online dating
- Thread starter Jesushasomeoneforme
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Kiwong
Well-known member
And squatter and scrabble too.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Yea the problem I have with these graphs is its based on one site only.
'Cherry picking' data from one site can give the impression that most/all guys would go for the best looking girls.
Generalizations like this are like saying most women only go for men who have a fat bank account.
Personally, I'd rather spend the time and effort getting to know someone who we seem to be 'on the same level' first, have things in common etc.
Looks - while nice, are only skin deep.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
There's no love for big bellies out there :sad:
Eh? OKC just has a lot of data. I don't think most sites even graph or keep track of theirs. I've seen nothing to believe it might be different on other sites though, or indeed online as whole.
To say that guys just go for the hottest chicks and girls only care about money would be conclusions drawn from data. Personally, I suspect that when they're trying to pick from amongst lots of strangers, it's natural that humans will go for pretty pictures and easily defined positive traits.
Online, there's no definite way of knowing from a profile if someone is honest, or if they're kind, or fun to be with, and so on. A lot of people have a hard time describing themselves even when they're doing their best to be honest.
Bronson99
Well-known member
I'm just as pessimistic about all this as you are, of course, but I do wonder if there's a healthier approach to this, whether or not it is based in reality. Recently I was talking to someone who said it's better if you don't think in terms of "leagues"... there are no leagues, just people, etc. They also said to stop making so many assumptions about women only wanting a guy with a certain income, certain type of car, certain physique, this or that.
I think that's a healthier approach, at least.. isn't it? Not sure if it's realistic, though.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
I actually don't do online dating now as I'm content being single and having fun but I did try it out for a while and I found it to be full of entitled and ignorant people who cannot communicate.
I do think its possible to get too caught up in rigid "league" thinking but on the other hand that is a reality. A pretty girl does not spend copious amounts of time and money on clothes and makeup for no reason. A yuppie type guy does not flaunt his looks and money for his health. These things are like a sexual currency of sorts. And someone who feels that they have invested time into accruing that currency is probably gonna be very picky who they share it with.
What bothered me though is seeing average or below average people acting like the "high sexual currency" people. There is an aweful lot of entitlement thinking going on in OLD.
And OLD is pessimal meaning that people are not looking for your qualities but rather they are looking for reasons to disqualify you (actually a lot of things in society work like that now.)
But if you are going to do OLD then it is best to forget all this and try to have fun with it. That is really all you can do.
See it as pure entertainment and have zero expectations.
See it as an ad campaign.
Maybe out of 300 people there may be one who is sane and down to earth enough to realize that everyone has shortcomings and issues.
But most people, even terribly "flawed" people on OLD seem to want perfection and they want it NOW!
This is partly also preservation on their part because they want you to have yourself "together" so they don't have to invest any time or energy into dealing with your "baggage".
Sort of like how employers don't want to invest in new employees by training them, they want them to be able to "hit the ground running."
Hellhound
Super Moderator
That, my good sir, doesn't exist. They will wait a lot... a loong time... a very very long time
skins
1
I'm sorry but the conclusions they have drawn here seem totally bogus to me...I suspect fudged results...this statement alone makes me highly suspicious:
“Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten.”
I can almost gurantee you that 2/3 of the women total on these sites get plenty written, ...bombarded even.
Survey enough men and you will find they rate 60-65% of women they see as attractive anyway, not bloody 33.3% like they are claiming on ok!
Hell even women without a profile picture i’m sure receive plenty of messages, it’s the massive gender imbalance on these sites..they just don’t want to admit to it.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
That, my good sir, doesn't exist. They will wait a lot... a loong time... a very very long time
And they do wait! How many times I've read online people saying that they have seen the same ads/same people on those sites for years.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
I agree with this also. There is a terrible gender imbalance. Average women in OLD will always get more attention than average men but you can bet that a super attractive woman will get a tremendous response.
Still, there is no way that "cute" girls are going unwritten.
The sites don't care if there is an imbalance as long as people keep coming back and they make money.
The imbalance exists because OLD sites assume that men and women approach dating and love the same way, we don't.
They also assumes that average people will give other average people a chance most of the time, they won't.
I had the profile of that guy , and women was all responsive to me.
A "bad boy" help me to write a profile of some funny masculine guy with a bad guy pic , and you cant believe , most women responded to me even the ones that write in their profile they are serious and no head game , etc . they all look for masculine fun man to have some fun time and some good sex .
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
You know, its funny how over the years I've noticed a lot of women where I live go out with complete 'bad boy' j e r k s.
I mean, seriously. Whats with that?
These women seem like nice people, I just don't get why they would want to be treated like trash..
It confuses me because, in our town everyone knows these guys are just that - j e r k s.
Yet these women seem to want these types, even though they get treated the way they do, and end up getting dumped.
I guess with online dating - if used correctly - you can start by filtering through those people who have the same basic interests. Thats a start I suppose.
Jesushasomeoneforme
Well-known member
I like muscle women do you?
Hellhound
Super Moderator
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Now go tell her to make you a sandwich, I dare you.
Lol Hellhound :bigsmile:
Thats a pretty good photo shop I have to admit.
And I'd still tell her to go make me a sammich...
But I'd say 'please' :bigsmile:
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women are submissive creatures (at least most of them ) so bad boys radiate mandhood (dominance , confidence , etc ) so these women are biologically programmed to love this type of men , in fact if men are not like that they are not considered men in some cultures .
what about bad part of these guys ? well women tolerate that just like men tolerate the bichiness of some women if they are beautiful .
Bronson99
Well-known member
So you had a fake profile which proved your point.
Then the obvious suggestion is to emulate *some* aspects of this kind of desirable, masculine guy who gets attention. Get going with a high protein diet and highly disciplined workout routine. As you gain muscle in your biceps, make sure you have shirts that allow women to see this, this should help all-around, out in public as well as in online profiles. I don't believe in having pictures of yourself on a dating site with your shirt off, however, unless you live at least 100 miles away from your friends and family.
If a bad boy personality is not you, then it's not you, and shouldn't mislead women with that.. the idea is to exaggerate any decent quality you have, and minimize your unattractive qualities. Having some muscle tone, however slight, is better than none, and will get you more attention than you would otherwise.
Having said all this, I've not really been able to follow my own advice, because I find weightlifting to be the most boring and painstaking exercise in the world: I can't even make progress with dumbbell routines. I can't be bothered with changing my diet and don't want to eat more so I can gain bulk... so, that's my excuse anyway. One of these days I hope to find the motivation to change that, though.
Let me clarify that I don't believe simply working out will entitle you to anyone... the only thing I'm saying here is that it could *help* in some ways, there's no getting around the fact that fitness will help improve a guy's image, at least.
Kiwong
Well-known member
Not true, they can be extremely competitive, and they just love beating men, who can't handle it when a women beats them in a race.
Bronson99
Well-known member
There are NO leagues. Either start believing it or allow pessimistic thinking (whether or not it's realistic) to prevent you from making any progress, thus ensuring loneliness for the rest of your life. It's your choice to make, and mine as well. I don't think we have all the time in the world to put off the choice of optimism, anymore. Continue with depressive-realist thinking and face going nowhere, meeting no one, doing nothing.
I'm quite serious in this, as well. Things MUST change for me and I feel the first change to make is getting rid of negativity and thus to stop making assumptions about everyone, stop thinking women "ONLY want this or that", etc.
This might be different in a more communistic society... I suspect people wouldn't be as materialistic, either, which might lead to less entitlement and therefore better chances for people to find a significant other, etc.
Well I like how it sounds in theory, anyway.