honeydippedxo
Well-known member
if you have children will they end up with sa? is it genetic? or can you "raise" them to have it? Like "mommy doesnt talk to people so i dont either."
if you have kids will they have sa too?
- Thread starter honeydippedxo
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Nah, social anxiety/phobia isn't genetic. Don't worry. :3
They can be more naturally sensitive then others, though. But that's no different to each kid having his/her own personality. The sensitive one will most likely be more.. well.. sensitive, to develop social anxiety/phobia under unfortunate circumstances.
Kids have a tendency to copy their parents at young age in terms of speech, mannerisms and even point of view (but not always, I sure didn't). The phrase ''Do as I say, and not as I do'' doesn't always work. Actually, it will most likely cause more stress on the child as it forces them to ignore their natural instinct to copy their parents.
But it should be fine as long as the child is brought up with discipline, comfort and boundaries. Stimulating their intellect and creativity is also recommended.
Though, I must add that I don't have much practical experience with raising children, but I've rarely seen these methods fail.
They can be more naturally sensitive then others, though. But that's no different to each kid having his/her own personality. The sensitive one will most likely be more.. well.. sensitive, to develop social anxiety/phobia under unfortunate circumstances.
Kids have a tendency to copy their parents at young age in terms of speech, mannerisms and even point of view (but not always, I sure didn't). The phrase ''Do as I say, and not as I do'' doesn't always work. Actually, it will most likely cause more stress on the child as it forces them to ignore their natural instinct to copy their parents.
But it should be fine as long as the child is brought up with discipline, comfort and boundaries. Stimulating their intellect and creativity is also recommended.
Though, I must add that I don't have much practical experience with raising children, but I've rarely seen these methods fail.
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honeydippedxo
Well-known member
Wheew! good. i would not want to give anyone this curse. id never forgive myself.
Honda
Well-known member
U know i just found out on time that i inherited my SA from my father.. He hated himself for having a f**ked up family that outcasted him... But I learned one thing from him, the fact he always lives in the past lets him down everyday and drains alot of his energy... I hate that in him and sometimes I hate him for doing so but whatever it is I will not be like that... I mean the man is recently 60 and he acts like he's 80 already, he's discouraged, sick of life, bored, disgusted and always sits down and thinks of the bad past and his ****ty family.. I found out he's making himself like that..
If my kids will ever inherit my faults then i will make sure i teach them to accept them and overcome them but I will always act as that role model that is strong and confident, hence wont show them that i have that problem.. Who knows maybe in a couple of years ill be a different person..
If my kids will ever inherit my faults then i will make sure i teach them to accept them and overcome them but I will always act as that role model that is strong and confident, hence wont show them that i have that problem.. Who knows maybe in a couple of years ill be a different person..
honeydippedxo
Well-known member
so i guess it could go either way then. well i hope i can teach them different than i was taught and treat them well hopefully it will over power my bad genes. i dont know my biological father but my mom says all the time "you are your fathers child." he didnt raise me at all though so i feel if im like him it must be genetic but like i said i dont know him so idk if my mom is just talkin crap.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I did a presentation for school on Social Phobia my senior year of high school and from what I remember the two main causes of SA are genetic and the environmental. Found the PowerPoint and yup. (Not that I'm an expert)
Unfortunately I can't find my flashcards but from what I can remember, due to genes some people are just quieter, more reserved, have a shy temperament. On a biological level there is neurotransmitters not working quite right, there signals getting blocked and stuff like that. Also an overactive amygdala which controls our fears.
Then on a more environmental level there's bad experiences (i.e. bullying, rejection) that would push us away from social situations. Also lack of social opportunities, an environment an overprotective parent may set.
The greatest effect a SA parent may have on a child is the monkey see monkey do problem. Parents are role models and where kids learn a lot of there behaviors from, so if a parent acts shy they child may as well.This isn't a direct correlation with SA, and it's usually a mix of these things.
Unfortunately I can't find my flashcards but from what I can remember, due to genes some people are just quieter, more reserved, have a shy temperament. On a biological level there is neurotransmitters not working quite right, there signals getting blocked and stuff like that. Also an overactive amygdala which controls our fears.
Then on a more environmental level there's bad experiences (i.e. bullying, rejection) that would push us away from social situations. Also lack of social opportunities, an environment an overprotective parent may set.
The greatest effect a SA parent may have on a child is the monkey see monkey do problem. Parents are role models and where kids learn a lot of there behaviors from, so if a parent acts shy they child may as well.This isn't a direct correlation with SA, and it's usually a mix of these things.
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Honda
Well-known member
^ Well monkey see, monkey do isnt necessarily right but somehow subconsciously it affects.. My dad used to spoil me alot, leave me on my own and make me feel like the world is a heaven thinking he's compensating for what his family deprived him from. He hates being negative or basically tries to infront of me.. He hates to see a family fight break out as it reminds him of the past.. He hates talking about things that make him feel bad..
How i was? I was too scared from social contact along with bullying it got worse and I isolated myself from the world more and more. I started hating my father when I was a teenager assuming he's a coward like me and that I ended up like him.
I still hate his behavior till now btw. I sometimes wished he was more strict, I sometimes wish if at least I see some aggression from his side just a bit.. He just keeps all this negative energy inside him and never lets it out and it just makes him feel worse.. I stopped listening to him for quite sometime because I feel he's powerless and weak and that his judgment is clouded by such matters, basically stopped trusting his wisdom... He hated the fact i reject his advise, opinion or help cuz it makes him feel worthless or such..
Maybe he wasnt perfect or right but I thank him with all my heart for trying his best.. When i become a father I will be anything but my father, I will be better than him, more strict and more realistic.. I will teach my kids self reliance and responsibility at a young age.. I wont let SA grow on them now that we understand it better..
How i was? I was too scared from social contact along with bullying it got worse and I isolated myself from the world more and more. I started hating my father when I was a teenager assuming he's a coward like me and that I ended up like him.
I still hate his behavior till now btw. I sometimes wished he was more strict, I sometimes wish if at least I see some aggression from his side just a bit.. He just keeps all this negative energy inside him and never lets it out and it just makes him feel worse.. I stopped listening to him for quite sometime because I feel he's powerless and weak and that his judgment is clouded by such matters, basically stopped trusting his wisdom... He hated the fact i reject his advise, opinion or help cuz it makes him feel worthless or such..
Maybe he wasnt perfect or right but I thank him with all my heart for trying his best.. When i become a father I will be anything but my father, I will be better than him, more strict and more realistic.. I will teach my kids self reliance and responsibility at a young age.. I wont let SA grow on them now that we understand it better..
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Well in psychology it's called a learned behavior. It isn't an exact thing, like everything a kid see's a parent does he or she reciprocates. There's a lot more too it than what I said, but often times we act the way we do based on a role model and by observing how they act. At a young age, like >5, it's usually our parent or guardian, and at that age (depending on what theory you believe) we are at a point at which we are sort of blank slates and are very curious, looking at others to see how to act and such.
Forgotten-Children
Well-known member
I don't think social anxiety itself is genetic but things like Autism/Asperger Syndrome is.
As far timidness, that would have to be "learned" because if the parents don't teach the child to play with other children, there can be social problems. Not to mention any possible bully problems during school. There're a lot of things that can create social anxiety.
As far timidness, that would have to be "learned" because if the parents don't teach the child to play with other children, there can be social problems. Not to mention any possible bully problems during school. There're a lot of things that can create social anxiety.
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MsBuzzkillington
Well-known member
Just my personal beliefs, I haven't done any actual research, but I don't think it's something you pass down. I think it's something you learn.
There could definitely be chemical imbalances that make the problem worse, but that's nothing you can pass down onto your child.
But it's like, if your parent is scared of everything and always anxious, you have a higher chance of developing those "habits" too. If they are scared of letting you go out of the house, or afraid of you getting dirty and "germy", eventually you are going to feel the same way too. It's not always, it's not exact, just a higher risked thing.
I would say, that if you are going to have kids, make sure that you get to the point of where you can sort of "let them go." And not teach them your anxieties. Even if it really terrifies you to let them do this or that, just let them do it anyway. Of course, getting therapy and having people there to support you along the way is always a good idea.
There are a lot of bad things that I picked up from my mom. I am no where near as anxious as she is on a daily basis, but I am still too scared to do many things because she never let me do them as a kid. So I never really got to grow and expand.
There could definitely be chemical imbalances that make the problem worse, but that's nothing you can pass down onto your child.
But it's like, if your parent is scared of everything and always anxious, you have a higher chance of developing those "habits" too. If they are scared of letting you go out of the house, or afraid of you getting dirty and "germy", eventually you are going to feel the same way too. It's not always, it's not exact, just a higher risked thing.
I would say, that if you are going to have kids, make sure that you get to the point of where you can sort of "let them go." And not teach them your anxieties. Even if it really terrifies you to let them do this or that, just let them do it anyway. Of course, getting therapy and having people there to support you along the way is always a good idea.
There are a lot of bad things that I picked up from my mom. I am no where near as anxious as she is on a daily basis, but I am still too scared to do many things because she never let me do them as a kid. So I never really got to grow and expand.
Mokkat
Well-known member
According to science, genetics do have some part in it, as well as the environment. But dont worry - simply the fact that you are on this website and acknowledging your flaws from SA will mean you have alot more reflection on your identity and how you act around/what you will pass on to the child in its upbringing.
My dad has always been very reserved and "traditional" and I feel like he has never really recognized my interests or actions with more than simple acknowledgement. I have a weak identity and therefore I now cannot fathom studying anything in the field of computers or music, that are my hobbies - and it pains me.
I will be aware of my discipline and praising the interests of my kids - if I ever have any
I'll probably be the most depressed man in the world if I get to turn 40 and my mind realizes that Ive never had a girlfriend or kids
My dad has always been very reserved and "traditional" and I feel like he has never really recognized my interests or actions with more than simple acknowledgement. I have a weak identity and therefore I now cannot fathom studying anything in the field of computers or music, that are my hobbies - and it pains me.
I will be aware of my discipline and praising the interests of my kids - if I ever have any
I'll probably be the most depressed man in the world if I get to turn 40 and my mind realizes that Ive never had a girlfriend or kids
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Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
I really hope not! My child can get shy with strangers at first, but then she warms up to them rather quickly. I was a shy child and it took me a bit to warm up to others as well. I hope to God that my kid won't develop SA. At least, I'll know the signs and I'll be able to nip this in the bud.