Phone phobia

[Aussie_Lad]

I can't understand why I have this fear. I can answer a phone fine for the most part, but if making a call I try and delay it where possible or make every excuse not to dial the numbers (ie. Person might be asleep, person might be having dinner etc). I think the excuses aren't genuine though, they are made up by the ego to try and trick me into listening to them. When I am actually talking on the phone, I am usually fine, I can't remember the last time that I stuffed up a phone conversation and was embarrassed from it.

Last night, I had to call someone and I was so nervous when contemplating ringing, my ego tried the delaying tactics that it always does. When I managed to overcome this and ring, it turns out that the other person was worse than I was. He was stammering a little at times, and he is the person with quite a number of friends and a healthy social life. I didn't stammer once, yet I am the one with the phobia. So why the fear?

 

[twiggle]

Phone calls can be quite intimidating - you're not alone in thinking that so don't worry. I guess there's always the worry about what kind of mood the person you're phoning is going to be in, and it puts pressure on your speech. You can't just be silent on the phone, its all about talking so as such, you need to have in mind all of the things that you're going to talk about.

Then once you're actually doing it, its easy - because the person has picked up and is willing to talk, which in turn makes you feel slightly more at ease.

I always put off phone calls if I can

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, I can relate too.. I've made excuses like, 'they're having lunch now' or 'it's too early/late now'.. (and sometimes did call at incovenient times and they were 'no, it's okay' or we worked it out, so I or they called later etc.)

I didn't use to have that fear about phone before (unless when work-related in another language where I was uncertain about language skills) Did start to hate the phone when I and a relative had a lot of phone calls, and when I got sensitive to noise... So I just assume these days maybe that other people will hate them too (because I often hate phone calls or have gotten 'incovenienced' by them'...) So I guess it's kinda transfer..

Also, if it's 'important' and I want it to go well, and didn't feel so 'high energy' or positive or cheerful, then I may have delayed making phone calls too...

A good thing is to call someone you KNOW will like to talk to you and who likes talking on the phone beforehand.. It will put you into 'phone mood' - but of course ideally that person wouldn't be too talkative and/or you'd limit the call somewhat fierce..

Usually after the call all goes well, yup.. it's just the 'scary thoughts' of 'what if' that may be scary.. we may have too vivid imaginations!!

 

[Phoenixx]

Making phone calls has always been horrible for me too. I always tend to put it off, like "Oh, I'll do it in an hour" or "Before I make that call, I really should [insert chore/productive procrastination here]." Then I do whatever that "needed" to be done, or an hour will go by and I still put it off.

I also can't stand answering phones. The only time I answer a phone is when a friend or a relative I'm very close to calls. Other than that I usually just let it go.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

I certainly don't love it. I only call someone else if I need something from them or they've asked me to find out something for them. I never call my friends just to see how are they doing, quite a friend, no? I hate to answer the phone, specially if someone else is watching me, because they always nag me for my monosilabic talking at the phone

 

[Porcupine]

Telephones are horrible for me, too. I use them as little as possible. People at work are *shocked* if my phone rings or if I pick it up to make a call, because it's so rare.

Now I'm starting to have to deal with Skype at work, too.


One thing that really helps for me is to not have an audience on my end of the phone. So if I have to make a call at the office, I wait until as many as possible of my co-workers are out of the room. At home, I bring the phone handset to a small room as far from other people as possible and close the door.

I've considered getting a cell phone so that I can step out of the office at work and make calls in some private area, but the idea of actually having a telephone with me all the time just doesn't sit well.

BTW, I did use the telephone today.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

It's initiating a call, the initial answering; greeting and goodbye I have issues with. Otherwise, not so bad, I don't like the phone really... but it's all the build up of making the call that's the fear for me. And well I don't know how to leave/end a conversation, but that's true for everyplace.

 

[Shant]

I still hate phone calls. By now I can manage the anxiety when I'm talking to someone face-to-face. But if it's over the phone? I don't get it, eye contact is a straining challenge for me; there's no eye contact over the phone... and yet I still strain a lot more.

I recently got a job in a sort-of-fast-food restaurant, where position duties shift to whoever's available; so sometimes I be the cashier in the front of the store, sometimes I'm the cashier to picks up the drive-thru orders. The former, isn't too much of a problem. But I internally freak out if I have to pick up the drive-thru orders (especially when the cash register never cooperates with me!), like phone calls.

Ugh, I just hate it. >.<

 

[pebblesdundee]

I don't have a fear of talking to people on the phone, I'm fine with that. Sort of. It's just, family members I live with say "give __ a ring, see how s/he is" and I want to, I just have absolutely no idea how to make small talk, so it takes me days, weeks, sometimes even months, just to think of topics we can talk about. It's so bloody annoying, because I know if I don't prepare, the people I talk to will judge me because they all know how to talk and I don't

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I have terrible phone phobia. I need to make a dental appointment. I've needed to make it for two weeks now, but I still haven't done it. It would only be a quick call but I'll find any excuse not to do it.

Last week I had to return someone's phone call. Because I really had to do this, I forced myself to do it but they were on another call and so their colleague said they'd call me back. I sat at my desk for 20 minutes with my phone in my hand waiting for them to call back. My heart was pounding, I was agitated, and I couldn't focus on anything but the call that was coming. When they did call, the whole thing was sorted in under 2 minutes.

Yeah, I really hate using the phone.

 

[P_Floyd]

Making phone calls is a hard quest. When someone says to me "hey call qwerty" I use the famous excuse "sorry, I don't have his number" or I just say "take my phone and you call".

Why I avoid phone calls? I realy don't know...

 

[Sial Axetder]

Making phone calls is a hard quest. When someone says to me "hey call qwerty" I use the famous excuse "sorry, I don't have his number" or I just say "take my phone and you call".

Why I avoid phone calls? I realy don't know...

To answer your question: Because you can.

 

[roseycheeks]

I avoid answering calls.. like others , once i do answer.. it tends to be ok..

also avoid calling people.. like friends.. i never call friends..
id like to but worry id be boring on the phone.. idk.. feel like pressure to entertain.. they'd be like.. why'd you call styles.

 

[Falkor]

I was just thinking about phone phobias.. a strange number called me, and I was too late taking my phone, if this person will call me again, i will take the phone of course, but it made me feel a bit anxious :: because it's a strange number. who knows who it is, rite? :O

I thought about creating a thread about phone phobia, and see, I see it's already the thread of the day on SPW we're not alone

but with people I see a lot, and I trust 200 %, I'm not afraid as much with strangers

oh and sometimes i have this thought coming up ''I really should call a friend, I haven't speak to him in such a long time..''
But a few sec later I avoid the whole thought I came up with.. :/

 

[Mickery]

I wonder if it's something to do with the lack of social cues? If you're hyper-vigilant to a person's responses, it's much harder when you can't see read their expression or body language.

And if you like to be "invisible to the world" a phone call is uncomfortable because, by nature, they're attending to your needs at your own convenience.

Or maybe it's as simple as being the one to initiate interaction, even when it's by request, and you don't like doing that.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

When I was younger I was truly terrified of making calls or answering the phone, but I could never figure out why. I guess I was afraid to say something retarded.

With time that fear seems to have gone away, but still sometimes my phone conversations can be a little awkward.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I hate phones and microphones (Internet calls... they're harder to evade when someone asks you to log into Skype) when it comes to talking with someone. Not only making a call but also answering.
I can only talk naturally when speaking with some comercial guy trying to sell me stuff, wich is sad.
(Maybe because they're speaking all the time and all I have to say is 'No, thanks. No no, Im not interested.')

When I speak with someone I don't sound naturally, thats why I hate it.

Also, hi forum, Im new around here ^^

You don't sound naturally? What is sounding natural? Not speaking? Then of course you won't sound natural. Speak more, more you will be sounding of natural.

 

[darkrider]

Answering the phone is easy!

As for making a call it's nerve wrecking.

I avoid making phone calls as much as I can. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I can't even call the game store to inquire if they have the game that I want. I can't even make a phone call to help myself!

 

[JunknJunk]

I'm a total phone phobic, and have been since high school. When the phone rings, my heart starts to race. If it's not my immediate family, I usually let it go to voice mail.

And don't even get me started about making phone calls. It's such a stressful experience because first I have to practice what I want to say, then I have to convince myself that I won't sound stupid, or that I'm not interrupting another person, or whatever stupid excuses I can think of.

Make it stop!

 

[Alejandro]

i have phone phobia two. when i answer the phone, i am so nervous i don't catch the persons name.

i hate making phone calls. There must be no audience, otherwise i will get nervous and self conscious.

So i just dial the number, and say "it's locked in" i have to speak now, there's no turning back, that's how my phone call begins