POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will discover?

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I fear failures

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

It's hard for me to pin down but I think I fear people discovering my lack of experience and social ineptness. Which was caused by fear and anxiety in the first place. I'm afraid that I will be found out to be substandard.
So I voted I am afraid I am substandard (in general).

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I fear that people will find out i'm really Elvis.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Beautygirl said: ↑

most of the above but I settled for ugly

No worries there, BG
---

I went with sub-standard.

I've always felt inferior in-general to everyone around me. I often refer to everyone else as "real people."

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I'm afraid people will find out I'm substandard.

I'm afraid to discover FOR MYSELF that it's true that I'm substandard. I have increasingly started to believe that about myself lately.

I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone. That I am an empty shell with no ideas, imagination or creativity - and thus worthless. I have many reasons to believe this. When I look back at my life, it seems to make sense, although I didn't understand this until recently. I think it's largely genetic. There doesn't seem to be any other explanation, except maybe upbringing and environmental factors to a degree. I believe most people are born with sufficient potential, with enough energy and resourcefulness to never feel like they are just empty, and then there's people like me who enter any situation where input is expected (a conversation, a relationship... any thread at any message board...) and have next to nothing to say or to contribute.

I have a feeling this is something even most people with SA cannot relate to, and their SA stems from something else entirely, and that makes me feel even more defective and alone. If someone does relate, I'd like to know.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Boring, I guess.

But then, worrying about this is what makes me boring. That's confusing... =)

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

That my politeness is a cover for a hateful heart.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Wow there are a lot of other atelophobes out there! IM surprised because it seemed at first that not many people shared my social phobia.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Deathinmusic said: ↑

I'm afraid people will find out I'm substandard.

I'm afraid to discover FOR MYSELF that it's true that I'm substandard. I have increasingly started to believe that about myself lately.

I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone. That I am an empty shell with no ideas, imagination or creativity - and thus worthless. I have many reasons to believe this. When I look back at my life, it seems to make sense, although I didn't understand this until recently. I think it's largely genetic. There doesn't seem to be any other explanation, except maybe upbringing and environmental factors to a degree. I believe most people are born with sufficient potential, with enough energy and resourcefulness to never feel like they are just empty, and then there's people like me who enter any situation where input is expected (a conversation, a relationship... any thread at any message board...) and have next to nothing to say or to contribute.

I have a feeling this is something even most people with SA cannot relate to, and their SA stems from something else entirely, and that makes me feel even more defective and alone. If someone does relate, I'd like to know.

Ok very interesting,

Death do you fear that you are stupid or boring, or that you are just below par? You mentioned repeatedly that you had nothing to offer in a conversation. Is this a specific phobia? Are you afraid of only certain situations in addition to being generaly afraid of being discovered as "substandard?". What is your substandardness centered around? I meant for this category to be comprehensive and not specific to any particular defect. Perhaps you have a certain "defect" related to making conversation? Could you explain more?

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

lunachi said: ↑

I'm afraid I'm a failure, I think...
What does it mean if you're substandard?
xx

Substandard applies to any combination of particular defects which together make a person fear that they are generaly below par compared to what they should be in order to be a worthwile person.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

blue-roses said: ↑

I'm extremely ugly.

Nope, you definitely aren't ugly. At all.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I'm not sure exactly. I've been trying to figure this one out for so long. I know there's a lot of them. Maybe it's a sucks to be me combination of all of them, wrapped into one person? I just know that, I can make friends all right; people are eager to meet me, and initially they are super nice and complimenting, but then something happens that makes them leave. I've never been given a reason. Quite troubling.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

May I select all of these options? ^^
But usually the fear of being too stupid or too ugly is governing my thoughts closely followed by the apprehension of being a failure or substandard.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

ANY!!! i'm not afraid that people "discover" or think about me... . if everybody has defects, why must i be perfect??

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

My defect would have to be my looks, or lack thereof.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I don't really care for using the word defect. Hearing that makes me almost feel worse about myself. I could almost settle for all of the above really but I look at them as problems that I have to get past. If I used the word defect that makes me sound like something broken and can't be fixed...that gives me less hope for myself. Does anyone else feel like that?

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Definitely being a failure. A failure academically, professionally, intellectually, visually, sexually, socially, etc. Just failure in general.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Beautygirl said: ↑

most of the above but I settled for ugly

if that you on the pic, then the fear of being ugly shouldn't even cross your mind.


I fear of being boring, i have been called boring before but it was by people i didn't feel like talking too. also most ppl i end up talking to has no interest in what i'm interested in, so it makes a lot of arkward moment for me ....

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

Harleyq said: ↑

Definitely being a failure. A failure academically, professionally, intellectually, visually, sexually, socially, etc. Just failure in general.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco

I said other. I almost picked ugly, but I assume that is meant on the outside. Ugly on the inside is something I don't want people to find out.