KiaKaha
Banned
Why the quotation marks? That is what ultimately has happened.
But yes I can think of a few. It's not just online it is the real world too.
I think the reasons are fairly scientific.
Kia's Ultimate rejection thread
- Thread starter KiaKaha
- Start date
Why the quotation marks? That is what ultimately has happened.
But yes I can think of a few. It's not just online it is the real world too.
I think the reasons are fairly scientific.
WishingICould
Well-known member
And they would be?
coyote
Well-known member
because i'm trying to help
like you asked
but everything anyone says, you twist around into some sort of manipulative ploy to get things your way
and so i submit to you that this is the very same problem you are having with the women you date
perhaps they see right through this game you're playing
and prefer to let you down easy, rather than play along
truly and sincerely, i say this with love and support, KiaKaha - it's not to criticize, find fault, or judge you - i am your friend
your response to my last comments was to turn everything back on me, rather than to address the questions posed to you
fear and anger are not your friends - let them go
stop trying to control what everyone else might think of you and share what's in your heart, so we can get it out into the light of day and see it for what it is
KiaKaha
Banned
I dont play games. I would never get as far I do if that was the case. I know people are not stupid and would not insult a persons intelligence by playing games - you would be remarkably surprised at how charming and easy to be around in the real world - if I do say so myself. People tell me all the time that I am easy to know (Well if I can initiate interest to begin with) - I make people, particularly women - feel at ease - which is what makes things so damed confusing.
I am not good enough to keep - for reasons unknown.
Well - as I said - for reasons that I may suspect but are not admitted to because that would be admitting something to themselves.
Do you think it is acceptable to date someone, enjoy their company for a few weeks then cut all contact with them? How about someone telling you that they are not ready for a relationship then catching them with someone else a few days later? How would anyone else here feel if that happened to them? I am not stupid - I know when someone is lying to me.
Am I pissed? Yeah - wouldn't anyone else be? Am I afraid. No. I am stronger than people give me credit for.
Fine. I will tell you what I think is the real reason - but I will no doubt have my back against a wall as usual. But hey I have come this far so why the hell not.
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WishingICould
Well-known member
So, what is the real reason?
Opaline
1
Why don't we just solve this whole thing right now - let's get married.
But in all seriousness, women these days are weird. I mean we always have been, but now many don't want to "settle". It's all about wondering if they could still find someone better, so they're insecure with who they have then. That might not explain all your rejections, but maybe more than a few.
But in all seriousness, women these days are weird. I mean we always have been, but now many don't want to "settle". It's all about wondering if they could still find someone better, so they're insecure with who they have then. That might not explain all your rejections, but maybe more than a few.
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1BlackSheep
Well-known member
opcorn:...I've refrained from putting in my $0.02, but here goes. Kia, do you think perhaps maybe you're just a bit too "intense" in your pursuit of these women? For example, there is a guy at work who I'm certain has a "thing" for me, and while I find him attractive, successful, funny, etc, he just comes on waaaaay too strong and it's culled my interest in him. Don't get me wrong - I love attention and being doted on, but it feels like he forces it on me and I just don't like it. It doesn't feel natural. Maybe you are doing this without realizing it? I know your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place, but romance kind of just has to happen on it's own - it can't be forced. I could be all wrong here, but just putting it out there as something to ponder.
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Opaline
1
Haha I'm joking! I mean yeah Kia's handsome and apparently charming
but yeah, totally joking.
Opaline
1
Haha, I'm assuming you're joking
But if not, obviously I don't know him personally, so if I was serious I think that would be pretty scary on my part
coyote
Well-known member
i would, personally, not do that to someone else. what anyone else might do is up to them.
yeah, that would make me feel pretty rotten, too. but they aren't responsible for my feelings, or your feelings. we're each responsible for our own feelings.
at the time they said that to you, they may well have believed it, but then changed their minds when they met someone that they felt ready to settle down with.
but maybe they did lie, maybe they were already with the other person and used you for recreation or whatever their motives were - aren't you glad that you didn't end up in a relationship with that person?
how you choose to feel about it is your own responsibility, not theirs. they are responsible for their actions, you are responsible for yours.
yes i would be pissed off, too, that i wasn't fulfilling my desires - but i'm talking about being angry at the world, at women, at society, at me, at everyone else but the problem.
i suspect that there might be something you are afraid of - something you're not ready to admit to - that's the nature of anxiety
i'm afraid of a lot of things, but i've made a deal with myself to admit to my fears, and that has helped me to confront them
i sense that you are strong. you're a fighter. you just need to pick the right opponent. otherwise, you're just boxing shadows.
i think everyone here is adult enough to discuss whatever you have to say with dignity and respect
if not, Remus will ban them
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bcsr
Well-known member
Haha, I'm assuming you're joking
totally joking. :ironicsmile:
coyote
Well-known member
this expresses what i was trying to say once before, but in a much more direct and succinct way :thumbup:
KiaKaha
Banned
I've refrained from putting in my $0.02, but here goes. Kia, do you think perhaps maybe you're just a bit too "intense" in your pursuit of these women? For example, there is a guy at work who I'm certain has a "thing" for me, and while I find him attractive, successful, funny, etc, he just comes on waaaaay too strong and it's culled my interest in him. Don't get me wrong - I love attention and being doted on, but it feels like he forces it on me and I just don't like it. It doesn't feel natural. Maybe you are doing this without realizing it? I know your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place, but romance kind of just has to happen on it's own - it can't be forced. I could be all wrong here, but just putting it out there as something to ponder.
Intense? INTENSE?? I AM NOT INTENSE DAMMIT... I AM EASYGOING...!!
Actually I have thought about this to some degree - I think this particularly true within online dating, where there is an expectation of romance and to take things further - but if there is flirtation back - then isn't me flirting with them back the expected thing to do? (but not taking to too slow - otherwise friend zoned - got to get the balance EXACTLY right)
I think - ahem... let me just clear my throat here... I think - that one of the reasons is that a potential mate to take things further and to actually be "the boyfriend" there is an emergency shut off system.
I mean if I wrote out - exactly how a relationship develops - perhaps you could tell me if my expectations are unreasonable.
I know how I come across on here by the way - it's cool. I am making my dinner by the way which is why I can't respond to everything properly.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Coyote, I love you. You should marry me.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
No.... he is mine.
Maybe we can share?