Is someone who hasn't had a relationship by 27 screwed romantically?

I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Barrier said:
No one is ever interested in me though. *shrug* And maybe I am never interested in anyone else either. I don't know.
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Have you ever tried a dating website? Given that you have SA, you're probably not too approachable. Guys, (even confident ones) find it nerve racking approaching a woman. No one likes getting turned down.
Now, if the girl gives off signals, a glance with a smile, or if there's friendly small talk, that makes it easier on the guy to ask her out.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
twiggle said:
I wouldn't say you're romantically screwed at all.
Actually, I think it's quite refreshing when people haven't spent all their adult life either chasing or being in a relationship.
There's more to life than relationships, if somebody has spent their 20's doing lots of other cool stuff besides trying to catch somebody of the opposite gender, then I think that's quite attractive personally. Independence is sexy. Desperation isn't.
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Totally agree!
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
I hope not!! :eek:

Someday (..soon pleaaaaase..) somehow someone will eventually show up..

Have never been on a dating website myself, but I know people who've found true love on it. My cousin met his wife on a website and they just had a beautiful beautiful baby girl :)
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
selon said:
I hope not!! :eek:

Someday (..soon pleaaaaase..) somehow someone will eventually show up..

Have never been on a dating website myself, but I know people who've found true love on it. My cousin met his wife on a website and they just had a beautiful beautiful baby girl :)
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What a wonderful story! I hope I find someone soon too!
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
My most important girlfriend for 4.5 years was after a girl waiting for me loyally to finish in jail. Being 18, I felt i had a life ahead of me.

Relationships must include bosses. After many jobs and girlfriends, my reality started to relfect my failures. Still not giving up, but there is some ghost hanging over me that any encounter with a person makes them run the other way

My search for the reason why is not forming any evidence i can use.

I always smile, share my thoughts with others, verbosely, and shake hands.
I need to find out what's wrong. I start with the ground-level fact that i don't kill people and welcome anyone into my life, becoming their friend, employer or partner. I have pure roots with a very socialite, large family, but they do find me repulsive. I believe I deserve an explanation
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
Unspoken said:
I don't think you're screwed, but your peers who've been dating will probably have a better idea what they want and thus be less willing to spend time/energy just giving something/someone a try than they used to be. Alternatively, they might be much more willing because they're worried about ending up alone. One of the two... probably depends on the individual in question.
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this is all true for the most part, its the stone cold truth of it, alot of people have lived their life to the fullest since high school, every single day and it shows in their almost blind confidence and knowledge, they will present a very confident persona around people compared to people who have things like intense shyness or anxiety or avoidance of progressing. That is the part that will be difficult to comprehend for some. you may also see people and assume they are struggling just like you but in reality they are in fact doing way better then you realised, because they aren't hiding away somewhere, they have exposure everyday, so you may notice them becoming more witty at parties and more comfortable with themselves, and you can start to feel how bad things really can get. So that is a good motivation to start living in the present.

however the more you start living confidentally in a progressive way the more opportunities could come up. i think if you were to have 1 great week then you can see changes in yourself and you can eventually crawl through the mud andreturn to feeling somewhat normal, but only with genuine effort. not with fleeting hopes.

I have had it before where i thought for me "things aren't so bad" but after going to a party or being around a few groups and looking at what other people are achieving that things are actually worse then i realised.
 
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miserablecow

miserablecow

Well-known member
I'm 27 in a few weeks and I've never been in a realtionship, and sometimes I do feel like I'm doomed, but then again, I still have life ahead of me and eventually I might find someone.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
miserablecow said:
I'm 27 in a few weeks and I've never been in a realtionship, and sometimes I do feel like I'm doomed, but then again, I still have life ahead of me and eventually I might find someone.
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You're not doomed. People get together in their 30's, 40's, and beyond. :thumbup:
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
People they come together, people they fall apart, no one can stop us now, because we are all made of stars.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
mikebird said:
...any encounter with a person makes them run the other way ... My search for the reason why is not forming any evidence i can use.
I always smile, share my thoughts with others, verbosely, and shake hands.
I need to find out what's wrong. I start with the ground-level fact that i don't kill people and welcome anyone into my life, becoming their friend, employer or partner. I have pure roots with a very socialite, large family, but they do find me repulsive. I believe I deserve an explanation
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I've always found people to be somewhat of an alien enigma (& i'm sure they've viewed me the same way). We just "don't get" each other. Not as bad now that i'm older (late 30s).
Being a very logical person, what has always confounded me, is why some (or most) people dislike/reject/ridicule/etc me.
Disliking/repulsion/etc is PURELY emotional, not logical. Sometimes also there's NO real reason for it. All i know is it's SOMETHING to do with very minor/subtle things, which maybe only they can detect, not yourself. Maybe it's the way you look at them, or act, or mini facial expressions; logically they could be sound, but the TINIEST of "anomolies" can trigger digust/etc (like seeing an almost-realistic robot). Or maybe it's purely a "mental" thing - you trigger bad feelings in them due to the way you are thinking/feeling about them (ie they pick up your energy/vibe/aura/etc). Whatever the case, one CANNOT FAKE IT (has to be real, "from the heart").

Same goes for relationships i would expect, and perhaps even more so.

Nearing 40, i no longer have the same level of regular, lustful urges (which were always a right nusiance tbh). And i still don't want my life to change (in the BIG ways that a realtionship would do). I just don't see the point. Am so used to being alone, dealing with (occasional) loneliness myself, dealing with all my problems by myself, dealing with the "issue" of being alive, etc. I feel i DON'T NEED a woman to help me with anything (the times that they could have, are long gone). More sceptical about the "relationship" thing now more than ever; sex is dirty, true love doesn't exist, you are used for your money/body/sperm/.. I think i was scr*wed in terms of relationships since my childhood, let alone 27 yrs! :thumbup:
 
drganon

drganon

Well-known member
I just turned 24 and have never even been on a date or even kissed a girl, much less been in any sort of relationship. Part of the problem is that all my co-workers are either male or much older women, I go to school online, and I can't drive, so its pretty much impossible for me to meet anyone. The other part is that I just don't feel there is anything attractive about me. I can't think a single girl that I thought even had the smallest crush on me. I'm not that good looking and I have no unique talents or skills.

The other problem I have is my fear of rejection. Even when I did have opportunities to possibly ask a girl out, I couldn't go through with it. I just couldn't imagine them saying yes. So it was much easier and safer not to try.

Even if someday I was able to get a girl to say yes to going out on a date, they're probably going to expect me to have at least some sort of idea of what I'm doing or experience ( I'm not just talking about sex or making out, which I'd also probably be really bad at). I'd probably just end up making a fool of myself and trying to hard. I think I'm really just not meant to ever be in any sort of relationship. I don't know if anyone is "screwed" if they haven't been in a relationship by 27, but I think I already am.
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
I don't think I'm or anyone else for that matter is really screwed forever. It all depends on making the decision to stop living in our own little bubble. I'm trying to get out of that but it's tough, especially because people just don't understand. I think the fact that people constantly ask me about my so-called love life is worse for me than the actual state of my love life.
 
T

tallmommy

Member
I met my husband when I was 27. Before that, I went on maybe 4 or 5 days (if that) a year. Sometimes I'd go over a year without going on a date. I think the sad thing is I've never gone on a date with anyone I didn't meet online. I think I would still be single if it weren't for online dating sites.
 
cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
No!
No!
No!

I am 43 and never actually been in a 'real relationship' - I've had hook-ups, regrettably, but I've been celibate for quite some time. They say it's like riding a bike. I hope so.

I'm NOT in a relationship, nor seeking one, by personal choice. I come from a family who never persuaded the young offspring to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. In fact, if you did, you would be subject to criticism so I think MY way of thinking about any relationship now is influenced, in part, by the way I was raised.

This is not the 'social norm' (how my family thinks) but what the social norm was is kind of a kickback of the thinking of if you are single at the age of 25-30, then you will be some kind of spinster and you were looked upon as being different. Personally, I don't think this is the case by today's standards. Times change, people change and as such, general thinking should change as well as the social norm of the whole relationship paradigm.
 
Sinopia

Sinopia

1
I'm nearly 27 now and still single, and I've accepted it that it's just the way it is. I'm not capable for relationships. I want a bf so badly, but now I try to focus more on other things, like playing free running and traveling. Keep on trying to have fun in your life. Relationships will come later. And if it will never come, at least you've done a lot of other things in life and reached some other goals in life.
 
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