Writer's block still persisting. Or is it ma depression, anxiety n' low confidence issues that are causing ma sudden block in creativity - or is it summit mair subconscious? Hmmm.... :thinking: Like fear... Fear of rejection, fear of being embarrassed. Y'know... the "Oh f**k, whit're they gonnae think uh me?" sydrome.
Mind you, ah think that wuz forced upon me by ma overprotective muther. Y'know the whole "Jist agree and keep the peace". Mibbe that's why ah play dumb tae those older than me, which is a lot easier when yer blessed wi' a handsome face like mine. But ye dinnae smile much - again, also me. And ah usually end up sayin' summit stupid or "funny" at some point. So tae keep that fae happenin', ah over-use the phrase "Ah don't know..." - which comes in handy fur most questions, by the way.
Ah know, am introverted. Buckin' great, innit?
As well as the cop-out expression: "[short pause] ... It doesnae matter. It's no' important" Because as y'know, bein' difference is frowned upon, especially in the drunken, racist, friendly culture ah grow up in. Not bein' intae sport or gan oot and gittin' shit-face drunk on the weekend. Ah know am borin'...
Hard tae live yer life when ye huv tae live up tae other folk expectations; it's harder living up tae yer own. As well as being labelled - be it; "weird", "anti-social", "freak", "stuck-up". Ooops! am jist rambling on - nae reason fur this post, really. As ye can probably see articulatin' ma thoughts doesnae come easy tae me and am usually wrong most of time. So, there ye go... Naebuddy perfect.