Mind of Malice

[MaliceInWickedland]

I know, I know… please excuse the blatantly insipid abomination of a title I have lazily given to this thread. At least until my ingenious *cough hack cough* imagination spews forth a witty and fabulous title to take its place.

Onward to the billion dollar question of the century: do you know what time it is?

...It’s time to jump on the band wagon!

Ah yes… I can already hear everyone’s moans and groans… Absolute music to my ears~♫

So as all of you wonderful people can see, I am SPW’s millionth user to start her own journal here for all of you poor souls to stumble upon in either morbid curiosity or in the midst of their sheer and utter boredom. It’s a miracle you even made it to this sentence... Congratulations! You are now about a quarter of a lightyear away from freedom! Here, have a cookie to sate your gradually depleting sanity as you read further into this world of never ending madness:

Well, on a more serious note (and as I’m sure you have all noticed by now) I’ve been on quite a clusterf*** of an emotional rollercoaster as of late. Of course, being the reserved person I am, I lack the cognitive ability to openly express my feelings properly, and what better way to express myself than by starting a journal of my own here?

Aside from being able to express myself more openly (at the risk of melting all of your brains in the process) I can put more work into enhancing my journalism skills. I am an aspiring writer after all. I have to learn to put my feelings into words properly sooner or later, right?

Anyhow, I’m hoping this’ll do me some good and help me get all this accumulating crap off my chest before I go on emotional overload and have my head explode like that one guy in Scanners. No idea what I'm talking about? Well then here is a link to a nicely detailed video of it for your convenience:

Scanners (1981) Head Explosion Shot - YouTube

Doesn't it just blow your mind?

Ahem well... let's see... what to talk about…? Pffffft! What the furry umbrella-carrying kangaroos am I saying?? I know just as much as you do that there is a brontosaur's butt load to talk about. I just simply don’t know where to begin…

Well, I guess that concludes my first journal entry. Expect more long and cringe-worthy posts within the next few days. With that in mind, be sure to have a cup of *insert potent alcoholic beverage here* in hand the next time you decide to click on this ungodly thread at your own risk.

Right-o then. I think I’ve melted your brains enough as it is so… *Pats self on head* “That’ll do pig.”

Malice out~

 

[MikeyC]

I am an aspiring writer after all.

That's awesome! I hope you eventually get something published. I wouldn't mind writing a novel of my own but I don't have the motivation. What are you gong to be writing?

Tomorrow… well... TODAY (since it’s already past midnight here) is gonna be quite a sucky day with my LensCrafters appointment and all so expect a page’s worth or ranting and raving tomorrow.

I'm assuming that's something to do with your eyes? The appointment? Sounds awful.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

GOod cookies *nom nom* that shall keep me coming back!

Love scanner clip. And... it's good to have a journal - not keep stuff in, and also work as a writer you are very talented and enjoyable to read. I myself am an aspiring writer or was. Funny how can get off that due to our issues and such emotional rollercoasters and NOT write. A journal can be greatly fun and creative yours was already a blast to read, and I DON'T MEAN MY HEAD!

My brain's not melted after reading through your first post! I must have a titanium skull and Kevlar scalp! But it's been "scanned" already and went kaplewy long ago so there was no danger there

Have fun at lenscrafters!

 

[kilojoule]

bahahaha yay I look forward to reading this

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm looking forward to reading this too.

Good luck at your lovely eye doctor appt.!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

That's awesome! I hope you eventually get something published. I wouldn't mind writing a novel of my own but I don't have the motivation. What are you gong to be writing?

I'm assuming that's something to do with your eyes? The appointment? Sounds awful.

Thanks, so do I. Yeah I'm not gonna lie, writing is very time consuming and it's pretty easy to lose motivation (especially when writer's block hits you). But the wonderful thing is that you get so into it that you don't even realize how much time is passing by as you write and the more you do it, the more you enjoy it. I'm working on a novel right now. Kind of a dark one. I'd rather not give any details just yet though as it is still a work in progress, but so far so good

Yepp, they do eye exams there. I hate it because the very first test they do is the eye pressure one where they randomly blow a puff of air into each eye twice to measure your eye pressure. I'm really squeamish when it comes to my eyes so I always have a hard time keeping my eyes open until the air is blown into my eye. It really sucks >__<

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Thanks, so do I. Yeah I'm not gonna lie, writing is very time consuming and it's pretty easy to lose motivation (especially when writer's block hits you). But the wonderful thing is that you get so into it that you don't even realize how much time is passing by as you write and the more you do it, the more you enjoy it. I'm working on a novel right now. Kind of a dark one. I'd rather not give any details just yet though as it is still a work in progress, but so far so god

Yepp, they do eye exams there. I hate it because the very first test they do is the eye pressure one where they randomly blow a puff of air into each eye twice to measure your eye pressure. I'm really squeamish when it comes to my eyes so I always have a hard time keeping my eyes open until the air is blown into my eye. It really sucks >__<

Then, I hope, one day, you can tell us all about your work-in-progress; I know I'd like to hear about it. Maybe, one day, you can get some of your stuff published and have it become a smash hit!

I don't know what to say to you about your eye exams but this: Well, rather a moment of discomfort than an eternity of blindness, right? Just think of it that way and the discomfort should dissipate. Or maybe your eyes will get used to it; either way, it should turn out all right!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Thanks for checking out my journal everyone! Glad to hear you guys are liking it so far

Today was quite an interesting day. Lots of things happened (I actually had to break up my journal entry because it turned out to be so long <__<)

For starters, my appointment at Lenscrafters went better than expected. I got a lovely new pair of frames and sunglasses that I totally dig. Most of the exams scared the living crap out of me as I'm very sensitive when it comes to my eyes. You should have seen me when they had to do the eye pressure test, which is the first (and worst) test they do where they blow a puff of air into both eyes twice. I kept flinching before the air was even blown into my eyes and it took like five minutes to finally finish my first eye. Thankfully the examiner was really nice and patient and she even offered to help keep my eyelids open (which only made it scarier for me xP).

Overall, there's nothing wrong with my eyes. Everything is in good health and there aren't any abnormalities. The only thing that was pointed out was my high eye pressure. I wasn't surprised to hear that though since glaucoma runs in the family. My grandmother had it and my mother more than likely has it. I asked the doctor if it might have anything to do with my anxiety, which she said that it could be a contributing factor, but it's more than likely the genetics that is causing it. Oh well. I'm not going to worry about it either way. I'm a healthy girl even though I have a lot of sickness and disease running in the family so I'm grateful for that.

After the appointment, we (my mom and I) went out to eat, did some errands, went to put gas, Oh! Speaking of which, when we stopped by the gas station there was a rack of movies that had adult movies featured. Pretty inappropriate for a gas station right? But here's the real kicker: each movie was labeled individually according to race. It was so hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing! I just had to get a picture of it to show you guys. Check it out:

Segregated porn anyone?

I'm debating on whether or not I should submit the picture to Tosh.0. Does Tosh even accept pictures, or just videos? Either way I think it would be a hit. It's just too brilliant xD

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

So after seeing the segregated porn *snort giggle snort*, we stopped by Starbucks for some coffee. The bartender was pretty cute, but good lord was he an airhead! I asked for two light Caramel Frappuccinos, both with whipped cream, and gave him my name. He writes it down on two grande cups, starts making the drinks, and then right away calls out "Two grande Mocha Frappuccinos without whipped cream for Marissa!"

I look around to see if anyone makes a move to get the coffee, and when no one does I look at the drinks in confusion and wonder if they're mine. I approach them, look them over, and sure enough they're Mocha Frapps, both without whipped cream. In other words, totally not what I ordered.

The guy notices my confusion and asks if there's a problem. Yeah there's a problem. First of all, my name isn't Marissa (even though it rhymes with it). Second of all, how the bloody hell do you get Light Caramel Frappuccino mixed with Mocha Frappuccino when they're two completely different things?? Third of all, what part of "yes I want whipped cream" is so difficult to comprehend??

Of course, being the Awkward Alice that I am, I can't speak up for myself and my mom is the one who has to tell the guy that he completely screwed up our order. The guy apologizes and makes us some new drinks for free, so something good at least came out of this. It really peeved me though because I spoke pretty firmly and clearly while ordering and I sure as hell don't have an accent. I am a natural born citizen of the US after all.

I just can't figure out what it is that made him completely screw up. Did I say something wrong? Was he spaced out? Was he not paying attention? Was he on some sort of medication or drug? Or is he simply just an airhead? It can't be that it was too loud in there that he couldn't hear me since it was practically empty save a preoccupied couple and an elder man. Whatever the case, it was pretty awkward and annoying. Oh well.. at least we got two free drinks~ (>^.^)> <(^.^<)

So after that we sat around for a while, sipping our coffee, and then had to stop by Staples really quick to get some storage boxes in preparation for our move. While there, I had a bit of an accident...

There was a really attractive guy around my age working there who was restocking stuff and as I was pushing the cart along nearby, our eyes met. He was about 6 feet tall, had semi-long light brown hair, and had the most amazing green eyes I've ever seen. They were like a bright emerald color. I just could not pry my eyes away from him. Of course, reality came crashing (literally) down up on me in the midst of my daydreaming as I rammed my cart right into a shelf full of school supplies...

I was so embarrassed! ::

It was pretty busy at the time and there were plenty of people around who were staring at me like I was a total dumbass. What embarrassed me the most was the way the guy smiled at me when I crashed. It wasn't a smug smile or anything. He looked really amused and he was kind of laughing. Doh! Why do I always have to make a complete ass out of myself in front of hot guys?? >__<

Anyway, I quickly started picking up stuff from the floor and the guy came over to help me. That's when I saw his name tag: Nathan. That just happens to be one of my favorite male names too. Is this fate? :: pfftofcourseitisn'tyou'rejustoveranalyzingeverythingagainyouhopelessromantic.
So I apologized and he said it was alright and that he would take care of it. I was too embarrassed to stick around so I just took off and tried to calm my nerves. That wasn't the last I saw of Nathan though. With my luck, he was the one who rung us up at the register. He couldn't stop laughing about what I did and my mom wouldn't let me hear the end of it when we got into the car. She practically made fun of me the entire trip back home -__-

Ugh... well, at least I made Nathan laugh. He had a really sexy laugh too...

*Sigh* Well anyhow, that was my day so far. I doubt anything else interesting is gonna happen now that I'm home, sitting here on my lazy ass in front of the computer as always.

Alrighty well that's all for now. I hope you guys at least got a few laughs out of my random day (and stupidity) ::

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Holy pr0n segregation, Batman!!

I would have crapped myself, seriously. XD so funny!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Holy pr0n segregation, Batman!!

I would have crapped myself, seriously. XD so funny!

I was about ready to! My mom and I were laughing ourselves to tears. It was too funny. I mean really, a gas station of all places?? xD

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Maybe our "airhead"'s head was in the clouds after looking at you; as a male, I can say there have been multiple times when I acted like my brain went on vacation and never came back::. Also, don't feel embarrased about your little "screw-up," some guys like the dojikko. It's kinda cute when a girl gets entranced by you and does something clumsy. To make you feel better, here are you things you can enjoy!

Fergie - Clumsy - YouTube

and

Nathan Drake

 

[Phoenixx]

Segregated porn! Ha! XD

How can you manage to look at cute guys in the eyes anyway? I never do. I see them and then I avoid their gaze like the plague. And if they talk to me (once in a blue moon) I just stutter all the time, so yeah. I make myself look retarded too.

I gotta admit, I love the relationship you have with your mom. That's great.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Maybe our "airhead"'s head was in the clouds after looking at you; as a male, I can say there have been multiple times when I acted like my brain went on vacation and never came back Also, don't feel embarrased about your little "screw-up," some guys like the dojikko. It's kinda cute when a girl gets entranced by you and does something clumsy. To make you feel better, here are you things you can enjoy!

Fergie - Clumsy - YouTube

and

Nathan Drake

Haha I really doubt it. That guy looked totally spaced out since we had barely walked in ::

Really now? I don't think that was the case though. He seemed like a really friendly guy so he just probably felt bad and tried to lighten the mood since I tend to make my embarrassment very obvious through my facial expressions and posture.

Hahaha thanks for that. That sure cheered me up
Uncharted!!!!! Woooo~

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Segregated porn! Ha! XD

How can you manage to look at cute guys in the eyes anyway? I never do. I see them and then I avoid their gaze like the plague. And if they talk to me (once in a blue moon) I just stutter all the time, so yeah. I make myself look retarded too.

I gotta admit, I love the relationship you have with your mom. That's great.

*Immature fit of giggles*

I honestly don't know how I managed to do it. I'm usually the same and avoid their gaze but for some reason I couldn't avert my eyes from him. It was like our eyes were glued to each other. Usually I look away whenever I get the feeling that a guy is judging me or is looking at me in a certain way that makes me uncomfortable. It was different with this guy though because he didn't give me any bad vibes. He had a nice aura about him and I could tell from the way he was looking at me that he was friendly, so it didn't make me all insecure and stuff. At least until I crashed and made myself look like a total idiot in front of him ::

Haha yeah my mom is cool and all but she sure knows how to make me feel like an idiot sometimes. Now I know where I get my cruel sense of humor from <.<

 

[MikeyC]

Do you think you'll go back and talk to Nathan again? If he was as cute as you say he is, then I hope you try to. He might be between relationships - his ex and you.

I like the racially-tagged pornography, too. They look bootlegged. Not going near those ever!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Do you think you'll go back and talk to Nathan again? If he was as cute as you say he is, then I hope you try to. He might be between relationships - his ex and you.

I like the racially-tagged pornography, too. They look bootlegged. Not going near those ever!

Maybe... I don't want to make it seem like I went back just to see him though. I rarely ever go to Staples so he might catch on to that. Besides, a guy that attractive is more than likely taken, unless by some godly miracle he isn't. Well.. at least next time I'll be sure not to be pushing around any carts ::

Oh most definitely. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some weird fetish stuff in there, like chicken orgies ---> LMFAO Weirdy xD

 

[MikeyC]

Maybe... I don't want to make it seem like I went back just to see him though. I rarely ever go to Staples so he might catch on to that. Besides, a guy that attractive is more than likely taken, unless by some godly miracle he isn't. Well.. at least next time I'll be sure not to be pushing around any carts ::

Oh most definitely. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some weird fetish stuff in there, like chicken orgies ---> LMFAO Weirdy xD

If you're really keen on him, though, would it hurt to ask? I know, easier said than done - if that was me with a hot girl I'd probably do nothing - but it just might be worth pursuing if you like. Of course, you might just be treating it as one of those nice moments you share with someone - I wouldn't want to ask out every attractive girl I see!

If chickens were involved...ugh, nah, don't wanna know! *puts fingers in ears and shouts "la la la la la la la la la!"*

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

My ears are burning!!

What?! Chicken fetish? I don't have that!
Stop slandering my good name with your blatant delicious lies, Malice! ::

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

If you're really keen on him, though, would it hurt to ask? I know, easier said than done - if that was me with a hot girl I'd probably do nothing - but it just might be worth pursuing if you like. Of course, you might just be treating it as one of those nice moments you share with someone - I wouldn't want to ask out every attractive girl I see!

If chickens were involved...ugh, nah, don't wanna know! *puts fingers in ears and shouts "la la la la la la la la la!"*

I guess not, but I would feel awkward beyond all awkwardness if I just waltzed in there and said "Hey baby. *wink wink* You single?" Obviously not that straightforward and exaggeratedly xD but either way it would be just as awkward, especially when he doesn't even know my name. I'll definitely look around for him next time I go though. I actually have to get some stuff printed out so I might be returning soon. Hopefully he has his shift at that time <.<

Hehehe~ but don't you want to know how chicken tenders are made?