It's almost too late for me

[nosurprises]

.

................

 

[Chess]

I don't think it's ever too late (beyond the opportune time, maybe), but if you have bad habits and a problem with anxiety they're not going to just up and vanish. People continue to grow and develop throughout their lives.

 

[Dark angel]

It is funny, how identified I feel with this post. i also feel like I'm 15 again, and I hate it. I hate that my mind cannot play catch up with my feelings. I AM in my mid 20's and we are going through the exactly same thing. I do have my degree but can't do much with it because while I was studying I missed on so many opportunities to get some experience because of my non-sense fear of doing things in front of others and taking risks. But, I will say this. We cannot give up. Everyday is a new opportunity to do things right and find any possible way to make our life turn upside down. This is something I say to myself everyday until I can believe it myself, until I can feel that Im capable of achieving my goals. Otherwise, nobody else will believe in me.

 

[Section_31]

its never too late.

Next year ill be 30. Im still living in my dads basement. And im essentially in the same boat, though my career is starting to get going.

Dont give up!!!!. Things CAN be changed.

 

[Amitush123]

I think that you can change that quite easily - find a job, can be even part time, meet people there, save some money..
After a while you will regain confidene and fight the strength to resume your studies..

 

[gustavofring]

I'm 26 and think I'm in the same boat, but I'm getting out of there. I feel it in my bones that I am changing and climbing out of that pit (see my avatar).

The thing is, positive action and goalsetting is required to get out of this state. Don't linger at home, it will only lead to vicious circles of depression, isolation and thinking too much. It is brain-killing. Get out there, find a job, meet people. Even small accomplishments in a day can slowly get you back into a positive mindset. Thinking "it's too late" is rubbish, but understandable with today's society and expectations/pressure. Ignore that!

We're still f^cking young, and have lots of opportunities to do something with our lives. Hang in there!

 

[Hoppy]

You are still young enough to do a lot. And if you get to my age you will still be young enough to do a lot.

Don't give up now.

 

[Demarag]

We're still f^cking young, and have lots of opportunities to do something with our lives. Hang in there!

This is so right. I try to remenber this kind of statement when everything goes wrong...

I'll be 26 in two months and I'm still at university for 2 years at least.... I have restared at 23, after years of hidding myself.

It was hard, and still everyday is a fight again myself to continue. But I have made some huge progress, although the work to do is ****ing huge.

So my point is, go for it. Step by step. For now just try the first one.

If you want to talk about it in pm or chat, i would be glad to hear you


ps : I'm sorry for my english,

 

[Section_31]

I have to restart my uni again. and ill probably be doing so untill im 35.

dont feel bad!

 

[Falkor]

I'm nearing my mid-twenties and have no life what so ever. I stay in the house most days since I have no job, no career, no girlfriend and pretty much no friends. I've been trying to pick up some studying again to get a degree and I can't even do that right. I was late this morning so I missed the bus and ended up asking my dad to take me. When I got there the lesson had already started and I was too anxious to walk in in front of everyone, so I turned round and went back home. It's like i'm a teenager again. I don't even care for university, i'm just doing it because everyone else has a degree. All my friends graduated years ago and have careers. I spent this morning walking aimlessly around the park. I don't think my life is ever going to change. I'm not cut out for this.

Hey, no suprises?

Suprises will come!

You only need to do the happening to make things happen! It's hard, but you'll do it, if you really want it, believe.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel so sad about this day that has been going wrong from your perspective. Just tell your teacher about this, tell him you are nervous and you need to get used to joining school again. its OK.


tomorrow there is a new day full with new chances, grab it. i k now the feeling is crap how it is to go there, be in the class with such an amount of fear, dwelling until the day you can go home and put your feet on the table and fear nothing at all. it's the best. and i don't judge anyone their lazy, they mostly say it, while it's actually that we don't fear stuff at home, well we're more calm and chill.

but, uhm, yeah, you should really go tomorrow, and ask a trust buddy / counselor person , and tell him. and maybe this helps, i always do this:

go to the class at first, so all the others face the eyes, not you. if you know what i mean. to pull you over the doorstep. (I so much know what its like).

So yeah, go get em boss, you can do it. just look at it differently. smile, be happy, and don't force yourself to make friends oki.

well, it doesn't make sense since i feel the same just like you, dreading every day and have made none friends in 1 year, but lets hope it goes better for you than for me, im still trying though.

i did made the choice of going even though i have no friends there, even though i cry in the canteen standing so awkward by myself, i know in the future i think, yep i have a degree.

and i do feel so terrible of standing alone, i want to laugh with others.
but i have to say, i pretty much avoid it myself, and i know the people do like me, so lets just be honest and say, this was my own action and i hope i can still change it. ::

now let's see, school is about learning, and for you it's a job.

and self - development is all about learning.

you can always share anything at this board, we're hear to listen.

 

[Lea]

It actually is quite a surprise . You know what I mean.

 

[OceanMist]

There are so many people in your situation if that helps any. A lot of people who are outgoing can't even find work. It's so tough out there.

I believe unemployment in my country is still at a whopping 9%? That's millions of people who don't even have a job. It's crazy to think about how many people don't go to work every day. It's so competitive out there.

 

[laure15]

I can relate to much of what you said. I'm also in the same boat, and I've dropped out of several uni's due to social problems. But, I'm back to school again, only this time, it's online. I get to do my classes online, which helps a lot. I save on gas money too. Maybe you can find online classes that you can take at your local university.

I know the feeling. When you're late and you know that when you walk into the classroom, lots of people will stop listening to the professor and just look at you. But, I prefer to come late to class because if I come early, I will sit there looking like a stone and other people will notice me and talk about me. I'm very quiet, and I've had bullied pick on me because I'm sitting there without anyone to talk to. So, I prefer to arrive late and find a seat at the back of the classroom.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

As long as there is life, there is hope!

Just remember that life is a competition, but not between yourself and others, but between who you are right now and who you want to be.

It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 60, as long as there is something you want to improve in your life then you should keep trying.

 

[user deleted]

I'm nearing my mid-twenties and have no life what so ever. I stay in the house most days since I have no job, no career, no girlfriend and pretty much no friends. I've been trying to pick up some studying again to get a degree and I can't even do that right. I was late this morning so I missed the bus and ended up asking my dad to take me. When I got there the lesson had already started and I was too anxious to walk in in front of everyone, so I turned round and went back home. It's like i'm a teenager again. I don't even care for university, i'm just doing it because everyone else has a degree. All my friends graduated years ago and have careers. I spent this morning walking aimlessly around the park. I don't think my life is ever going to change. I'm not cut out for this.

I've done this countless times. For Uni to work for me, I have a system of arriving incredibly early for lessons so that I can be more prepared. It also allows me to find the best seat, and plan exit routes etc. I've been late before, though, and just not been able to go into a lesson. The way I look at it though is that I at least managed to leave the house and get to a lesson - that's an achievement in itself. If you allow yourself to become wrapped up in that spiralling feeling of despair due to your own perceived failures, it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I don't know if taking a degree for the sake of it is the best idea, but making a change is definitely a positive step. University is a big commitment, financially as well as time-wise and I do think it's worth considering whether it's actually something you want before continuing. There are other options available to you which could facilitate positive change - lots of colleges offer free taster courses which might help you figure out what you want. Local mental health teams also run groups for people suffering with SA, it may be a good starting point for you.

Don't give yourself such a hard time for starting late. I also started late as a sort of last resort I-have-to-do-something-with-my-life kind of thing, but now I do have a positive career direction. Though I don't think by any means I'm "there" I'm certainly on my way. I still struggle with SA, but I feel overall less depressed as there's a tangible sense of momentum in my life as opposed to stagnation.

The other thing I would say to you is that the University should have some sort of support for people with mental health problems. Kent Uni has the Dyslexia and Disability Support Service and they've been incredibly helpful to me. They can offer things like mentoring, counselling, practical help (such as providing you with specialist equipment if you struggle with things like concentration), help managing your work-load... They can also speak to your tutors so that if you need to leave a class due to anxiety you can leave without questioning. They can also advise your tutors not to draw on you for seminar participation if you seem quiet, and allow you to contribute yourself. There's also flexibility around attendance/deadlines. I really would suggest getting in touch with them, it could really prove useful to you. I think initially, anyway. The first year is likely to prove tough, but once you get used to it you may find you need less and less support, dwindling to none.

Be proud of yourself for having the motivation to change your life. After all, you're the only one who can. I really hope things work out for you.

 

[GhastlyCC]

Aye,
I'm turning 23 next month.
So I'm nearly there too(mid twenties)
Right behind you.
And I'm in the same boat.

I don't think it's too late.
It's never to late.
We've got plenty of time to turn **** around I think.
Don't give up!
(I know that it's not as easy as you might think I'm making it out to be. I often feel like giving up myself. But I can't)