Is it too late for you?

[froghat]

Anyone else feel like your confidence is so badly beaten that the odds of you ever becoming your old self again is near zero? I've had problems ever since I was 15 and now I'm 28 and worse. Between the ages of 16-18 I managed to get a few friends and sort of have fun, but I never really got better. I mean, I was ok when I had friends to hide behind, but whenever it was one on one I was still a mess.

Is anyone in my situation? Is it too late? If not, I'm not sure how to fix it!!!! If you know the secret cure let me know!!!

 

[persona]

Deleted...

 

[Hellhound]

Part of me thinks I'm screwed, other part still has some hope.

 

[redski]

You couldn't have said it better (thread title).
Yes, the greater part of me thinks it's to late for me.
To get rid of my SA, get a girlfriend and some kind of a relationship.

I feel that I have waited to long and I am so far gone that it's too late.

It's really a horrible feeling.

 

[planemo]

I feel that too much damage has been done, and that for me to be anything other than an outsider is impossible. Even if my anxiety is curbed and my social phobia is less, I will still feel as if I'm not the same as those group of people I will try to form part of.

 

[dooby-duck]

As time goes on the wall I need to get over seems to grow and grow. While I was at school and uni I was forced to meet pepople all the time. This continuous interaction seems to make it a lot easier. I had a quite a few friends back then. Now it's all down to me and I can't often find the courage to do it. It's like there is a big void that I need to hide from people.

 

[DeathMetal]

This is the only lifestyle I know, I have been this way my entire life.

 

[combat]

Maybe I'm generalizing too much, but I think the problem for a lot of SAers is that we actually enjoy being alone... or are at least very complacent with it. It's hard to do something when the motivation just isn't there. ::

I hate being alone. I used to be OK with it but I'm not anymore and now all it does is depress me. ::

 

[FinalSolution]

Its not too late, its never too late!

 

[Shift]

I'm feeling that way right now, actually. I'm just getting worse and worse and I don't know how to be the person I used to be anymore. I've never been social or outgoing, but I used to be okay with my friends and lately I've been having a hard time talking to them and even they make me nervous now.

 

[iamthenra]

I have felt that way since I was in my teens... I feel it's too late for me to achieve my dream of getting married, and if I had wanted children it would be WAY too late for that...at my age. I'm 41 going to be 42 this year, and with no experience with the opposite sex, I fear that my lack of experience will chase away what little hope I had left.... I mean what woman in her right mind would want to train in a old 41 year old guy, that still lives with his mom and has no job (albeit I'm in college going to try to become a nurse...) Just looking at me from the outside as a stranger would, I sure look and sound like a complete looser. Not dating material that's for sure. And with my positive attitude, Oh my I am such a great catch... Yeah right.... NOT!

 

[nopark]

Yes, it does feel like it's "too late." Though not so much a feeling of the impossibility of getting over SA -- I'd like to believe that's possible. I just feel like I've wasted (am wasting) some of the best years of my life. I'm 21 and haven't done a lot of the things I wanted to. I am envious of my friends whenever I feel sadistic enough to torture myself looking through facebook.

I suppose age is a relative thing of course. In 5 years I'll have new priorities and passions, I guess. But right this instant I've got a deep dread that I've just blown my opportunity in the world.

 

[Miami]

Its not too late, its never too late!

ditto!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lorraine Manca]

i've always been "avoidant" if thats the right word, and i know i've missed out on being close to people, and probably will always miss out on that in the future. its only realistic to predict i will never have a family. missing out on meaningful parts of life is never going to give any of us a warm fuzzy feeling, no matter how positive we become. i think its important to accept that it sucks, but there's more to life than friends and family, thats just two pieces of a huge puzzle that makes up the world. i always have to remind myself that, or else i'd be too sad to move

 

[BlueDays]

Have since come to realise that what I previously said was err........a pile of bull droppings!! :/

 

[Dronee]

There's no old self for me. I used to think there was, but I see now that that is a lie. I was always the person with absolutely no self-esteem. That hasn't really changed, nor do I think that it will change in the future. I will just have to carry on trying to improve myself. Make the best of things.

 

[Kitana]

I remember my "old self" in highschool.. I was more talkative, and joked around a lot. I would do anything to get a laugh out of my friends -- because in my mind, thats all I had going for me.. I was "funny". I remember the night before prom.. my friends and I went to the drama departments "yard sale" and we bought a bunch of really ugly, ratty old wigs. Than, we went cruising down O' street (where all the bars are). I hung myself halfway out the window, waving the wig in the air screaming "FRANK LOST HIS HAIR". everybody laughed -- even some drunkards on the street.

But I'm not that person anymore.. don't think I ever will be. Not sure what changed inside of me.. but that part of me is all gone. I still hope that someday.. I might have a moment like that again -- that spark of confidence.. some day.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I'm also 28, but I've never had a social life. At this point, though, I do kind of feel like it's too late. I do still have a bit of hope left, but I'll never be able to make up for all the lost time & get on track with the rest of my "peers." I'll always be leap years behind, no matter what I do.

 

[redski]

...And with my positive attitude, Oh my I am such a great catch... Yeah right.... NOT!

You know amthenra as much as I can relate to you I really dislike
it when people dump on themselves. Yes, I am not perfect because I do it as well but doesn't dumping on yourself make you feel worse about yourself.
I know that is what it does to me.
If this has any consolation for you I do not think you are a loser.
I mean we all have different stories in life and consequences.
What I am trying to stay you are down in the dumps, then why are you
stomping on yourself. I do it too and thinking to myself. "Man I am my own worst enemy"

I'm also 28, but I've never had a social life. At this point, though, I do kind of feel like it's too late. I do still have a bit of hope left, but I'll never be able to make up for all the lost time & get on track with the rest of my "peers." I'll always be leap years behind, no matter what I do.

Yeah, I have this feeling to and I hate it. See here I am dumping on myself.

 

[gazelle]

Having a bad day at work feeling like I don't exist anymore I do feel it's too late right now .The worst kind of loneliness is to be invisible among poeple.....despite this horrible feeling I have I still do believe that it's wrong to despair.