Loyal's Thoughts

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Our cat died after 21 years of life, too. I can understand how you feel losing what is essentially a family member.

Cats can be very resilient and come morning she can be back to full health. With any luck that's what will happen here.

Yeah she really was more family than most of my relatives. I know 21 is a really good lifespan for a cat, but it just feels too soon still.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Had a rough night last night, im trying to keep myself as composed as possible so im not putting too much onto my partner (she has been great but i dont want to put it all on her). But after she went to sleep last night I broke down. Ended up crying myself to sleep.

I cant picture my life or my home without Spoty. She was the one who was always there, no matter what shit happened, I had Spoty.

Its like every time I lose someone another chunk of my heart just dies. I feel like its just riddled with holes, I lost a huge part with Gabe's death, now another huge part for Spoty. I suspect my nan will be dying soon too.

My nan(she is 94-ish) has gotten worse with her dementia (plus she has bowel cancer and every other problem that comes with old age), she has been transferred from her nursing home to a high care facility about 6 hours away, I didnt go see her coz its too hard for me to see her so frail and weak. There was a period of time when I lived with her to care for her and that was hard enough watching her so frail and deteriorating, and that was a good 4 or 5 years ago. The doctors say my nan has a few months in a best case scenario. But to be fair they also told us that about 3 years ago. She's got the tough Scottish blood, too stubborn to listen to the doctors.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Got Spoty's ashes today.
 

Attachments

  • 20140704_165017.jpg
    20140704_165017.jpg
    99.7 KB · Views: 0
  • 20140704_165023.jpg
    20140704_165023.jpg
    82.1 KB · Views: 0
  • 20140704_170018.jpg
    20140704_170018.jpg
    88.6 KB · Views: 0

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Very sad to have my holidays ended, even though they werent great, what with me getting sick and my cat and my last rat dying.

Im having my first on campus tutorial this Thursday but I started the lectures and readings a few days ago. Im already feeling very overwhelmed. The Psychology unit I am in had this video in which students in the honours years of the course pretty much talked about the pressures of this course, the importance of the unit grades and the importance of getting great grades from the first year otherwise doing the course will be near impossible.

So for someone who was already stressing about the amount of work I will have to do, the video has left me rather shaken. The units Im doing this semester have heavy workloads and are very science based/math based (which Im not good at). Im trying to remind myself its only the start of semester and to just take it one thing at a time. But Im strongly thinking I need to reevaluate my plan, I dont know if im cut out for uni. If I hadnt gotten so sick and had a breakdown I would have been ok, but Im just a shadow of my old abilities and they arent coming back at all, my marks have been passes and credits... which arent good at all, because if I dont get good marks I dont get into honours years and then I dont get to be a psychologist, just someone with a useless degree that doesnt qualify to work in the field.

High Distinction = 85 and above
Distinction = 75-84
Credit = 65-74
Pass = 50-64

Fail = 49 and below

So needless to say Im freaking out a little bit, for the last few years I really wanted to get this degree so I could become a psychologist and help young people who are struggling so they dont end up as broken as I feel. My real passion is animals but I dont have the emotional ability or the steadiness or brains to be a vet or work in a clinic, and there isnt much money or jobs in the other animal fields.

So here I am wondering what to do with my life again.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
In shock about the loss of Robin Williams. He is one of my favourite actors, from his brilliance in Dead Poets Society to his hilarity in Mrs Doubtfire to his heart wrenching performance in Patch Adams. Robin was one of the greatest actors and his movies had such an amazing quality to them, I feel so lucky to have grown up watching his work. R.I.P Robin Williams, you will always be one of the greatest.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Very sad to have my holidays ended, even though they werent great, what with me getting sick and my cat and my last rat dying.

Im having my first on campus tutorial this Thursday but I started the lectures and readings a few days ago. Im already feeling very overwhelmed. The Psychology unit I am in had this video in which students in the honours years of the course pretty much talked about the pressures of this course, the importance of the unit grades and the importance of getting great grades from the first year otherwise doing the course will be near impossible.

So for someone who was already stressing about the amount of work I will have to do, the video has left me rather shaken. The units Im doing this semester have heavy workloads and are very science based/math based (which Im not good at). Im trying to remind myself its only the start of semester and to just take it one thing at a time. But Im strongly thinking I need to reevaluate my plan, I dont know if im cut out for uni. If I hadnt gotten so sick and had a breakdown I would have been ok, but Im just a shadow of my old abilities and they arent coming back at all, my marks have been passes and credits... which arent good at all, because if I dont get good marks I dont get into honours years and then I dont get to be a psychologist, just someone with a useless degree that doesnt qualify to work in the field.

High Distinction = 85 and above
Distinction = 75-84
Credit = 65-74
Pass = 50-64

Fail = 49 and below

So needless to say Im freaking out a little bit, for the last few years I really wanted to get this degree so I could become a psychologist and help young people who are struggling so they dont end up as broken as I feel. My real passion is animals but I dont have the emotional ability or the steadiness or brains to be a vet or work in a clinic, and there isnt much money or jobs in the other animal fields.

So here I am wondering what to do with my life again.
No doubt doing the degree is going to be challenging, and you do have to go through many hoops just to get to where you want to be with your psychology degree.

If I can suggest a few things:


  • Don't worry about what you have to get in terms of credits and passes and so on. Looking too far into the future and wondering how on earth you're going to get there is a sure way to be apprehensive and view the process as too hard. Take it one step, one week, one lecture at a time.

  • I'm doing a Bachelor of Science with a psychology major, and apparently you don't need a credit average to proceed into Honours like you do with a straight psychology bachelor. Don't quote me on that but that's the mumblings I've heard.

  • Are you doing full-time uni? Maybe scaling it back to part-time may be helpful for you, so you don't get lumbered with too much work at once.

  • Have you considered transferring to the University of Wollongong? They offer all these courses and it's so much closer to where you live, and it could alleviate more stress for you.
I don't know if any of that is helpful, but just some thoughts of mine.

In shock about the loss of Robin Williams. He is one of my favourite actors, from his brilliance in Dead Poets Society to his hilarity in Mrs Doubtfire to his heart wrenching performance in Patch Adams. Robin was one of the greatest actors and his movies had such an amazing quality to them, I feel so lucky to have grown up watching his work. R.I.P Robin Williams, you will always be one of the greatest.
I think the biggest shock is how he died. Such a funny, charismatic man taken by the demons of depression. It is unbiased, unforgiving.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
No doubt doing the degree is going to be challenging, and you do have to go through many hoops just to get to where you want to be with your psychology degree.

If I can suggest a few things:


  • Don't worry about what you have to get in terms of credits and passes and so on. Looking too far into the future and wondering how on earth you're going to get there is a sure way to be apprehensive and view the process as too hard. Take it one step, one week, one lecture at a time.

  • I'm doing a Bachelor of Science with a psychology major, and apparently you don't need a credit average to proceed into Honours like you do with a straight psychology bachelor. Don't quote me on that but that's the mumblings I've heard.

  • Are you doing full-time uni? Maybe scaling it back to part-time may be helpful for you, so you don't get lumbered with too much work at once.

  • Have you considered transferring to the University of Wollongong? They offer all these courses and it's so much closer to where you live, and it could alleviate more stress for you.
I don't know if any of that is helpful, but just some thoughts of mine.


I think the biggest shock is how he died. Such a funny, charismatic man taken by the demons of depression. It is unbiased, unforgiving.


Yeah I have been trying to take it just one week at a time, I typed up a chart to mark off week by week when I do the lectures/readings/quizzes, then in my diary I have when assignments are due. Im really just trying to take it one day at a time really.

Im technically doing a BA in psych so its supposed to be easier than a full psych degree....

I have considered scaling it back to part time but then centrelink will make me get a job at the same time which will just add anxiety and stress in anyway in a different form. So I might as well just try full time uni.

I deliberately chose not to apply for UOW because their psych units are supposed to be quite poorly organised and structured. Plus my uni has some better elective units that Wollongong doesnt provide. But it may be something I look at if this semester is not passed completely

Your thoughts are appreciated of course, most of them I have been rolling around in my mind. But for now im going to take it day by day, and see how this semester plays out.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I am so angry right now, I've been trying to get in contact with the support services at my uni to see what can be arranged so that I don't have to drop out, but I have had a lot of difficulty getting a hold of them. So I emailed and am pretty much just waiting for a response, which would be either via email or via phone. Even though she knew this my partner still took my phone with her today, not to mention the fact she knows how anxious it makes me not having my phone on me.

She has a busy day and her phone has no credit, but the original plan was that I was going with her so it didnt matter, otherwise I told her I would give her the money to put credit on her phone. Instead I wake up to find her gone and both phones with her, when I called her through the relay service she said she would tell the uni to email me if they called. But she knows how badly I want this shit sorted out and how much I wanted to do it over the phone!

So infuriating... Not to mention the fact that I hate when she just leaves while Im in bed when im supposed to go with her...

As it stands Im almost certainly dropping the psyc unit of uni, either for now or just for good... I cant keep up with the workload and the stress it puts on me is insane.

Needless to say Im now feeling stressed,anxious, and angry. Not how I saw this day playing out.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Luckily about 15 minutes after my partner came home, with my phone, that phone call I was worried about arrived. Even though the call ended up being utterly useless, at least I've tried all the options I should and now I'm contacting the course conveners of each unit to see what options they will give me.

Also tonight while my partner and I were walking the dog (I prefer to do it at night coz its darker and less people around) we had some ******* throw their drink at us. I wish I had been able to get their numberplate or something because the drink also went on my dog which really pissed me off, but they sped off too fast for us to do anything.
I hate this town.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
Also tonight while my partner and I were walking the dog (I prefer to do it at night coz its darker and less people around) we had some ******* throw their drink at us. I wish I had been able to get their numberplate or something because the drink also went on my dog which really pissed me off, but they sped off too fast for us to do anything.
I hate this town.

:eek: WHAT!??? Who the hell does that?! Poor puppy. I hope he or she is alright
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
:eek: WHAT!??? Who the hell does that?! Poor puppy. I hope he or she is alright

I assume they were aiming at me or my girlfriend and my dog just got caught in the middle, at least im hoping that is the case. Luckily my dog is still a pup (10 months), and thought one of us had done it in play, so she just got a little bit excited and it didnt scare her. It just appears to be ******* night or something coz we also got horned and given the finger by another car full of young ****s.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
I assume they were aiming at me or my girlfriend and my dog just got caught in the middle, at least im hoping that is the case. Luckily my dog is still a pup (10 months), and thought one of us had done it in play, so she just got a little bit excited and it didnt scare her. It just appears to be ******* night or something coz we also got horned and given the finger by another car full of young ****s.

Jeeez!! Something was in the air that night
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I have officially dropped the Psych unit, it was far too much stress and too much work and I couldn't keep up. I may pick it up again next year and do it and only one other unit so I don't get so overwhelmed.

Since at this point im not dropping out of uni I have a lot of catching up to do, I didnt think I was going to be able to stay in uni so I stopped doing any of the work, so now I have 19 hours of lectures to do, 17 chapters of various texts to read (varying from 10 to 100 pages per chapter), 2 novels to read, an essay to write (which was due tonight but the convenor of the unit was very understanding and gave me a weeks extension), I have to chart the position of the moon over the next two weeks (I tried to start two days ago but it was cloudy one night, and I couldnt see the moon at all the following night) and I have an Ethogram due tomorrow (its only worth 3% though so im trying really hard not to stress about it).

Im trying to take things one at a time as much as possible so I dont stress out, I managed to do one of my lectures already for the english unit and I only have one more then im caught up on english unit lectures, After which I'll do some of the readings (leaving out the novels for later). After this I'll do the Animal behaviour lectures, although there is 9 hours of lectures there so I wont get much of it done tonight, but I'll do what I can tonight and tomorrow so that I can watch whatever extra videos I need to do so that I can pound out an Ethogram and submit it tomorrow. Then I will do the readings for the animal behaviour unit, then I will do the Astronomy lectures, and the readings for it, while charting the moon every possible night. Then finally I will do the english readings (including 2 or 3 novels depending on whether or not I finish this workload by monday)

Once I've done all that I will be officially caught up and I will continue from next week to do the usual 7 hours of lectures a week plus readings and assignments and whatnot.

There is such a huge amount that it is quite daunting, plus my partner is away this weekend so I also have to do random household duties and walk the dog, but I think those will be appreciated breaks away from the computer screen.

Im trying to keep it as a one step at a time mentality to keep from getting overwhelmed and having a meltdown.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
:kickingmyself: Trying to chart the moon location for my astronomy unit for uni, but I cant find the damned moon!! This is making it 3 nights in a row that I cant find the moon :veryangry:
 

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
:kickingmyself: Trying to chart the moon location for my astronomy unit for uni, but I cant find the damned moon!! This is making it 3 nights in a row that I cant find the moon :veryangry:

Look up. :D

Seriously, though, if you have a smartphone or tablet, there are a number of apps that will tell you where to find the moon at any given time. I use one called LunaSolCal which gives rise, set, and noon times for both the moon and the sun, plus altitude, azimuth, moon phase/age/visibility, and a few other details I don't understand. It's free, and I find it very useful (I have sun issues, and I also enjoy a good moongaze now and then).

For example, right now it is telling me that the moon will rise today in your area at 8:30 AM and set at 9:49 PM (your time). If you go out any later than that, you obviously won't be able to see it. Moonsets for the past three nights were at 7:04, 7:58, and 8:53, which is probably why you missed it then. It's also only 17% full at the moment (waxing crescent), so it may be hard to spot during the day. Both rise and set times will get later as it waxes, which may be helpful.

I'm not suggesting that you use this to cheat on your coursework—or that you would do so—but if your instructor permits, it could be a good way to at least get your head pointed in the right direction at the right time. I hope this helps. :)
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member

Damn! I knew I was missing something!

Thanks for the app suggestion, Im downloading it now. Dont worry I wont cheat. But it will help me work out what time to try and find the moon, because i've checked ever 45 minutes or so since 8:30, its now 1:33am and no sign of the moon, I even walked up to the top of my driveway and looked from the street. Nothing :eek:mg:
 
Top