If you met an SA person, will you be less anxious?
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lydia cheung
New member
I will be the one initiating a conversation with the person.
I love talking to SA people because i know deep inside them, there are more to discover rather than people who are super sociable.
SA people are chatty deep inside.
im someone with SA deep inside too, but when it comes to close fwds and people i like, im fine.
I love talking to SA people because i know deep inside them, there are more to discover rather than people who are super sociable.
SA people are chatty deep inside.
im someone with SA deep inside too, but when it comes to close fwds and people i like, im fine.
If you gave yourself the time to talk to them you would.
Just like what you want from everyday people for them to spend time to understand you.
What I should metion this would also depend on what stage of SA their at.
The person who understands what it takes to control SA would make you feel less anxious.
Just like what you want from everyday people for them to spend time to understand you.
What I should metion this would also depend on what stage of SA their at.
The person who understands what it takes to control SA would make you feel less anxious.
DespairSoul
Well-known member
Good question
Depends on which level of anxiety would that person be exactly as Phoenixxx said.
Well i would be anxious with anyone who i don't know so well and i will admit my issues openly that i have SA. After time and some talk i would relax more if we better know each other. Also can a lot influence me the place where we are meeting this is for me to very important. Must be not the person what will make me anxious but also environment around us.
Depends on which level of anxiety would that person be exactly as Phoenixxx said.Well i would be anxious with anyone who i don't know so well and i will admit my issues openly that i have SA. After time and some talk i would relax more if we better know each other. Also can a lot influence me the place where we are meeting this is for me to very important. Must be not the person what will make me anxious but also environment around us.
Hottie
Well-known member
Hmmmmmmm thats a good question. Im not sure...
i think that if you knew the person was socially anxious you may struggle if you first met them for ex, meeting up with someone from here would cause alot of anxiety, talking to somebody who you first met in group therapy for ex, would be less anxiey producing for me (even thought id be really anxious still!), or if you knew the person for a long time, there would be less anxiety.
If we are socially anxious, then we are going to be anxious around people no matter what. I think how anxious id be would all depend on other factors that may contribute (like i mentioned before).
And yes i would be friends with me as i am a good person
i think that if you knew the person was socially anxious you may struggle if you first met them for ex, meeting up with someone from here would cause alot of anxiety, talking to somebody who you first met in group therapy for ex, would be less anxiey producing for me (even thought id be really anxious still!), or if you knew the person for a long time, there would be less anxiety.
If we are socially anxious, then we are going to be anxious around people no matter what. I think how anxious id be would all depend on other factors that may contribute (like i mentioned before).
And yes i would be friends with me as i am a good person
Streifen
Well-known member
It depends on the personality of the person, I think. Socially anxious people I have met have generally had gentle, easy-going demeanors, but there is one person I remember hanging around with for awhile who was so quiet and non-assertive that I felt uncomfortable around him. He was polite, but not really "friendly", if that makes sense. I've met others who were a bit too resentful and negative to hang around, as well. So it varies just like for people without SA, I think.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I have done this and I find that with certain people it means more quiet more anxious, with others it means understanding and more comfort. Some SAs I find can be very judgmental as a defense mechanism, others are extremely understanding in a refreshing way that I appreciate more than I can express. At the same time, if I respect the person who is extra understanding then I feel intimdated by their.... amazingness, and it makes me feel more inadequate. So in the end everything is even and I would say that it depends on you. Either way I don't end up acting like myself too much, but... ya'know.. that takes time in any circumstance.
If I was around me I would be incredibly anxious. I can be deathly judgmental when I hate myself, and I can be very understanding loving and accepting when I re-learn to nurture and accept myself. So again it depends
If I was around me I would be incredibly anxious. I can be deathly judgmental when I hate myself, and I can be very understanding loving and accepting when I re-learn to nurture and accept myself. So again it depends
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Falkor
1
I would be less anxious, because I know people with SA don't judge too fast.
People with SA are very understanding, I love that about these people.
Even though it might be awkward with a lot of silences,
I think I like it better than having a conversation with a superior chatter.
Like Lydia Cheung said, SA-ers can chat too, they have a chatting mind deep inside, Look at this forum, everyone talks so much,we sure know what to say
We just feel anxious, but I guess we can comfort eachother, because we know what it is like, to feel that way ^_^ I think I would be less anxious!
People with SA are very understanding, I love that about these people.
Even though it might be awkward with a lot of silences,
I think I like it better than having a conversation with a superior chatter.
Like Lydia Cheung said, SA-ers can chat too, they have a chatting mind deep inside, Look at this forum, everyone talks so much,we sure know what to say
We just feel anxious, but I guess we can comfort eachother, because we know what it is like, to feel that way ^_^ I think I would be less anxious!
LonelyWonders
Well-known member
Well a socially anxious person, i'd be slightly more relaxed, although still really nervous and anxious. If I met me i'd probably punch me.. Alot o.o
Shant
Well-known member
I think that for one thing, I wouldn't fear saying the wrong thing, assuming the other SA person also knows I have SA.
I imagine it would start off with something unusual like, "Yes, we both have SA. Okay? It's all right to be anxious; I can't judge you for this since I'm the same way. At least here and now, it's okay to feel like this. At the very least, don't feel like less of a person because of this. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the conversation." I might still be anxious, but I'd feel like less of a bad person or something because of it, which in itself might actually reduce some anxiety anyways.
I imagine it would start off with something unusual like, "Yes, we both have SA. Okay? It's all right to be anxious; I can't judge you for this since I'm the same way. At least here and now, it's okay to feel like this. At the very least, don't feel like less of a person because of this. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the conversation." I might still be anxious, but I'd feel like less of a bad person or something because of it, which in itself might actually reduce some anxiety anyways.
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diagonal_mambo
Member
It's difficult to say. On the one hand, an extrovert can keep a conversation alive. I like talking to them for that reason. There aren't as many awkward silences, and they're easier to get out of.
On the other hand, I don't feel that someone with SA would think me boring, and the awkward silences would, in a sense, be less awkward, since they would be feeling the same discomfort as I am, and, like me, they are not judging the other person for being so quiet, but trying to think of some way to get the conversation going.
Then, of course, there's the connection. A conversation with an extrovert might keep going, but I'd have less in common with them. Aside from our interpersonal skills, there's a much lower chance that they will be geeky, or be willing to indulge the fact that I am (my partner is an extrovert, and she will have none of it).
So, I would say that I would be more anxious, but I think I would prefer the encounter. I generally feel that people who are socially awkward would make better friends for me.
Also, if I met myself, I would totally be my friend. I wouldn't mind when I get nervous and start babbling about something geeky.
On the other hand, I don't feel that someone with SA would think me boring, and the awkward silences would, in a sense, be less awkward, since they would be feeling the same discomfort as I am, and, like me, they are not judging the other person for being so quiet, but trying to think of some way to get the conversation going.
Then, of course, there's the connection. A conversation with an extrovert might keep going, but I'd have less in common with them. Aside from our interpersonal skills, there's a much lower chance that they will be geeky, or be willing to indulge the fact that I am (my partner is an extrovert, and she will have none of it).
So, I would say that I would be more anxious, but I think I would prefer the encounter. I generally feel that people who are socially awkward would make better friends for me.
Also, if I met myself, I would totally be my friend. I wouldn't mind when I get nervous and start babbling about something geeky.
Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
I think I would feel a lot more relaxed.
With someone suffering from a similar condition you don't have to worry about those awkward subjects like not having a couple or not doing many social activities.
In a way, it would mean a leveled playing field and having experienced similar situations you would have a greater chance of bonding at a deeper level.
With someone suffering from a similar condition you don't have to worry about those awkward subjects like not having a couple or not doing many social activities.
In a way, it would mean a leveled playing field and having experienced similar situations you would have a greater chance of bonding at a deeper level.
Lostinthemusic
Well-known member
This has actually happened to me before. I felt I had a deeper connection with the person, but I still wasn't really able to talk to them in any meaningful way. There were some other factors that made that difficult in this particular situation.
Since being on this site I've also noticed other people who seem shy and I tend to feel more comfortable being around them, even if conversation is lacking. If I can assume that they are like me I have a much easier time being myself.
Since being on this site I've also noticed other people who seem shy and I tend to feel more comfortable being around them, even if conversation is lacking. If I can assume that they are like me I have a much easier time being myself.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
If I meet someone who I know for certain has SA, then I am definitely less anxious because I know that any silences or awkward pauses on my part won't be seen as weird. Because of that, the pressure to be "social" becomes less, and I will tend to be myself and at ease far more quickly than I would ordinarily.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I can be like that too once I am comfortable around someone, so the other person would probably only be silent because they couldn't get a word in.