Och aye the noo

[Graeme1988]

Uhm... am no' sure whit tae talk aboot, really. :idontknow:

Ah mean ah wuz thinkin' last night and rememberin' a few stories fae ma high school days, afore ah went tae sleep. But maist uh them are, just, like, wee snap-shot moments of incidents. Some funny, some akward but, oddly, amusing, overall. Fae when ah wuz 14 until age 17 - when ah left high school.

Also, there wuz that long stay in Edinburgh Royal Hospital for Sick Children when ah hud that orthopedic surgery when ah wuz 14. Then the year before, ah wuz 13 years old - obviously - when Dumfries Royal Infirmary offered their solution to try and correct ma cerbral palsy.

^ Not sure if these stories are worth sharin' or not? Not that ah dinnae want tae tell them. Ah jist dinnae want tae risk borin' youse lot - social anxious, shy, introverted f**kers of various height, that ye are - tae death by me witterin' on for... a few hours.

Surprisingly, in real life, ah dinnae talk as much. Ah know... Gasp! What a shock! So ma raconteur, storytelling, reputation is really undeserved - but pretty ██kin' spot on, if am honest. But ah dinnae like tae brag aboot it. :bigsmile: Ah don't think am aw that funny, either. Ah mean - excluding ma previous posts over the last 3 days or so - when's the last time ah said anything remotely funny on here, eh?

 

[Kiwong]

Your stories are worth sharing, Graeme.

I don't like pre-sleep reminisces, they're usually embarrassing ones from Uni.

My Scottish a fail? My Sooth African is even dodgier, I'm telling you.

 

[Graeme1988]

Your stories are worth sharing, Graeme.

Really? They usually end in failure and me makin' a complete idiot uh masel'.

I don't like pre-sleep reminisces, they're usually embarrassing ones from Uni.

Eh, uhm... Am sayin' nuthin'. ::

My Scottish a fail? My Sooth African is even dodgier, I'm telling you.

:bigsmile: Yer Scottish isn't a fail? No, not at all. Think of it more like penalty kick that's hit the goal post. Tae use a football metaphor. Ye just made a noticable error with "noo" and "know".

It'd only be limited in the sense of the various regional dialect words around Scotland. In that some terms are universal as part of the Scots language - like "Aye"; "afore"; "efter" and "wee" - and huv been use since Robert Burns was alive. But certain words can be specific to a certain areas of central Scotland, like Glasgow.

 

[MikeyC]

Awright Mikey and Spring, ah'll explain it. Brace yerselves...

"Och aye" means "Oh, yes". And "the noo" mean "just now". Some Scots do say it, but when they do, it usually means "Awright". Either that, or they're takin' the piss oot uh how Scots are perceived stereotypically - huv ye no' seen the movie Braveheart. :bigsmile:

Basically "Och aye" and "the noo" are 2 seperate Scottish expression, rarely used together. An example of latter expression would if someone asked you if ye wanted something to eat and ye weren't hungry, ye would think aboot it, then say: "Eh, no' the noo" (Eh, not just now).

Wouldnae huv this translation problem if Google Translate included Scottish in their auto-detect languages. But they dinnae... the swines that they are!

So it basically means "alright, not now"? Haha, sort of?

 

[kilojoule]

^ Not sure if these stories are worth sharin' or not? Not that ah dinnae want tae tell them. Ah jist dinnae want tae risk borin' youse lot - social anxious, shy, introverted f**kers of various height, that ye are - tae death by me witterin' on for... a few hours.

Surprisingly, in real life, ah dinnae talk as much. Ah know... Gasp! What a shock! So ma raconteur, storytelling, reputation is really undeserved - but pretty ██kin' spot on, if am honest. But ah dinnae like tae brag aboot it. :bigsmile: Ah don't think am aw that funny, either. Ah mean - excluding ma previous posts over the last 3 days or so - when's the last time ah said anything remotely funny on here, eh?

Would be delighted to read anything you want to share. Write it definitely and if you feel comfortable with us reading it, share. If not we will understand thinking: will nag you when we cross that bridge lol) but def write it, you have the gift :thumbup:

 

[Graeme1988]

So it basically means "alright, not now"? Haha, sort of?

Aye, that's pretty much it. It's an amalgamation that doesnae make sense. Since it's nonsensical. :bigsmile: Sorry, ah don't know why Scots have a habit of unintentionally state the obvious, sometimes. The attention to detail...

Usually Scots use "Och aye the noo" as a informal greeting amoungst each other, sometime but not often. As a way of sayin' "Hullo". basically. While at the same time, knowingly parodying the Scots dialect. Great, innit?

 

[Graeme1988]

Would be delighted to read anything you want to share. Write it definitely and if you feel comfortable with us reading it, share. If not we will understand thinking: will nag you when we cross that bridge lol) but def write it, you have the gift :thumbup:

Naw, ah'll share the stories. Since they still make me laugh noo, in retrospect. Just please dinnae be offended if ah quote masel' sayin' summit apparently sexist when ah talk aboot the lassies that fancied me in ma teens years. Y'know what folk are like noo, takin' offence at comedy.

Anyway, ah git on it - like a housewife on a wash machine. Anybuddy offended yet? Don't worry, we'll soon find your f**kin' limit. :sarcastic:

 

[Graeme1988]

^ Aye - that'll be f██kin' right...

Ah huv'nae been daein' too well, lately. Been feelin' depressed as ████ lately. Nae real idea why, summit must be botherin' me. :thinking: But, tae be honest, ah cannae be arsed figurin' it oot. Ah wuz actually thinkin' aboot droppin' the whole "writin' ma Scotch dialect routine" on here? No' coz am sick o' it. Jist startin' tae feel self-conscious aboot it. Y'know... Standin' oot like a Pope in f██kin' Nazi uniform (Dinnae laugh that wuz'nae even funny. Seriously, stop it) Though, ah don't think ah'll stop writin' the accent, since ah've gotten too use tae it.

Right, am offski... Don't worry, ah've no' forgot them stories. Just gimme a day tae git over this depressive episode. Ah'll be fine. Honestly...

 

[kilojoule]

I hope you're feelin better soon

 

[Graeme1988]

I hope you're feelin better soon

Feelin' a wee bit better.... Still a bit depressed. :sad:

Ah'll git some stories telt soon. Y'know them stories where every single detail is important? Ah tell these kinda stories. Also, there's no' necessarily funny. Or mibbe it's jist ma lack uh confidence in masel'. :shyness:

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah suppose ah should try n' drag masel' oot uh this depression ah've hud fur mair than 3 days noo.

See families, why is the oldest sibling always, always, always thinks their always right aboot everythin' n' know everythin'. Coz they, eh... don't! No insight here... Other than what it's been like growin' up wi' 2 sisters in a dyfunctional family. Am the "sensible" sibling, apparently, because ah shut ma gob, dinnae start or take sides in an argument. But then, as the youngest, ye git used tae be ignored, and laughed at, talked down tae, in ma experience.

If ah could disown the feekin' lot, ah would. Well, wi' the exception uh ma muther and a few cousins - since they're a f**kin' laugh despite their flaws. Sorry, just sayin' what ah cannae bring masel' tae say tae ma ain family.

 

[Graeme1988]

Anyway, ah might as well tell youse a wee short true story fae ma past. Ye might laugh hysterically, ye might cry. Or ye might puke yer guts oot - ah say aw that because there's a slightly graphic description of a wound ah suffered when ah wuz 13...

Ah'll explain... So, a year efter ah wuz telt by the doctors at Dumfries Royal Infirmary that ma cerebral palsy would git worse as ah got older, they'd suggested tryin' tae correct some of the issues ah wuz huvin' with ma walkin', by puttin' a full plaster cast on ma right leg. Since it was the side more noticable affect by ma condition - even though, ma left foot also turned in a bit. Also, the responsibility for making my walkin' splints (gettin' the molds of ma legs covered in plaster) hud been moved fae Edinburgh to Dumfries. Since it wuz a shorter journey to travel - living in the Dumfries and Galloway region of Scotland, anyway.

So, ah agree tae huv this effin' full cast pit on ma right leg for a few weeks. Which occasionally got itchy, but wuz'nae really a bother. Other than huvin' tae gan up n' doon the stairs on ma arse from ma bedroom. That's wuz awkward, mainly coz of the small spiral staircase.

But it wuz the time ah got it off, ah can still remember. The wummin who cut the cast off wuz this fat, chubby-faced wummin wi' curly hair n' glasses. Nae strange tae a fish supper, if y'know whit ah mean... Wouldnae be too surprised if she wuz on first name terms. :sarcastic:

Anyway, what these effin' numpty doctors hud when makin' the full cast wuz use too plaster - detail those f**kers overlooked. Now... - this might git a wee bit graphic - once they cut up the cast up the middle wi' the saw. Ma mum hawdin' ma hand tightly through that part. They then, slowly, started tae remove it. But, it hud gotten stuck tae ma knee - like it wuz ███kin' grafted on Ye see where this is gan, aye?

Well, ah let oot a helluva scream: "Owyab@$t@RD! Sorry, that wuz bloody sore" Next thing, ah look doon, and there - at the top right-hand side uh ma right knee cap is a small hole. Nae bigger than a 5p coins or roughly that size.

And there's blood, and yella puse spewing fae it. Ugh! Ah think am gonnae boak.

. So the wound gits a dressin' on it, and ah'll limp oot uh the hospital on 2 crutches. Git intae ma oldest sister's car and explain the whole ordeal.

She gits pissed off, quite rightly, and suggest suing the ███ts. We didnae huv the money tae cover that. Plus the whole suing over medical negligence wuz'nae as popular as it is now in the UK. Y'know them injury lawyer commercials ye see on the telly? Usually it's some ███t suing their place of work because neglected tae take any notice of the "Caution: Wet Floor" sign

Though, in retrospect, ah should've sued the b@$t@RDs. :kickingmyself:

 

[MollyBeGood]

Aw hey I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Damn depression is so overwhelming sometimes. I am trying to just roll with it anymore. I know my is situational but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Like if I could pay my bills and eat regularly I wouldn't feel this much like sh*t all the time. The stress of daily living is overwhelmingly depressing!

What a crazy story about your cast and a hole in your knee cap, which I guess I still don't completely understand how it got there?...But OUCH! You must have a seriously high pain tolerance! You have been through so much stuff, Graeme, I hate that for you.

Any of the new meds helping you feel better?

 

[Graeme1988]

Aw hey I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Damn depression is so overwhelming sometimes. I am trying to just roll with it anymore.

Aye, ah um feelin' better - we'll see how long it lasts. Ma family will no doubt say summit tae annoy me or piss me off, or git a reaction oot uh me. Coz whenever ah open ma mouth tae speak, laughter soon follows

I know my is situational but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Like if I could pay my bills and eat regularly I wouldn't feel this much like sh*t all the time. The stress of daily living is overwhelmingly depressing!

Ah know what ye mean. We've aw got daily life tae deal with. As depressin' and overwhelming as it is, sometimes...

What a crazy story about your cast and a hole in your knee cap, which I guess I still don't completely understand how it got there?...But OUCH!

Ah know... But ah do think the hole in ma knee cap was due to the plaster sticking to ma knee. Am guessin' they used too much plaster when making the cast. At least, that would explain why it didnae come off, easily. Hobbling aboot on crutches took some gittin' use tae.

You must have a seriously high pain tolerance! You have been through so much stuff, Graeme, I hate that for you.

Well, ah'd huv tae huv a seriously high pain tolerance tae endure orthopedic surgery, age 14, and another full cast on ma right leg. A year after that disaster wi' that other full cast. But ah'll git tae that story soon. There's actually an inappropriately funny - or darkly humourous, dependin' on yer sense uh humour - moment during ma stay in Edinburgh Royal Hospital for Sick Children - relating to the ward I was on, after ah hud the surgery.

Any of the new meds helping you feel better?

Meds didnae really help me feel better. Tae be honest, they made things worse. Also, the medication ah got fur ma muscle spasms in ma legs gave me mouth ulcers. So ah've stopped takin' 'em.

 

[Graeme1988]

Am I wrong for getting offended at racist jokes? :idontknow: Just ah feel slightly unnerved by 'em. Mibbe am bein' overly sensitive... Or mibbe it's more due tae being mixed race. Merely pondering here... It's no' easy growing up in a mixed race family. Or, at least, it huz'nae been fur me.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah don't know if ah should tell ye aboot that other hospital visit tae Edinburgh when ah wuz 14? Mind you, it is funny... :bigsmile:

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Am I wrong for getting offended at racist jokes? :idontknow: Just ah feel slightly unnerved by 'em. Mibbe am bein' overly sensitive... Or mibbe it's more due tae being mixed race. Merely pondering here... It's no' easy growing up in a mixed race family. Or, at least, it huz'nae been fur me.

Pretending racism doesn’t exist won’t make it go away – Quartz

The common thread here is that we have reached a point in our culture where it is generally (but not universally) acknowledged that making disparaging remarks about people of other races, cultures, heritages or lifestyles is unacceptable. But we haven’t reached the milestone where people actually refrain from making them. They just make them in private. Or they make them in a context that’s leavened by humor. Or they make them, as Nourigat’s cartoon so aptly highlights, while simultaneously denying that the statements reflect something essential about their actual attitudes and beliefs.

 

[Graeme1988]

Pretending racism doesn’t exist won’t make it go away – Quartz

That the sad true, Nathaniel. But naebuddy want tae actually acknowledge that fact, or feel uncomfortable about it.

Anyway, ah'll say more on that issue later. By the way, as a disabled, mixed race person which of these terms is more offensive. Me being called "Wheechair Man" because I use a wheechair or me "jokingly" being called a "suicide bomber" on account of ma brown skin and beard? By the way, anybuddy can answer ma question there. Also, that's spoiler alert for when I went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival back in 2009.

Right now, ah might as well tell ye aboot that week long stay in Edinburgh Royal Royal Hospital for Sick Children when ah wuz 14. So, ah agree tae get this othopedic surgery coz ma doctor who gave me regular yearly check ups, Mr Robb, recommended the surgery.

Basically, they decided tae got wi' the right leg since that side was more noticably affected by ma cerebral palsy. So, they cut ma right leg open, lengthen ma calf muscle and hamstrings. And before ah went under ah remember talkin' about music coz ah jist started learning the guitar. Vaguely recall sayin' summit aboot Deep Purple and Nirvana before going under. Then they set ma right leg in a full plaster cast. Which ah decided should be blue. The colour of the Scottish saltire flag, And the Glasgow Rangers football kit. :bigsmile:

Anyway, ah come to and am being wheeled intae ma wee room. Am in yin uh them beds wi' the remote control so ye can sit yersel' up and lay yersel' doon. Nae idea why ah mentioned that. Though, it did come in handy when huvin' ma meals. Which were awright, not top quality but ye could eat 'em withoot worryin' ye were gan tae catch summit. The full plaster cast wuz itchy anaw. Ah remember ma mum brought in a big knittin' needle just so ah could scratch ma leg. :bigsmile:

Speakin' of ma mum, ah remember one particular visit, where she'd stay to watch an episode of The Simpsons with me. Ah hud this wee TV which got a few channels. And The Simpsons had recently started be broadcast by Channel 4 in the UK. Anyway, it was that episode where Lisa realises she fancies Nelson Muntz. Y'know that one? Well, there's a moment in that episode where Nelson, havin' got a beehive out of a tree with a garden rake, shouts to Groundkeeper Willie: "Hey Willie catch the football" and throws it. And Willie goes: "Awright!" and run out of frame, then cuts to a shot Lisa smiling at Nelson as Willie screams.

Well, I was in hysterics, howlin' with laughter, tears in ma eyes. But my laughs come to abrupt stop when ma mum quietly tells me: "Graeme - yer on the terminally ill patients ward" Hahaha - ooh! Ah then go: "Really? Kids wi' cancer n' that, aye?" Ma mum just nods, and turn tae ma right, and whisper: "Sorry..." And I'm sit quietly for a moment. Then ah say this: "Surely me laughin' is the least uh their worries? Huv they no' seen Patch Adams" :sarcastic: Ah know, wrong on so many levels... Shouldnae laugh.

The rehab wuz hellish, left tae ma ain devices. Nae physio. And ah wuz on painkiller that made huv lucid dreams and talk in ma sleep. Hallucinations. Imagine if David Lynch directed that movie adaptation of Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting. Am glad ah never gee intae that peer uh takin' drugs as teenager...

Wuz a bit odd gan back tae secondary school after the summer holidays in a wheelchair. Just folk staring at ye, comin' up n' askin' what happened. Which ah never understood that, why go up tae disabled person and enquire such a personal question like that? As if it affects the person askin' the question. Ah used tae git that as a kid as well: "Why do you walk like that?" Stupidly ah'd answer the question - despite it being intrusive as f██k. Though, it never led tae anyone want tae be friends wi' me, not that I expected that much.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Ah don't know if ah should tell ye aboot that other hospital visit tae Edinburgh when ah wuz 14? Mind you, it is funny... :bigsmile:

do tell!


Hey, have you seen this doc? It's great lots of laughs about hecklers of comedians.


Heckler - Part 1 - YouTube

 

[Graeme1988]

do tell!

Done, and done. Read ma previous long post. Though, was the Patch Adams reference in bad taste? Mind you, it's a great biopic movie - and one of Robin Williams' best, in ma opinion.

Hey, have you seen this doc? It's great lots of laughs about hecklers of comedians.

Heckler - Part 1 - YouTube

Aye, ah've seen before. But I'm sure it'll stand-up to repeat viewing. Crap unintentional pun there. Anyway, ah need a laugh....