Kia's Ultimate rejection thread

KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Sup,

Its me, Kia - the most respected and popular member of the forum. How you doing?

So I have decided to create a thread to to....record... and examine all the times I get rejected, socially and romantically.
Some of you - if you decide to read this, are not going to like some of the things I may say....or come to the conclusion about. I will abide by the forum rules (well I will TRY to at least - if I get banned then I guess that is the way it is) but the content itself may be a little on the controversial side.

I am... remarkably unpopular. I always have been - or at least - that is what it feels like. I have low self esteem, a poor self image and when I feel low... I feel so low that I can barely breathe or think straight. I am socially awkward, I lack confidence, shy and anxious. I am also angry, frustrated and hurt. I have a very strong underlying belief that I am uncared for, un liked and physically unattractive. It is quite clear that obviously I have some mental health issues. However - on the surface - occasionally - I can appear easy going, charming, likeable and confident.

In real life - I am, or at least I like to think I am (I am quite unsure of my perception of how things really are these days - and what reality really means at all) quite mellow, calm and friendly.

For the record - there are a few things that I like about myself - that I feel contribute to who I am as a person. I generally feel that I am a good person. I have a kind eye for people who seem to be ignored. I am sympathetic to the poor and patient with those who are hard to deal with. I have compassion to those who are ousted by the majority. Generally I am polite, I am courteous and I can admit when I am wrong and I know how to say sorry.

Even though when I feel like the world is against me - that I am completely alone and when I feel that everyone hates me - these are things, that help keep me together - these are the things that keep me alive.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
When I have more energy and I am not feeling so unhappy - I will make an entry about personal rejection. I need answers. It is the way I am wired.
 
skins

skins

1
when you're down, somtimes you just got to cling onto those few things in life that keep you going, and not let go...even this can feel like a strugle when you're at the lowest of lows. somtimes we need to realise that our mental issues are physical handicaps to achieving some things others may take for granted. sometimes its like were outside looking in and thinking why can't i be as popular, have as many friends, relationships and success as the next guy? but it'd be like someone in a wheelchair on a pool deck thinking why can't i just jump in and do a few laps...these things are barriers to us..somtimes we need to simplifiy our lives to live around them. just as the guy in the wheelchair has to modify his lifestyle to accomodate his dissabbilites. i dare say we have to lower our expectations on many a life goal.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
KiaKaha said:
Sup,


So I have decided to create a thread to to....record... and examine all the times I get rejected, socially and romantically.
Click to expand...

Oh lord above :eek:h: ...whats wrong with finding ways to promote your self esteem?

Some of you - if you decide to read this, are not going to like some of the things I may say....or come to the conclusion about. I will abide by the forum rules (well I will TRY to at least - if I get banned then I guess that is the way it is) but the content itself may be a little on the controversial side.
Click to expand...

:eek:h: lol I have no doubt that any bystanding angry mobs will find fuel for their torches in this thread


I am... remarkably unpopular. I always have been - or at least - that is what it feels like.
Click to expand...

That's certainly not true of this forum. You are our beloved resident sh.it stirrer:bigsmile:. You are very well liked. Your threads are incredibly popular and people genuinely like you Kia. You always have something interesting to say and frankly you are funny and you write extremely well.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Hellhound said:
Why not making a thread about the times you DON'T get rejected instead?
Click to expand...

cos I'm a glass half empty kinda guy.

coyote said:
in your search for answers

as you question everything there is to question

i hope you find the strength to question your own perceptions as well
Click to expand...

Perceptions yes - not everything is a misjudgement of how things actually are or a misinterpretation of what things may be. What if - one is actually right instead? What if people are subject to the underlying subtleties of actually being rejected or treated badly?

I know that there is strong sentiment in this forum that all of life's bad stuff, all of the things that get us down, is merely seen as not interpreting things correctly or our inability to see the good because of our current mood, past experiences and mentality. Unfortunately - not everyone is built the same - some people are more sensitive, some have less resilience - and our experience subjectively dictates our reality. Sometimes - its not about perception - sometimes its actually about the way things are.

If only...if only, if only - people would merely snap out of it and see the bright side of life eh? Then it all would be solved.

But I totally understand the exhaustion. I wouldn't tolerate this self indulgent crap either. Ugh.
 
Last edited:
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
Its me, Kia - the most respected and popular member of the forum. How you doing?
Click to expand...

lol i love your sense of humor.

in my opinion, continuing this frame of mind (taking inventory of your rejections) is self sabotaging. doing things like this is exactly what makes you so "unpopular" (not that i believe you are unpopular, just using your own word). this sort of activity is people-repelling. ever hear of self fulfilling prophecy? how about take inventory of all of your achievements? embrace those.

life isn't always peachy and it's good to be realistic... but this just seems like you are setting flame to the negative.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
From a reproductive sense - females are able to be more choosy because they have a limited amount of resources to produce offspring. A limited number of eggs. Men's reproductive material is vast in number and is essentially unlimited. This is why I think women have more power, generally speaking, when it comes to dating, are more exclusive - and why men fight with each other for attention. I think the friend zone - has it's roots in biology.

We desire things that are difficult to obtain because we don't like to have our freedom limited. We act before it can be.

This is why being unobtainable is attractive.

Just look at advertising and sales in stores.

I am ****ed.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
dottie said:
lol i love your sense of humor.

in my opinion, continuing this frame of mind (taking inventory of your rejections) is self sabotaging. doing things like this is exactly what makes you so "unpopular" (not that i believe you are unpopular, just using your own word). this sort of activity is people-repelling. ever hear of self fulfilling prophecy? how about take inventory of all of your achievements? embrace those.

life isn't always peachy and it's good to be realistic... but this just seems like you are setting flame to the negative.
Click to expand...

Well yeah - you are right. I know you are, but I am gonna do it anyway. See - I am not sure about the self fulfilling prophecy thing either. I actually think its the reverse - that things are perpetuated because of events from the past - or some kind of cultural conditioning - rather than things happen because we make them happen (getting controversial here) but yeah - maybe when for a change I get what i want... just for once, when people in the real world stop looking at me like a piece of garbage - when I have a moment of happiness -then maybe I will start a thread about all my achievements. Besides the point isn't to complain (that is merely a by product) but to analyze.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
fight-the-power.jpg
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
If only...if only, if only - people would merely snap out of it and see the bright side of life eh? Then it all would be solved.
Click to expand...

that is what you seem to perceive that i am saying

but at no time i have i ever expressed this sentiment

if you can't hear what i am saying (maybe it's because i represent something that won't allow you to, i don't know), then maybe reading something like this might help:

phocas said:
found this CBT self help course
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/SelfHelpCourse.pdf
Click to expand...

maybe it explains my point a view a little clearer
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
I do believe Coyote has a point, but coming to terms with how we fit into society and how it makes us feel will always be open to conjecture.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Kia you not so unpopular around these forums, and I suspect that must be in the case in real life. Maybe that unpopularity is more based on your thoughts than reality?

I agree with Dottie about the self fulfilling prophecy, sometimes by putting out into the world a fearful, anxious vibe, then the world reacts to that by making your worst fear come true. That's how my anxiety works anyways, mostly based on thoughts.

I'm with you on the romantic stakes, it is an impossibly complicated and extremely painful area of life. My answer to all that hurtful rejection was at about age 40 not to bother anymore and just get busy pursuing the things that I know make me happy.

Maybe you could do that too, really get involved with helping the disadvanatged, not so much worrying about the dating game, which appears to be one dysfunctional lucky dip.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top