Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
A story I read online once:

A man in his old age dies and is taken up into his eternal resting place. Flying up through the clouds and through the atmosphere the old man's spirit reaches a large field filled with wind swept, beautiful, fluffy green grass. In the grass a few yards to his right he notices a dog staring back at him, it's tongue out, and a happily wagging tail. It was the old man's dog that had died when he was just a boy. The man was so filled with joy to be reunited with his friend that his eyes began filling with tears.

After they had exchanged hello's the way a human can with a dog the man looked around for shelter. Far off in the distance he noticed a large, ornate gate glistening in the sunlight. Once the man arrived - his dog naturally following - he walked through and into the hotel-like mansion that led from the gate, for there were no guards to stop anyone from entering.
"This must be heaven" the man muttered under his breath, admiring the carpet, the walls, the chandelier, and even the fragrance of the place. The man could even smell his favorite dish cooking in the cafeteria somewhere in the bowels of the mansion.
Walking up to the uniformed man at the lobby desk the old man noticed he was very thirsty, for the walk towards the mansion had been a long one in the hot sun, and he made sure to let the employee know it.
"Yes, sir we have the best, bottled sparkling stream water you cannot buy anywhere from Earth. Sign a contract with us for permanent, eternal lodging and the bottled water is yours, as much as you want forever. We do not allow pets though so you will have to leave your dog outside of the gate for all eternity."
The old man was understandably distraught over this. He decided to look elsewhere for lodging in the afterlife and would come back if he couldn't find anything better.
Several hours later he arrived at another gate. This one led to a 3 story building. It was an ordinary home that didn't stand out from any of the others he had known when he was alive on Earth, but once inside he came to realize that this one did allow pets.
Still as thirsty as ever the old man inquired of the employee at the front desk as to whether or not they had drinking water. They did but it required a trip to the manual-operated drinking well just a few feet away from the building. It was free of charge to literally anyone that wanted to drink from it. Judging by comparison the beautiful mansion he had come from to the one he was currently standing in, the old man deduced he had gone straight from heaven to hell. Very curious about this the old man told the employee at the front desk about his travel to the first home. The employee's eyes gave a knowing glance back at the man and the dog still wagging his tail somehow as fast as ever.
"That place?...
"Oh, that was hell you just came from. The landlord of that place is the devil and his employees there love to dress themselves up in beautiful clothes and fragrant perfume. They know nothing of love or loyalty and lie and seduce any poor soul to sign a lease with them."
In the end the old man decided to sign a lease with the second home but he had the best of both worlds: his favorite four-legged companion by his side for all eternity and a nice home to live in and eat/drink for free.
 
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AtTheGates

Banned
just got home. I'm doing some more reading about this 11th century nun named Hildegard von Bingen . she lived in a monastery (with other nuns) away from society for most of her life .some of her compositions of polyphony are really relaxing. she believed in holistic healing and wrote a few manuscripts about it, as well as herbal remedies for different ailments . its no wonder nuns used to use singing and playing harps as a form of "music therapy" to calm the sick and dying in hospitals during the medieval ages...I can see how polyphony would help an elderly person calm down/be at peace while they're on their death bed.

but I wonder if that would work on inmates ..unfortunatly we dont have any nuns though..lol...just ONE chaplain and she isn't much of a singer...but in general , I have noticed that most female officers have a different effect on inmates than the male officers. They can often get them to comply/calm down much more quickly when things get out of hand...especially the older women.



anyway, really interesting stuff.

Hildegard of Bingen: life and music of the great female composer - Classic FM


This is a collection of songs she composed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUsI8v0-Qkw
 
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Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I suppose the socially acceptable thing to do when you bump into an acquaitance is to stop and do some small talk, but I never have anything to say in mind so I just say "hey how is it going!" and keep walking, which probably makes me look like I don't want anything to do with them.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I suppose the socially acceptable thing to do when you bump into an acquaitance is to stop and do some small talk, but I never have anything to say in mind so I just say "hey how is it going!" and keep walking, which probably makes me look like I don't want anything to do with them.

Yeah, I know the feeling. A only classmate from my secondary school days recognised me when I was out shopping, and I had nothing to say to him as far as making small talk, except how you handled it, asking them how they were. I felt like an idiot. :eek:h: :sad:
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
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AtTheGates

Banned
took the day off to order the text books I need and do some other errands to get ready for college. can you believe that one of these criminal justice books cost me $170? are you fvcking kidding me!? its a paperback BOOK!


anyway, I'm trying to call the community college to find out how to schedule an appointment with my advisor but no one will pick up the phone.. dialed 3 different numbers already




ahhhhhhhhh yes....The academic headache begins -_-




for some reason getting cussed out by inmates is starting to look a lot more appealing than spending all this money on overpriced classes and books . lol



but really though, I hope this is all going to be worth it. (when it comes to career choices)
 
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FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I just found out that my uncle's girlfriend's son overdosed and died yesterday. My uncle actually broke the door down to find him.

I only met the guy a couple of times, but he seemed like a very decent, nice sort of dude... to think of what he was struggling with. It's something what life does to you, the way it pulls and tears all the damn time while we plod ahead.

I think about the grief that my uncle and his girlfriend are experiencing now, not to mention that the guy had two young sons. The wreckage and wages of just trying to get by, it's a wonder any of us put up with it.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Why am I always the one everyone in my family seems turn to whenever they want summit fix or asking my opinion on what I think they should do? Tha f*ck should ah know, huh?! Am the youngest, not that you'd be able to feckin' tell like. :eek:h: :kickingmyself:

Really get me down that, so it does. The amount o' expectation n' responsibility place upon me all the time. :sad: Apparently, I'm a good person for not complaining too much, but also a really shitty, horrible person for wanting to know why I should care about an argument within the family that doesn't impact ma life in the longer term. Whit?! Just cuz we're family... F*ck off with guilt-trippin' pish, man!

Also, dreading yet another milestone birthday next year. :thumbdown:
 
I met with my therapist again today - I always feel rejuvenated after a session. She brought up something very interesting to me today. We were discussing how I feel stunted in my growth as an adult and how I feel like I should have accomplished more at this age - she said it might have something to do with when I hit ****rty. I started my period at 12, which is normal, but at age 13/14 I started to look much older than my actual age; like I was 18 or 19. I have always been larger chested and people took notice which was humiliating, so I wore sweaters all the time to cover myself up. I always got treated like I was older too. She said that because of this, I may have dug my heels in and tried to stay as young as possible (mentally) to combat my swiftly maturing body because I wasn't ready for that. It really does make sense - the other day a co-worker said I seem younger in an innocent way. It's sort of a relief to know that there is an actual reason for the delay and I was responding to what was happening the best I could at the time. For a while I was concerned that I was autistic or something.

I made a bunch of phone calls/doctor's appointments today - it's nice that talking on the phone doesn't give me anxiety anymore. I might have more health problems, but I am not entirely sure until I do some tests. I try so hard to be healthy (with my eating/lifestyle), but something always crops up. I guess you need to be mentally healthy also - stress will **** your shit up and I am stressed out a lot. I need to schedule 2 more appointments: one for an ultrasound and the other for the dentist.

On a very positive note, I start school next month which will allow for a lot of social opportunities. It's going to be a very sweaty month (lol), but I am looking forward to meeting new people and making steps toward a brighter future. My entire first year of college is going to be paid for too which is amazing - I received more money than I anticipated. At the 4 year college that I will be transferring to, there is a study abroad program that I will do anything and everything to get into. I chose going to the UK instead of France because I can study molecular biology/genetics instead of just French. Also, they speak English, so that is an added bonus - no getting lost in translation lol. I'm really going to push myself out of my comfort zone and accomplish everything I set out to. I get so hung up on my age sometimes - like, I should have done this a few years ago, but when I really think about it, the timing is just right. I am in a much better head space than I was a few years ago :)
 
I used to LOVE watching Get Smart on tv. I watched it religiously. It made me happy. :)
I also watched Gilligan's Island if it was also on.
From memory, they were on either Saturday mornings, or weekday afternoons. Happy times. :)
It saddens me that those "good old days" are good. :sad:

Edit: Just watching some Get Smart videos i found online. Enjoying them just like old times! :bigsmile:
 
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AtTheGates

Banned
I just found out that my uncle's girlfriend's son overdosed and died yesterday. My uncle actually broke the door down to find him.

I only met the guy a couple of times, but he seemed like a very decent, nice sort of dude... to think of what he was struggling with. It's something what life does to you, the way it pulls and tears all the damn time while we plod ahead.

I think about the grief that my uncle and his girlfriend are experiencing now, not to mention that the guy had two young sons. The wreckage and wages of just trying to get by, it's a wonder any of us put up with it.


thats terrible, man : (



was it from opiates?
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
thats terrible, man : (



was it from opiates?

Yeah, heroin. :(

I talked with my cousin about it, he knows more about this stuff than me, and apparently there's a lot of fentanyl going around in my town. He speculated that the guy may have got some cut into his heroine and that's what caused the OD.
 
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I just found out that my uncle's girlfriend's son overdosed and died yesterday. My uncle actually broke the door down to find him.

I only met the guy a couple of times, but he seemed like a very decent, nice sort of dude... to think of what he was struggling with. It's something what life does to you, the way it pulls and tears all the damn time while we plod ahead.

I think about the grief that my uncle and his girlfriend are experiencing now, not to mention that the guy had two young sons. The wreckage and wages of just trying to get by, it's a wonder any of us put up with it.

Geez, my heart goes out to both of them. They must be devastated to an unimaginable degree.

What do you even do in a situation like that? I hope they'll be okay.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I just found out that my uncle's girlfriend's son overdosed and died yesterday. My uncle actually broke the door down to find him.

I only met the guy a couple of times, but he seemed like a very decent, nice sort of dude... to think of what he was struggling with. It's something what life does to you, the way it pulls and tears all the damn time while we plod ahead.

I think about the grief that my uncle and his girlfriend are experiencing now, not to mention that the guy had two young sons. The wreckage and wages of just trying to get by, it's a wonder any of us put up with it.

F*ck! Sorry to hear that. One of my cousins died from a drug, heroin, overdose as well a few years ago. Had a kid as well, a daughter. So I can empathise what yer uncle and girlfriend are experiencing just now. As well as yerself, in terms of not really knowing the person that well. :sad:
 
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AtTheGates

Banned
Yeah, heroin. :(

I talked with my cousin about it, he knows more about this stuff than me, and apparently there's a lot of fentanyl going around in my town. He speculated that the guy may have got some cut into his heroine and that's what caused the OD.

gangs could care less who they hurt :veryangry: . That kind of thing really pisses me off.

iv heard of some drug dealers/gang members (same thing really) adding fentanyl to certain batches of their "product" specifically to make customers overdose so that other customers will hear about it and think its just really strong heroin...apparently someone O.D.ing on it is an indicator of high potency for users, when really its just the fentanyl added to it.



Anyway , I'm sorry that happened. I had an old friend from high school who was hooked on heroin for YEARS...havent heard from him since.
 
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I've just made up a name for a new religion or movement. It's called "NOTHING WORKS". It incorporates the factual knowledge that almost none of the avenues of self-improvement actually work in practise (books/studying, praying, visualizing, meditating, ...) :eek:mg:
 
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