My life is ruined and I am confused....

M

misssunshine101

Member
I was searching the internet with tears in my eyes and was astonished at how well this forum members understand one another. I am in my 30s and leading a single lonely life. With some tragic life events I realized that the family members that I loved and trusted betrayed me. I still have my parents by my side and I live with them. But they are old and clueless.

After the tragic event, I have been trying to hold onto a job but I just fail at doing it. I am home bound, cannot drive without gasping for breath and cannot think of traveling or staying alone.

I dont want to take meds as I have been on them in past and they make life miserable, want to keep myself away from med addictions.

I am well educated and a hard worker, not lazy. But I am currently very depressed and hurt and dejected and feel like giving up.

My parents don't know how to help me...I fear of losing them . What will happen to me if I lose either or both of them( which is inevitable)? But I fear it so much that I do not want them to go out , as if i can prevent anything from happening to them.

So I am currently jobless( don't think I can ever work again), single, depressed and without any friends at all.I even get suicidal thoughts now and then.I feel sick at the moment....please help!
 
Last edited:
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
Welcome to the forum:).

Now, don't be willing to give up just yet. The first thing you're going to need to do is face your demons so that you can restart gaining some independence. Look around for some therapy offices and see if you can set up an appointment. From there, you're going to reacquaint yourself with being comfortable to drive. Everything else should fall into place:).

Don't worry, you're going to be alright, so don't give up just yet:thumbup:.
 
M

misssunshine101

Member
I am stuck in a situation where I have to fend for myself by trying to once again look for a job that I will eventually hate and maybe get kicked out off , but make some money or stay in my bed and do nothing and no money. I would love to do some independent work and have some wonderful business ideas but my financial restrictions do not let me establish it. I am clueless about how to go ahead with my life from here. I am avoiding the docs as I do not want to go on meds and where I live I have not come across a good therapist who does his work for passion and not for money.
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
misssunshine101 said:
I was searching the internet with tears in my eyes and was astonished at how well this forum members understand one another. I am in my 30s and leading a single lonely life. With some tragic life events I realized that the family members that I loved and trusted betrayed me. I still have my parents by my side and I live with them. But they are old and clueless.

After the tragic event, I have been trying to hold onto a job but I just fail at doing it. I am home bound, cannot drive without gasping for breath and cannot think of traveling or staying alone.

I dont want to take meds as I have been on them in past and they make life miserable, want to keep myself away from med addictions.

I am well educated and a hard worker, not lazy. But I am currently very depressed and hurt and dejected and feel like giving up.

My parents don't know how to help me...I fear of losing them . What will happen to me if I lose either or both of them( which is inevitable)? But I fear it so much that I do not want them to go out , as if i can prevent anything from happening to them.

So I am currently jobless( don't think I can ever work again), single, depressed and without any friends at all.I even get suicidal thoughts now and then.I feel sick at the moment....please help!
Click to expand...

Hey there! Welcome to the forum.

I can surely relate a lot to giving up, being lonely, depressed, etc.

I´m sorry you were betrayed by family members. I have very little contact with family in general. Many of them are people that I´ve never met, because my parents didn´t introduce them to me/didn´t have contact.
And then there are some relatives that I tried contacting but things didn´t work out. I was also betrayed by some of them. The way you describe it, sounds like you went something very hard?

I was on meds when I was much younger, but after a couple of years on different meds, I decided that it wasn´t for me, because I think there are too many side-effects and I prefer working with myself in therapy without the use of meds.
But I´m sure you could find a good therapist - keep looking for a good one. I have been in different kinds of therapy and I´ve had good experiences and horrible experiences. More horrible experiences than good though. (Right now I´m seeing a really good therapist.)

You are well educated and a hard worker - sounds good! It might do you good to focus more on what you would LIKE to do for work, rather than being hard working.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
If you are so depressed now, are you sure that not taking meds is a good idea? They had adverse side-effects in the past, but are they worse than dragging yourself through misery?

I obviously don't know what the "tragic event" is, but it sounds quite serious. It may seem like it's still raw in your heart, if it didn't happen too long ago. Perhaps you just need time to heal from whatever happened, and once that's done you can start rebuilding what you had.

Have you considered a psychologist? Maybe talking out these things to a professional might help you gain some answers on where to go from here.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. There's a way out, but sometimes it's shrouded in fog.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Depression seems to be a big part of your situation right now. maybe you could take advantage of all this free time to try and get rid of it.

If you browse the depression section of the forum (or the forum in general), you will find some good information about how to improve your mood and overcome depression without meds, and it doesn't cost any money. You just need some patience and commitment.

I think once you get rid of depression, you won't have the same view on your situation anymore, and your options will appear clearer.
 
1

123456switch

Member
Hello MissSunshine. I think I might be the male version of you. You are definitely not alone in your thoughts.

I don't take meds either. Healthy diet and exercising regularly kind of helps. I recommend it. Also try having no expectations of the world and becoming indifferent in as many ways as possible. I'm trying not to care so much personally. Maybe we're depressed because we care too much and have too many expectations. Just go with the flow, like water. Be like Jesus or Buddha and just accept and embrace, and be the best person you can be. Living well is the best revenge.
 
N

nicole1

Well-known member
You should look into applying for benefits. Also, work at home programs. There are some legitimate ones. If you are hard working, I believe you can make it work.
 
M

misssunshine101

Member
Thanks everyone for replying.

@MikeyC: I have been on med before and it did help but it also helped me gain weight and again I believe pills mask depression and do not cure it. Off course, its my observation and not a medical advice.

@Pacific loner :
"Depression seems to be a big part of your situation right now. maybe you could take advantage of all this free time to try and get rid of it"

I am too confused to take advantage of the free time (please I will appreciate any ideas of making full use of this free time). I spend my day on front of a laptop. I do go to the gym every evening but that is pretty much it.

@123456switch: I really need to take your advice 'to not care much' seriously. need to work towards it, yes I care a lot about everyone and everything. Love the last statement.

@nicole1: I am hard working but too depressed.Work at home programs are something i need to look into but I also feel it will limit my social ability, not that I have much social life now, but when I was a normal person, I loved being out and about.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
misssunshine101 said:
Thanks everyone for replying.

@MikeyC: I have been on med before and it did help but it also helped me gain weight and again I believe pills mask depression and do not cure it. Off course, its my observation and not a medical advice.

@Pacific loner :
"Depression seems to be a big part of your situation right now. maybe you could take advantage of all this free time to try and get rid of it"

I am too confused to take advantage of the free time (please I will appreciate any ideas of making full use of this free time). I spend my day on front of a laptop. I do go to the gym every evening but that is pretty much it.

@123456switch: I really need to take your advice 'to not care much' seriously. need to work towards it, yes I care a lot about everyone and everything. Love the last statement.

@nicole1: I am hard working but too depressed.Work at home programs are something i need to look into but I also feel it will limit my social ability, not that I have much social life now, but when I was a normal person, I loved being out and about.
Click to expand...

i too have gained weight with meds, and i do agree it can mask depression more than solve it, however it can still help depression not overwhelm you during your pursuit to overcome it. so it's not all bad, and can be of benefit.

i don't really know of much ways to help you spend your free time, since i battle with the same problem, but i think human interaction, no matter how limited or small at first, is the best thing. so try to involve yourself with others (you're comfortable with) as much as possible.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
misssunshine101 said:
@Pacific loner :
"Depression seems to be a big part of your situation right now. maybe you could take advantage of all this free time to try and get rid of it"

I am too confused to take advantage of the free time (please I will appreciate any ideas of making full use of this free time). I spend my day on front of a laptop. I do go to the gym every evening but that is pretty much it.
Click to expand...

I can give you ideas on how to use your free time to get rid of depression, but of course you take and leave what you want, since these are the things that works for me but not necessarly for you.

Going to the gym everyday is a great thing to do.

Other than that, try to get up early and go to bed early to have as much sunshine as possible and still get enough sleep. Jogging or biking are both good ways to take advantage of the sun and fresh air while doing exercice. AVOID the computer. I mean don't spend hours on it. don't start your day in front of it. You'll get depressed.

Read, write, go on an adventure, learn to play the guitar, learn how to paint, take dance, djembe or knitting lessons, whatever you like, get new skills, take an online class, do some volunteering, help your parents around the house, put adds to offer your service as a babysitter or whatever, etc, and of course keep looking for jobs.

And let's be annoying one more time with the following advice that I keep repeating over and over: Be careful with what you put in your stomach. There are things in the food they sell at the grocery store that create biochemical reactions in your body and brain and can cause depression, brain fog and even mental illness. For more info, you can search for articles about depression, anxiety, brain fog or mood swing VS sugar, processed food, gluten intolerance and lactose intolerance.

Sorry for the long post.
 
W

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
Umm... I don't know. If you hate meds... would taking Vit. B12 help atleast? I read depressed people's testimonies about taking this. Though I admit I'm not a medical expert but atleast it's not addictive drugs. But I think you need more support from your family and friends.
 
skins

skins

1
please don't be so quick to dismiss the meds and not give them another shot....most people's fear of them is that they are addictive, however I have found the meds I have used for extended periods it was quite easy get off them in a few short weeks when my mood was better. It might be what gets you over the line to land a job as it seems things just aren't working for you with the mentality you currently exhibit. Don't get me wrong it is more ideal to face life without meds but sometimes we just need that helping hand to get us through tough periods...don't be afraid, they will not grip hold of you for ever like a lot of people will believe. maybe just look at a diff type then the last one that made you gain weight.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Do you have any friends? Well, you will here. If possible, try to meet some of the members from this group that live in your area.
Stay strong, things will get better.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top