Is it too late for you?

[LION]

No, though sometimes it requires an immense ammount of effort (and proper knowledge), I think I can build self esteem by my own just fine.

 

[DarkSeeker]

Old self? Forget about all that! That's history. I'm looking forward to become my real self. If I still got hope after going through the unbearable hell I went through, then I'm sure that you do too.

 

[persona]

Deleted...

 

[Psychedelicious]

It's not for you

Too late for what? I don't have an old self either, so I don't have anything to compare to what "used to" be. I need to start, not start over.

 

[SPV]

I don't think it's ever too late for a person to change, have some faith in yourself then you can hopefully work your way up.

 

[Abby]

for me, the worst part these days is knowing that i am the cause of another human being having to go through the same thing. the medical community is just now starting to acknowledge that many causes of SA are most likely genetic (mine being NLD)...

my son is a really great kid - who is going to have a hellish time ahead of him. on the bright side, however, at least they finally have names for these problems - and society is becoming more understanding...albeit very slowly.

 

[userremoved]

As long as I'm still breathing it's not too late. However I've gotten so used to my current lifestyle that I'm not sure what I would even do if I didn't have this problem. And it scares the hell out of me to think of a life any different.

 

[gazelle]

for me, the worst part these days is knowing that i am the cause of another human being having to go through the same thing. the medical community is just now starting to acknowledge that many causes of SA are most likely genetic (mine being NLD)...

my son is a really great kid - who is going to have a hellish time ahead of him. on the bright side, however, at least they finally have names for these problems - and society is becoming more understanding...albeit very slowly.

Abbey I think it's wrong to put a label on your son from now.... even if you are sure that your son has 100% inherited SA from you,it is a good time right now to start fighting with it .

 

[iamthenra]

You know amthenra as much as I can relate to you I really dislike
it when people dump on themselves. Yes, I am not perfect because I do it as well but doesn't dumping on yourself make you feel worse about yourself.
I know that is what it does to me.
If this has any consolation for you I do not think you are a loser.
I mean we all have different stories in life and consequences.
What I am trying to stay you are down in the dumps, then why are you
stomping on yourself. I do it too and thinking to myself. "Man I am my own worst enemy"

Yeah... I'm an eternal optimist... You're so right... But I'm much to old to change my ways. Just the way I am, and that explains at least one factor why I am still single too. Nobody likes to be around someone who is depressed and rips on themselves all the time. I'm guilty as charged! Cheers!

 

[Abby]

Abbey I think it's wrong to put a label on your son from now.... even if you are sure that your son has 100% inherited SA from you,it is a good time right now to start fighting with it .

i agree with you, Gazelle - being his parent makes me feel overwhelmed with wanting to protect him from the world...especially seeing as how i was treated when i was a kid by my parents and teachers - because they didn't know...and his teachers *still* don't totally "get it" - but they're much less harsh on him than mine were on me.

btw, i only discovered that i had NLD after years of research, and finally figuring out that *he* did - at age 10. due to his inability to handle school in 6th grade, against the strong advice of doctors and my own family, i homeschooled him through middle school (aka "the zoo")...it turned out to be the best decision i ever made.

he entered public high school at the top of his 650+ student class - and went from being a chunky little kid to a 6', 155 pound, very handsome young man...not that it should matter how intelligent one is or what they look like - but unfortunately, it does to society...these days, no one picks on him, he has a great social life and a girlfriend (yikes). even so, it didn't make everything okay in his mind...as he now suffers from body dysmorphic disorder...although society now accepts him, he doesn't accept himself.

 

[gazelle]

.these days, no one picks on him, he has a great social life and a girlfriend (yikes). even so, it didn't make everything okay in his mind...as he now suffers from body dysmorphic disorder...although society now accepts him, he doesn't accept himself.

According to the things you said I find your son to be much more ahead than many SA sufferers.His BDD should mostly refer to his childhood body image that he has about himself being chunky as you mentioned and the good news is that it is totally curable as I used to have it in my teenage years also(due to being made fun of also in my school years) , not even being able to look at myself in the mirror most of the times and becoming very anxious in front of cameras and usually running away from them. But now I have come to the point of even enjoying myself at times when I look in the mirror as a result of changing my thinking patterns and obtaining a more mature perspective towards life.

 

[ali123]

Nope, it's not too late for me. Or any of us, I don't think. We just have to find it within us to know that there is something better out there, and we are deserving of it, and want to get it.
I'm working on stuff now............this time in a year i will be so different to how I am now, because I want to be. And the year after that, I'll be even better than a year from today. For me at least, it's all in my head

 

[lef09012]

I know exactly how you feel. My problem started when I was 15, then I'm over 30 now.
I don't know how to become confident being myself again.
Now while seeing a counselor, I'm trying a self help book. It's really good. Hope it works.

I don't think nothing is too late. It's really hard and tiring to fight against SA, but I want to believe I can overcome this.

 

[Newtype]

There's no old self for me to go back to. It's not like my old self was better than this. I was shy and never followed my heart. I just wanna discover what I'm capable of. In other words, I wanna get to know myself.

 

[hoddesdon]

No, it is not too late.

 

[M1tCh]

No, it is not too late. Sorry Hoddesdon.

 

[Moa]

I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I've missed out on a huge part of development from teenage years to early twenties. When I see pictures of old friends and all the fun they've had over the years and the growing up they've done, it gets me down. I will never get the time back and possibly never have those experiences. These kind of thoughts keep me awake at night. What if I never get it right? What will be the point in going on?

I'm in my early 30s now... I spent a lot of my teens and 20s hiding. It's easy to look back and regret how I've spent my time, but it doesn't serve any purpose. It just makes me feel bad. So I just look forward to the future. Sometimes the only way to fix things is to change your perspective, because really when it comes down to it, all we have is the thoughts in our minds.

 

[lostinadream]

Too late for what? People have fun and make friends everyday. No, you can't go back in time and re- live/experience life the way you ideally wanted to but thats no reason to ruin the rest of it. Its hard but you need to let go of the past and start fresh. I look at life after the realizasion of what was/is wrong with me as if I just moved to a new city where I know no one and start from there because for folks like us, thats pretty much the reality. Blind people who gain sight and deaf people who gain hearing don't waist time fretting over all the things they didn't see or hear, they just soak up the beautiful sights and sounds and live. Now that you know whats wrong, what you do from here on is your choice and the only way to have a happy and satisfying life is to just walk through the fire and trust me, its not real, just orange and yellow crate paper and a fan.

 

[Sora]

I'm in my early 30s now... I spent a lot of my teens and 20s hiding. It's easy to look back and regret how I've spent my time, but it doesn't serve any purpose. It just makes me feel bad. So I just look forward to the future. Sometimes the only way to fix things is to change your perspective, because really when it comes down to it, all we have is the thoughts in our minds.

Agreed with Moa!
How will you get anywhere if you are constantly looking over your shoulder? Don't let the past ruin you, everyday you have a new opportunity to make the life you want, it can be hard but you can do it and nothing easy is really worth having!

 

[upndwn]

I'm 33 and I didn't really start living until a few years ago when my treatment finally gave results. My main problem now isn't as much SP, but apathy. I just can't seem to get engaged in anything anymore. It feels like I've seen it all before and nothing is exciting anymore.