Just about every Judd Apatow movie?
Umm...I can't seem to find anything other than knocked up that has that.
Patriarchy is also what reinforces cultural expectation of men. When people say that "Men suffer from sexism too" in the sense that they feel the pressure to conform, to be "a real man", it isn't women that have created the notion. It's patriarchy, and all of its proponents are the ones responsible for upholding it, whether they be male or female.
I disagree. You're saying that no woman ever has wanted a "real man". No women ever desire the traditional, masculine, macho man? No, no, let's blame that on men too.
Stating that the standards of beauty are patriarchally defined isn't man-hating. It's just fact. Throughout history, male-orientated culture has always expressed what is an acceptable form of beauty and what isn't. This has been subject to trends; at one point, larger women were the aspirational standard. With surging modernity and the rise of the fashion industry, the aspirational standard changed. What was originally perfunctory has spilled over from the culture of fashion into society.
Yea, but doesn't that make sense? That standards of beauty for one sex be defined by the other sex in a society that is straight? (majority).
Again, are you saying women don't have beauty standards for men? (namely six pack abs, and broad shoulders)
Now, add the fact we're moving into a corporatocracy, and it seems only obvious why it makes sense that "thin = beautiful". We're all taught that the basis of our self-esteem is contingent on what others think of us. Capitalist institutions thrive on the fact that we're susceptible to how others see us. We're shown aspirational program that is dominated by young people who all conform to a similar aesthetic appeal. The programming we watch is a clear message: this is how you should look, and if you don't... well, here's a bunch of products in the commercials that will help you! Lose weight! Enhance your bust! Try this anti-aging cream that will peel off layers of your face in order to uncover your natural beauty! If that fails, hide it under layer upon layer of make-up! The irony is that culture also markets the products that make the body deviate from the aspirational standard of beauty: fast food is everywhere, cheap and readily available, cigarettes age the skin, cosmetic products lead to skin problems and all of these contribute into forcing us to buy more.
Agreed.
The solution to this is to eliminate standard definitions of beauty, and to stop reiterating the idea that your self-esteem should be contingent on how you look or how others view you. Nobody, male or female, should feel ugly or conform to an ideal that society projects. We aren't dollies, we shouldn't spend most of our lives trying to look attractive for other people. Beauty should be subjective. I mean, I've had friends admit to me: "I'd date them, but I can't because I'd be too ashamed to be seen in public with them" which is honestly extremely disheartening. Unfortunately, what we find attractive is shaped by society and we view other people through this ideological lens. It's very difficult to separate this from the essence of the self, and thus, we end up saying: "I just don't find (x, y, or z) attractive".
That's like saying we should stop being humans. Humans are shaped partly by genetics and partly by the environment. That's just how it is.
On a side note, fat doesn't equal unhealthy. You can easily be 'fat' in an aesthetic sense whilst still being completely healthy. Obesity is another thing entirely, but still, you can be obese and if you include a vitamin-rich diet and shun toxins from your body, you'll still be healthier than someone who is half your weight that smokes, drinks and is malnourished. I don't accept the argument that being fat is any more disrespectful to the body than being thin and unhealthy. To the people that say "I wouldn't date a fat person because they don't look after their body", I accept this as a reasonable conclusion so long as you do everything to look after your own body, and your assertion isn't marred by the fact that you'd accept someone who smokes, drinks heavily, doesn't drink etc etc.
I agree that being fat doesn't mean unhealthy. The OP doesn't give us a time frame for the weight gain. If the 40 lbs gain would be over a few years, that is understandable. But let's say the 40lbs was over something like 6 months, then that would be concerning and almost always not healthy (unless she's a bodybuilder).
I believe in taking care of myself and my body. If a person can't take care of the one of the only thing that is truly theirs - their body, that shows a lack of commitment and dedication to me.
Also, if your love for one another is based purely on physical attraction, it really isn't going to last. Even if you manage to stay thin and invest in all the cosmetics under the sun, your looks are going to change over time. You're better off without that person.
Physical attraction can help you get noticed in a sea of crowd. Your personality and your ideals and what will help maintain that attraction though. Physical attraction alone will only go so far.
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