Wondering if I should do the whole New Year's Resolutions thing. During down time at work, I decided to start a bullet list of things I dislike about myself, things I wish I were doing, etc. I had no trouble coming up with plenty of things to improve on and things to do that I've been putting off. So I definitely have plenty of potential resolutions.
On the other hand, I feel like maybe everything is impossible anyway. I mean, I'm finishing my first year living alone. It's also my first year after college and my first full year of having a job. And as I look back on the year, I see plenty of things I started sometime during the year and kind of failed at. Writing? Started some things, didn't finish many things. I always kind of hated and dreaded writing, so whenever a time would come up where I had decided to write some I'd really not enjoy it. Reading? I read a decent number of books this year, yeah. But I didn't truly enjoy many of them. I usually felt so glad to have them done with. Running? Ugh, that's didn't work out. Took me weeks to just buy shoes. I immediately realized that my legs are so weak I physically can't run for more than 45 seconds. I toned it down to just walking but even this was boring or frustrating most of the time.
On the other hand, I suppose trying and failing might be better than literally staring at a wall or something. It's just that I would really like to actually enjoy something, not just force myself to do it. It's hard to feel satisfied with just, "Yay! I did those things I wanted to do. I mean, sure, I hated doing them and they didn't make me happy at all. But I did them, so I guess that's supposed to make me feel happy?" I mean, I know people who do things they actually like. THAT'S what I'd like. I guess you just have to hope eventually you'll find something you like.
