tiny piece of banana and rubbed it on her 5 month old niece's gums so she could taste it. :idontknow:
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