Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

I can no longer tell whether the world has gone mad or just stupid. Maybe it's both. Either way, I want my money back.

I was thinking of the prison analogy, and I agree anxiety is like a prison. But real prison I wouldn't survive there, if I couldn't get alone time I would die. Last year I thought I might lose everything, and it made me appreciate more of what I have, my unit which I can escape to and close out the world, the sun coming up on a new day and me being able to sit somewhere and enjoy it.

*Sigh* I have this butterfly in my tummy feeling for about a week now since the training session started. Now the 2 days training is over but the anxiety still lingers remembering how I ****ed up things again. I've been promising myself to be more natural but how can I do that when my natural self is this. I'm quiet. I can't relate to most people's humor. When they speak, I can't find anything more to say than a simple 'ahhh'. It's not that I'm anxious, it's just that I am not interested and the more I say something just to talk, the more lame it sounds. Sometimes I feel that my anxiety is not just because of the anxiety itself but because my personality doesn't fit with most people around me. Most of the time, I just can't find any reason to speak at all. When I'm in my room, I feel like a princess. I am comfortable and happy. I like looking at cute stuffs. I like going at the mall by myself and just looking or buying nice things. I feel perfect. I feel like I'm doing everything right and then I have to go to work, I have to mingle with people and suddenly my dreamy world goes poof! I'm back to being the teeny, weirdo girl who acts stupid, absentminded, and quiet. It takes that fast to make me see what I really am from the rest of the world. Different. I'm different.

BlueDays said: ↑

You know you are absolutely right! :thumbup:
What I am worried about is if I die in a car accident then a family member would find my pathetic art work. I guess I could just destroy each drawing and painting after I have finished and it has served it's purpose. :thinking:


If you know the "several reasons" why you are feeling this way, could you try and get some professional therapy (advice) on how you might be able to manage those reasons, so they don't make you struggle so much in life?

Its not a bad idea, but I've got a hard time trusting therapists these days. The last five casually dropped contact in the middle of treatment. The last one went on vacation and stopped returning my calls after she came back.

Maybe you're right but it's a hard step to make.

:idontknow: Ah don't know what tae do... Nuthin' goin' right, lately. :sad:

anomicdeer said: ↑

I'm back to having no friends and no one to talk to. Even when I've done nothing wrong things just don't really work out.

Ah definitely relate tae that. :sad:

anomicdeer said: ↑

I'll just work on trying to be perfect and be the stuck up person everyone already think I am.

No' tryin' tae pit a downer on that plan there, but... Would that no' make ye lonely? Ah might just be speakin' fae experience there, like. :idontknow:

Finally got to play some basketball after 5 years. I still suck at it, but I had a good time. Next time I might try to play with other people.

I tend to focus all my stress in my jaw and this makes my jaw and teeth hurt. I am constantly clenching both while awake and asleep. I catch myself doing to all the time. I don't even realize I'm doing it then end up in pain.
I even went to the dentist two years ago thinking I had an infected tooth and he knew right away that I had been clenching and said "STOP IT"! But here I am two years later still doing it...lol

Don't manscape with hair removal cream. Not only does it not work very well, it'll burn your skin. Amongst places I won't mention, six of my fingertip are now burned.

Lesson learned.

Ithior said: ↑

Finally got to play some basketball after 5 years. I still suck at it, but I had a good time. Next time I might try to play with other people.

I used to play with my dad and older sister sometimes. It was usually a good time, and pretty good stress relief too. I'm not all that good at it either though. A lot of the time when I try to dribble the ball it ends up hitting the front of my sneaker and rolls away.

BlackPuma said: ↑

Don't manscape with hair removal cream. Not only does it not work very well, it'll burn your skin. Amongst places I won't mention, six of my fingertip are now burned.

Lesson learned.

Ouch!

I think I've met someone so much like me that I now understand why people think I'm frustrating to try to talk to.

GraybeardGhost said: ↑

I can no longer tell whether the world has gone mad or just stupid. Maybe it's both. Either way, I want my money back.

......says most middle class citizens since the fall of the Roman Empire. :bigsmile:

BlackPuma said: ↑

Don't manscape with hair removal cream. Not only does it not work very well, it'll burn your skin. Amongst places I won't mention, six of my fingertip are now burned.

Lesson learned.

Yikes Puma!! 😮

You will have to invest in a good pair of tweezers instead. :ironicsmile: 😉

Don't you just love Social Phobia!? <---- (read in a sarcastic tone of voice)

You read a person's post which is angry at someone, and your brain automatically wonders if it is you they are angry at!

Have you done something wrong to offend them? :thinking:
Does anyone else feel so insecure their mind instantly thinks they have done something wrong at the slightest indication that something is wrong with someone? :oh:

someone has tried to gain access to my SPW account twice over the past two months. i've been getting failed login attempt notifications. WHY would anyone want my account? who are you? what are you? meh, you can have it if it you want it that badly.

telepathine said: ↑

someone has tried to gain access to my SPW account twice over the past two months. i've been getting failed login attempt notifications. WHY would anyone want my account? who are you? what are you? meh, you can have it if it you want it that badly.

Whoa, that is scary telepathine. :sad:
Have you sent a PM to Remus about it?
It could be a previously banned member trying to get in again through someone else's account maybe? :thinking:

A while earlier I was watching tv in my room when I heard the squeaky noise my backdoor makes when it opens. My mom was already sleeping and my dog was laying in my room beside me so I wondered what was going on. It's really windy here tonight and apparently it blew the door open since I must have forgotten to close it well and lock it after I was outside playing with my dog earlier :omg:, scary.

BlueDays said: ↑

Don't you just love Social Phobia!? <---- (read in a sarcastic tone of voice)

You read a person's post which is angry at someone, and your brain automatically wonders if it is you they are angry at!

Have you done something wrong to offend them? :thinking:
Does anyone else feel so insecure their mind instantly thinks they have done something wrong at the slightest indication that something is wrong with someone? :oh:

I jump to conclusions like that too sometimes. Usually I end up going back and trying to replay the last conversation I had with the person to try to remember if I said something they might've took the wrong way or something. I wish I didn't though.

BlueDays said: ↑

Whoa, that is scary telepathine. :sad:
Have you sent a PM to Remus about it?
It could be a previously banned member trying to get in again through someone else's account maybe? :thinking:

I agree, it'd be a good idea to pm a moderator about it.

PerseverareJasmine said: ↑

A while earlier I was watching tv in my room when I heard the squeaky noise my backdoor makes when it opens. My mom was already sleeping and my dog was laying in my room beside me so I wondered what was going on. It's really windy here tonight and apparently it blew the door open since I must have forgotten to close it well and lock it after I was outside playing with my dog earlier :omg:, scary.

Did you go an check the back door by yourself!? That was very brave of you, PerseverareJasmine. I would have woken my mother up and got her to come and check it with me, lol. :blushing:
Have you got a big dog? I wish I could have a big dog for protection.

telepathine said: ↑

someone has tried to gain access to my SPW account twice over the past two months. i've been getting failed login attempt notifications. WHY would anyone want my account? who are you? what are you? meh, you can have it if it you want it that badly.

That happened to me too last month or so. I believe those trying to get into your account do it for spam purposes. The IP address mentioned was 188.163.79.166, right? When you track it it goes to a place in the Ukraine.

When you enter the IP on Google it appears to be a common problem on forums.

BlueDays said: ↑

Yikes Puma!! 😮

You will have to invest in a good pair of tweezers instead. :ironicsmile: 😉

Yeah, no kidding. Well, I'd have to check which parts did and didn't melt off first. ;P