POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will discover?

[Phobologist]

POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will discover?

What is the main "defect" about yourself that you fear other people will discover? Think very carefuly about this question. The main "defect" is the one which causes you to be afraid of all your other social fears. You fear those other situations or possibilities only because they ultimately would prove this fear true. It's the one fear, which if discovered, would destroy your self-esteem on the spot.

 

[Emily_G]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Boring, definlty.

 

[Phobologist]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Cool emily. Mine is being substandard.

 

[Luke1993]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

substandard or failure. I went for substandard yes

 

[Ebbe]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Great poll! For me it is being afraid of being thought of as stupid, definitely.

Stupid could be anything.
The worst is when I say something I think of as stupid and only realise it a split second after it leaves my mouth. Answering a question before I realise it was a joke is probably the worst. Also mispronouncing a word feels horrible. Or having to admit that I don't know much about the subject that is being discussed.

I could go on and on giving examples.

I feel stupid, when there is a person in the room that knows something about something that I don't know. I feel like they will look down on me for that, and therefore everybody in the room will look down on me. The best way to not get caught is to say nothing at all.

 

[BDDgirl]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

most of the above but I settled for ugly

 

[Phobologist]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Great poll! For me it is being afraid of being thought of as stupid, definitely.

Stupid could be anything.
The worst is when I say something I think of as stupid and only realise it a split second after it leaves my mouth. Answering a question before I realise it was a joke is probably the worst. Also mispronouncing a word feels horrible. Or having to admit that I don't know much about the subject that is being discussed.

I could go on and on giving examples.

I feel stupid, when there is a person in the room that knows something about something that I don't know. I feel like they will look down on me for that, and therefore everybody in the room will look down on me. The best way to not get caught is to say nothing at all.

It amazes me how we all have different phobias and how little sense other people's phobias make to me. This realy illustrates the irrational nature of our phobias. I find it fascinating how you describe this anxiety, and I am sorry to hear that it worries you so much. My anxiety of being substandard must appear similarly obscure to you.

 

[Scotsman]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

probably that I lack substance and that there is nothing to me, so maybe same substandard thing.

 

[hippiechild]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

A failure and stupid by the nature of my failings...

 

[Enialis227]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I'm not sure about how to answer this one.
I have an inherent conflict in that I am extremely arrogant, so I think that I am smart, intelligent, or whatever, but also have social anxiety disorder. I just fear that people will misperceive me, and think that I am not as capable as I think I am.
I am not really afraid about anything in particular, I am just afraid that people think of me negatively in any way, period.
I guess that it means that I am afraid that people will think that I am substandard, not in general, but in any given area.

 

[Phobologist]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

probably that I lack substance and that there is nothing to me, so maybe same substandard thing.

Could you explain this one to me? Perhaps this is a new type entirely.

 

[Scotsman]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Hey Enialis
I can definatlye relate to that. I also think that I am smart and attractive etc, which causes its own problems because people then expect something from me. I should be cooler then I am, or happier, funnier, etc etc any number of things. I also think I was more of those things in the past and now I am failing, so am a constant disappointment to myself and others.

 

[blue-roses]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I think I'm all of them, so I said "substandard" in general. I know I'm smart - how else would my results at the end of high school be in the top 0.05% or whatever they were - but I certainly don't come across that way to others. I'm extremely ugly. I lead a boring life and I can't even appear interesting because I'm so inhibited in my interactions with people. Someone even told one of my friends behind my back that I was boring. Because I have absolutely no self-confidence, I always appear clumsy and "clueless". I blush at the drop of a hat, and it's got worse in recent months. I can't get a job, and even though I had exam results that could easily have got me into a medical degree, I settled for speech pathology. I'm doomed to a life of being "substandard". I think that about covers it!

 

[Noca]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I dont talk to ANY of my highschool friends cause I feel like a failure at life.

 

[Silvox Black]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I fear the aspect of failure, not only in my physical life in school and whatnot but in my thinking and understanding as well. I fear I have a lack of intelligence and an ability to perform well.

 

[Interzone]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Where's the everything option?

 

[Phobologist]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I'm not sure about how to answer this one.
I have an inherent conflict in that I am extremely arrogant, so I think that I am smart, intelligent, or whatever, but also have social anxiety disorder. I just fear that people will misperceive me, and think that I am not as capable as I think I am.
I am not really afraid about anything in particular, I am just afraid that people think of me negatively in any way, period.
I guess that it means that I am afraid that people will think that I am substandard, not in general, but in any given area.

That sounds like a fear of being substandard to me. I have similar characteristics to you.

 

[Phobologist]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I think I'm all of them, so I said "substandard" in general. I know I'm smart - how else would my results at the end of high school be in the top 0.05% or whatever they were - but I certainly don't come across that way to others. I'm extremely ugly. I lead a boring life and I can't even appear interesting because I'm so inhibited in my interactions with people. Someone even told one of my friends behind my back that I was boring. Because I have absolutely no self-confidence, I always appear clumsy and "clueless". I blush at the drop of a hat, and it's got worse in recent months. I can't get a job, and even though I had exam results that could easily have got me into a medical degree, I settled for speech pathology. I'm doomed to a life of being "substandard". I think that about covers it!

Yea it sounds like you picked the right root phobia!

 

[Hellhound]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I'm boring, foolish, dumb, mentally ill and deficient which leads me to fail at life.

Then i'm ugly, but that's highly noticeable, so there's no reason to be afraid of others noticing, lol

 

[Enialis227]

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Hey Enialis
I can definatlye relate to that. I also think that I am smart and attractive etc, which causes its own problems because people then expect something from me. I should be cooler then I am, or happier, funnier, etc etc any number of things. I also think I was more of those things in the past and now I am failing, so am a constant disappointment to myself and others.

Its interesting to find that people feel like I do.
Its not that I lack self-confidence, its just that I break down in front of people.
And I know exactly what you mean about the expectation thing. I just made friends with my religion professor who was impressed with some of the answers I was giving to the class (since I can do things like now because of the meds) about Buddhism (I'm a Zen Buddhist), and now I can't write an essay that he assigned, because I am afraid of not living up to his expectations of my intelligence. He knows I have Bi-polar disorder and Social Phobia, and he was really willing to help me out when I was having problems getting my medication straight, but there is only so much slack that he can give me. Don't know what to do with this one.

That sounds like a fear of being substandard to me. I have similar characteristics to you.

Yep, I'll go with fear of being substandard then.