Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco
I fear being looked down upon, so fear of being substandard mostly.
Because I am quiet/meek, boring and always stumble over words in live face to face conversations, people assume I'm stupid.
Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco
i put other, because i think my defect is egotism. it's buried under self-contempt. or they're just different sides of the same coin. i'm always either black or white, being in between is really anxiety-inducing.
i think it goes back to my upbringing. too much focus on being the 'best', and on being 'special', and on accomplishments. not enough on just being an actual person, with feelings, and the ability to make mistakes.
Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco
In order of most to least feared:
1. I am afraid I am stupid
2. I am afraid I am substandard (in general)
3. I am afraid I am boring
4. I am afraid I am ugly
5. I am afraid I am a failure (at school, work, etc)
6. I am afraid I am foolish
7. I am afraid of blushing
i think it goes back to my upbringing. too much focus on being the 'best', and on being 'special', and on accomplishments. not enough on just being an actual person, with feelings, and the ability to make mistakes.
Yes, exactly. What makes it a real problem is that I know I can be the best (whether that is true or not doesn't matter), but when I make mistakes it almost cripples me and I can't function, and then it takes a lot of time and willpower to rebuild my confidence.
Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco
I chose substandard... but boring, foolish, and afraid of being a failure would apply to some extent as well. I just feel like I'm "different" from pretty much everyone I know, and not in a good way. I guess stupid could apply as well, but only in a social/common sense way- like there are many things that I feel I should know by now, that everyone else just knows instinctively or learned at a much earlier age, and I'm too ashamed to admit that I'm ignorant of them.
Re: POLL #3:What is the main "defect" you have which you fear other people will disco
I think the one thing that would destroy me personally isn't listed... If I was either in a group of people or trying to ask out a girl and they knew that I was inexperienced with women. I can say this with ease here on a forum, but in person that would be totally and completely embarrassing so much that I would probably just leave if someone found out.
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