Picking up Women

[Opaline]

I just met the prettiest girl today at the club I volunteer at. But I know I'll never do anything about it.

I saw plenty of attractive guys at work and on the subway today. But I wouldn't have the courage to hit on them and they didn't pay much notice to me. Probably don't realize I'm in my 20's anyway

Let's start the ForeverAlone Club, gunners. I think it'd be a big hit.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Beat, you'll encounter a lot of them in the service industry.

Are the pervy old men calling you 'babydoll' too, guns? :sad:

I personally believe that you can tell if you'll be attracted to a person within 5 minutes after meeting him/her. This means that the girl will probably never have any romantic feelings towards their male friend, because she's just not attracted to him in that way.

What if a girl sizes you up in those minutes, decides you are attractive, but doesn't let a hint of it show because, for example, she's in a relationship? Or because she's just not sure about what you're like as a person yet?

 

[thegunners21]

Are the pervy old men calling you 'babydoll' too, guns? :sad:


What if a girl sizes you up in those minutes, decides you are attractive, but doesn't let a hint of it show because, for example, she's in a relationship? Or because she's just not sure about what you're like as a person yet?

Well then, tough luck.

 

[MikeyC]

I have to ask. Forgive me for swaying off topic, but I'm curious.

What is so terrible about the friend zone? If you're genuinely interested in this female, there's the possibility (if she's already taken or just not interested) that the opportunity to date her will display itself later on. Whether or not you want to go through the ordeal of waiting is a separate issue in itself, I understand that. And let's not talk about being a personal doormat for her problems and emotions, heard that one before. However, I don't believe forming a friendship with someone you're interested in will lead to a dead end. At least not in all instances. From my personal experience, the relationships I've formed started through friendship first. Maybe I'm missing something here and my female brain can't figure it out , but this is one reason I find befriending males a bit of a challenge.

The "friend-zone" has been commercialised to signify a place where men can never escape. If she wants to be your friend, then it basically leaves no room for anything further if that's what he's after.

With my ex, we were friends for a long time and then dated. A "friend-zone" is not an infinite place where you can't escape, despite what the Internet leads you to believe. It's not quite that black and white.

I may be going out on a limb here, but it seems to me that getting hit on (in a respectable way) is an enjoyable thing for many women, even if we are not single. It's certainly something that most women seem to remember and enjoy talking about. And if there are women who hate it, I would bet that it's one of those things that they love to hate. Know what I mean?

Being hit on lightly can raise self-esteem and make you happy - for girls and for boys - but there's a threshold that's usually passed which turns it into creepy status.

All people are different, too, and it also depends on timing. A cute girl drinking a coffee alone might not want to be hit on - she just wants to drink her damn coffee in peace. :bigsmile:

 

[thegunners21]

All people are different, too, and it also depends on timing. A cute girl drinking a coffee alone might not want to be hit on - she just wants to drink her damn coffee in peace. :bigsmile:

Flirts with mikey while he drinks coffee. :applause:

 

[MikeyC]

Flirts with mikey while he drinks coffee. :applause:

That's it! I'm changing cafes! :bigsmile:

 

[thegunners21]

That's it! I'm changing cafes! :bigsmile:

At least give me your phone number.

 

[NightTimeForever]

I was told once that I had a dynamic personality, and presuming the woman was being serious, I still can't harness it, and it only leaks out when I am in the thralls of boredom.

 

[MikeyC]

At least give me your phone number.

It's 1-800-HELLNO.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I always notice women that are either, not single, or simply too good for me.
So, I decided several years ago that If Im always going to be single whether I want to be or not, I'm not going to make any attempt to talk to them

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

I've never had any desire to approach a woman I didn't know and flirt or ask her out or anything like that. There have been times I've wanted to get to know some women better because I thought they seemed interesting; and when I say "get to know," I mean that in a platonic way. In other words, I've wanted to form acquaintanceships or friendships with women I didn't already know, but I've never had any desire to form or pursue any type of romantic relationship with any women I didn't already know. So no, I've never tried to "pick up" women before.

 

[emre43]

This guy seems to have it down to a tee, about 2.30 in:

SplitPlaythru: Heavy Rain 1st play (023) Madison rents a motel room - YouTube

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Never approached anyone. Never been approached.

 

[ForWantOf]

Never tried. Never even approached a girl. Once in college, a girl approached me and asked if I remembered what time classes reconvened after the exam break. I was reading or something; I looked up, and my brain said, "Dude, a girl's talking to us. What do we do?"

Hopelessly, I searched my data banks for any indication of how to proceed in this situation and came up with an elegant series of "um," "er," and various other unintelligible, monosyllabic grunts.

Eventually, my brain got around to attaching some jumper cables to my synapses, and I blurted out, "12:15." She laughed, thanked me and walked away. All in all, pretty smooth, I'd say.

I wish I could start a conversation with a woman. I wish I could have a thought about a woman without being overcome with tremendous guilt and self-loathing. Today in the gym, I saw this fair-skinned red-head. The architecture of her physique was astonishing: broad shoulders, lean, yet shapely. Strong and beautiful. I wanted to say something to her. What, I don't know. Guess I was figuring on making it up as I go.

I couldn't, though. Brain said, "There's nothing there. It's just sexual attraction. You don't really want to know her." I don't know if that's true. I don't really know what I want. So I believed it.

To make it even more awkward, I was on the leg extension in between sets, and she gets on the leg curl machine right next to me. If you don't know what that is, you lay on your stomach when you use it, and there was a mirror right in front of us... BEHIND her, I should say. I looked at the ceiling and asked, "Are you that BORED, God?"

 

[BigJoe82]

i have never approached a girl in my life. one time back in school when my anxiety was at an all time high a girl started talking to me and i just walked away. her friend yelled that i made her cry. i felt so bad yet angry at myself. i won't even message girls on dating sites i'll just look at their profile and hope the message me.

 

[hoddesdon]

It depends how much they weigh.

 

[Ithior]

I couldn't, though. Brain said, "There's nothing there. It's just sexual attraction. You don't really want to know her." I don't know if that's true. I don't really know what I want. So I believed it.

You can try telling your brain that you don't know a thing about this person, how can you know that you don't want to know her? You could at least give it a shot. Or maybe try to see it as a chance to practice.


I want to try to use those excuses myself but I haven't had a lot of chances to put them into practice.

 

[ForWantOf]

You can try telling your brain that you don't know a thing about this person, how can you know that you don't want to know her?

Because I've got myself convinced there is nothing else inside of me but the primal urge to procreate. It's not her I'm afraid of, it's me. I'm afraid that if I ever let someone get close to me, I may find out that there isn't anything there.

 

[Lamb]

At least give me your phone number.

^ You guys are too funny.

 

[emre43]

Because I've got myself convinced there is nothing else inside of me but the primal urge to procreate. It's not her I'm afraid of, it's me. I'm afraid that if I ever let someone get close to me, I may find out that there isn't anything there.

That's the exact thing that anxiety sufferers need to overcome. You need to go against your thinking brain and do the things your brain is telling you not to anyway. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

We are animals at the end of the day and no matter what anybody says our main motivation when seeking a partner is finding someone that we deem sexy.