online dating

[S_Spartan]

There are NO leagues. Either start believing it or allow pessimistic thinking (whether or not it's realistic) to prevent you from making any progress, thus ensuring loneliness for the rest of your life. It's your choice to make, and mine as well. I don't think we have all the time in the world to put off the choice of optimism, anymore. Continue with depressive-realist thinking and face going nowhere, meeting no one, doing nothing.

I'm quite serious in this, as well. Things MUST change for me and I feel the first change to make is getting rid of negativity and thus to stop making assumptions about everyone, stop thinking women "ONLY want this or that", etc.

I don't really care to change to be honest. I no longer see relationships or even sex as some great reward.

I sure as hell aint gonna change to get some v*****!

And to be honest, most of the women I see walking around in my area look like hot messes.

The thing that fascinates me about OLD is that it seems like something that could be really functional (like online shopping has become) but yet it is not. I see so many complaints from both men and women. It's so f'ed up that it's almost a joke.

But yet people keep plugging away at it doing the same old things.

 

[Sial Axetder]

women are submissive creatures (at least most of them ) so bad boys radiate mandhood (dominance , confidence , etc ) so these women are biologically programmed to love this type of men , in fact if men are not like that they are not considered men in some cultures .
what about bad part of these guys ? well women tolerate that just like men tolerate the bichiness of some women if they are beautiful .

:idontknow:
Some women are drawn to submissive men. Some men are drawn to dominant women. Vice versa.

Where some of you get these crazy ideas of how things are is mg: :idontknow:

 

[strongman]

@Bronson99: it is not only about the body , it is about the personality ,like I said you have to radiate confidant and masculinity , in the way you talk,walk or even look to other people.

Some women are drawn to submissive men. Some men are drawn to dominant women. Vice versa.

there is always every taste , but the OP asking for the rule not the exception .

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

We our victorious

 

[OceanMist]

Wow......

You have just had the worst type of experience with women.
And I have had the worst type of experience with men. Doesn't mean they're all like that. Same with women.

Actually my experience with women from the dating sites has gone quite well for the most part.

Sure there have been some awkward dates here and there but I have been quite pleased with the online dating. I've met some cool chicks and had good conversations.

In my post I was just talking about how women can be secretive about what they want. Men can be secretive too. I wasn't saying being secretive and game-playing is a bad thing. I was just pointing out that it happens.

 

[Bronson99]

:idontknow:
Some women are drawn to submissive men. Some men are drawn to dominant women. Vice versa.

Where some of you get these crazy ideas of how things are is mg: :idontknow:

I find myself spouting some of these "crazy" (well, more pessimistic than crazy) ideas, but then realize it's the wrong way to go, and I try to become more open-minded and positive about the whole thing. But of course, I keep seeing the same assumptions made here, time and time again... making it harder for me to get rid of the destructive thinking...

At this point, I don't really know what to think anymore.

 

[Bronson99]

Actually my experience with women from the dating sites has gone quite well for the most part.

Sure there have been some awkward dates here and there but I have been quite pleased with the online dating. I've met some cool chicks and had good conversations.

In my post I was just talking about how women can be secretive about what they want. Men can be secretive too. I wasn't saying being secretive and game-playing is a bad thing. I was just pointing out that it happens.

Well, now for my envious/skeptical side: if you've found dating (or at least online dating) to be this easy for you (well, compared to the rest of us here).. I would have to wonder just how affected you are by SA...

And I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable here, or anything, but I think there's some of us here who haven't quite learned the right way to even say "hello" to a woman without seeming awkward, etc..

 

[OceanMist]

My thoughts on the few subjects in the last two pages are:

Muscles are overrated. An example is a guy who stands there looking buff with his arms folded waiting for girls to talk to him will get 30 times less girls than the scrawny little guy walking up and talking to girls left and right. My point is a guy is being social is far more important than having some muscle mass. That example is for offline.

Fashion is more powerful for getting chicks than muscle. A guy who dresses wild will get more attention than the buff guy assuming they have the same social ability.

With that said, having muscle does help with looks so it doesn't hurt to invest some time in push ups and lifting.

A guy is much better off going out and practicing his social skills more than anything else.

I don't really see guys as "bad boys." I personally see the bad boy thing as meaningless. With the online thing, women want a guy they can trust because....it's online. If a guy is giving off the impression that he is "bad" i would assume he would struggle online.

The most important things for guys to display online are money, education, looks, and a great social life and "hobby life." As long as a guy doesn't sound creepy he should be able to get dates assuming he looks presentable in his pictures.

 

[OceanMist]

Well, now for my envious/skeptical side: if you've found dating (or at least online dating) to be this easy for you (well, compared to the rest of us here).. I would have to wonder just how affected you are by SA...

And I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable here, or anything, but I think there's some of us here who haven't quite learned the right way to even say "hello" to a woman without seeming awkward, etc..

I wasn't saying it's always easy. Like i said, i did have some awkward dates here and there.

Awkwardness can mean different things. Meeting someone for the first time is usually awkward even if I talked to them online. Even if the hello is awkward that can be worked through. Dates usually last at least 45 minutes for me, most lasted longer than that, which is a lot of time to calm the nerves and get into the flow of conversation.

You may be surprised to hear that I think having an awkward hello is normal on a first date and doesn't always have to do with SA. I think lots of people go through awkwardness on first dates, even people w/out SA.

 

[S_Spartan]

The most important things for guys to display online are money, education, looks, and a great social life and "hobby life."

So if I take a profile pic holding a dollar bill in one hand, a diploma in my other hand, a tennis racket in the background and a few friends, and look good while doing it, the chicks will come(no pun:bigsmile? :thinking:

 

[Kiwong]

:idontknow:
Some women are drawn to submissive men. Some men are drawn to dominant women. Vice versa.

Where some of you get these crazy ideas of how things are is mg: :idontknow:

Dominant women. Praise be to the Lord! Oh dear, that tangelo went straight to my head.

 

[BlueDays]

Omg, this thread!! mg: h: :crying: :kickingmyself:

 

[S_Spartan]

Omg, this thread!! mg: h: :crying: :kickingmyself:

What? It tastes ok to me....

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Well, then I guess I'm either very lucky, or I'm a beef cake :bigsmile:

 

[OceanMist]

So if I take a profile pic holding a dollar bill in one hand, a diploma in my other hand, a tennis racket in the background and a few friends, and look good while doing it, the chicks will come(no pun:bigsmile? :thinking:

Unfortunately you are right. Most women between the ages of 19-40 go on there either wanting to start a family or continuing a family (meaning they have kid(s)). To do that she usually wants a man that can provide and that is socially trustworthy to raise her children.

This is one of the sad truths of online dating. Personally I have no desire to have children and I'm just looking to have a good time (not just sex) with the girl and just chill with her from time to time but most women are looking for something serious involving children.

I have had success with girls that are ok with just hanging out although I have gotten rejected by many women quite early due to my no college degree, low-wage job and lack of social life.

 

[Srijita52]

my experience on 4 different sites were all pretty much the same.

I sign up and add a profile photo-- before I finish filling out my profile, I get about 10-12 messages from people about 20+ years out of my preferred age range who both compliment my photo and then ask me if I'm 'horney'.
So, I finish the profile and block initial weirdos but the next 5 minutes are spent anxiously staring at the computer screen as MORE AND MORE people send me gross messages and ask if I want to see their weiners.

Yes.
This happened on 4 different dating sites where I specifically said that I was looking for serious relationships/marriage with a MODEST and not sexual/scantily clad profile photo.
All in all, I think that my 15 minutes on PoF had about 63 messages; very few of which I got to read because they were all just freaking me out and making me feel sick...
marriagemindedpeoplemeet.com - same thing. Alot of guys 60+, calling me 'baby' in their messages to me with poor grammar and no punctuation.
gk2gk.com - also same thing but I had messages from 12 people in the 5 minutes before I took my profile down.
AND-- of course... match.com; alot of links to pictures of penises. Alot of old guys.

That was my experience with dating sites.
So, I have decided-- I've been 6 years on my own after a 7 year relationship. I'm 26. I'm going to die alone by choice.
The internet is a scary place.

That's facebook for me :kickingmyself:

 

[PugofCrydee]

If I do use a dating site in the future, I certainly won't be using it hoping to find someone to instantly hit it off with (although that would be nice).

I'd just use it to hopefully find someone who has common interests, and is on a similar wave length. Then take it from there. I certainly won't be hoping for too much

 

[Hellhound]

Where some of you get these crazy ideas of how things are is mg: :idontknow:

Television.

Fashion is more powerful for getting chicks than muscle. A guy who dresses wild will get more attention than the buff guy assuming they have the same social ability.

 

[Bronson99]

The most important things for guys to display online are money, education, looks, and a great social life and "hobby life."

What if you have very little, if any, of this? What then?

Should someone just give up because they mostly don't have the things women want?

The self-improvement thing is difficult in my case... I don't mean to claim exceptionalism and act as if I can't improve anything... that's not quite true... but the issue is getting started on *anything* because it looks like the improvements needed are so monumental, it's not worth trying. And all that, just for doing something so painful for me in the first place--interpersonal relations. In other words, lots of pain and frustration for more pain and frustration.

In other words the last thing I want is social/emotional obligations and expectations over the long term... I've never felt any reward or impetus to be a social creature that way. That life seems to oppose the solitary, introverted life in every way.

 

[Bronson99]

This is one of the sad truths of online dating. Personally I have no desire to have children and I'm just looking to have a good time (not just sex) with the girl and just chill with her from time to time but most women are looking for something serious involving children.

I have had success with girls that are ok with just hanging out although I have gotten rejected by many women quite early due to my no college degree, low-wage job and lack of social life.

Wait a minute, at first you claim you need all these things like good education, good income, good looks, and the women on there want someone serious they can settle down with and hopefully have kids.

Then you say you've had success without a good education, without a good job, without much social life.

Are you trying to pull one over on us? If not: how did you get any dates?

Dude... I just DON'T understand this anymore!

Too many contradictions!

Can't someone give me a solid, reasonable formula for understanding this stuff, without any extreme views??