I need advice on guy trouble and stuff!! just please help!! i need perspective!

[Andria_La La]

i'm so pissed that the guy i would spend my life with thinks of me as his little sister sometimes sometimes*, well he said that a long time ago (just to make me forget about him) yet, but he's always asking me to have sex with him! and he thinks that instead of actually loving him, i just want to be with him cuz i need someone to talk to cuz i don't talk to anyone--i'm here cuz i think i do have SAD but i havent been diagnosed--and i admit i am lonely and needy, and i want attention, but that's not why i want to have his babies!--wat u think? he does make me happy but he's stressing me out by pressuring me to have sex wit him. and he kinda tries to make a deal wit me or something like, i think he actually said, he'd be my Boyfriend if i have sex or he'd promise to do other things if i sleep wit him. it's not that i dont want to but i haven't done IT before, he hasn't either, but i'm just not ready, and i've told him. he's so ****ing desperate my god. i dont know what to do i constantly keep telling him no. since i dont wanna have sex he says i dont love him, is that really FAIR? i was totally hurt when he said that--so wat u guys think i should do? do u agree with him or me? help! please!

 

[da_illest101]

most guys will say anything to have sex, simple as that. Seriously do u think he care about u that much if all he want to is to have sex with u? I know ppl can get deseperate when they are lonely, but do not lose yourself into it

 

[Dronee]

I think you shouldn't indulge him. It seems as if he is only interested in your body.

 

[Emily_G]

Sounds like a loser.

Also, how can he view you as his little sister then want to have sex with you? Grossssssss

 

[mummylala]

I think you shouldn't indulge him. It seems as if he is only interested in your body.

I totally agree, it seems like he is only interested in the one thing, please please dont give in just to keep him happy, i know quite a few people who have done this and it destroys them

 

[market.garden]

I think you shouldn't indulge him. It seems as if he is only interested in your body.

Agreed, it sounds like you'd be better off with someone who cares about you as a person, not just their own needs.

 

[Danfalc]

Like others have said he only seems to care about one thing and is using you imo,and you deserve someone better than that.

 

[userremoved]

Never let anyone pressure you into sex. Thats something that should be enjoyed by both people participating.

 

[Ignace]

If he's pressuring you to have sex, he's not worth it, don't wanna say this but watch out for this guy. Maybe he takes advantage of you.

 

[Hellhound]

Be careful. He doesn't seem he truly loves you, more like he only wants sex and that's all. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't pressure you so much. Plus, the fact that he said "if you don't want this, then you don't love me" sounds like manipulation to me. I say... think carefully if you really want to be with this dude, there's other guys out there who are much nicer and respectful. And don't do anything if you don't want to, no matter how much crap he talks.

Oh, and he doesn't see you as his little sister. That's some crap he's saying to cover up the fact that he only wants sex. He sounds like a manipulator jerk.

 

[black-wings]

1. having sex in return for favors (i feel personally) is selling out.
2. if HE loved you, he'd respect your wishes to wait.

Don't feel guilty and keep an eye on this guy. Sounds pretty shady.

 

[ughih8ocd]

Speaking from a guys point of view, If you were my girlfriend and I mentioned having sex and you declined, I'd be fine with that.

But you have to understand he is a human and he is a male, and he is horny, He wants to be intimate with you, and if you constantly keep saying no to him, he's eventually going to cheat on you or end it with you and find some other girl who will give him what he wants.

I doubt he just wants you for sex, if he stuck around this long, He does care about you and he doesn't just want sex, but in the end, you have to pleasure him some how.

just my 2 cents.

 

[chained]

maniplautive and douche..

 

[Hellhound]

But you have to understand he is a human and he is a male, and he is horny, He wants to be intimate with you, and if you constantly keep saying no to him, he's eventually going to cheat on you or end it with you and find some other girl who will give him what he wants.

I doubt he just wants you for sex, if he stuck around this long, He does care about you and he doesn't just want sex, but in the end, you have to pleasure him some how.

just my 2 cents.

What kind of advice is that? :/ She does NOT have to pleasure him. She should NOT feel forced to have sex and he should NOT pressure her. If the dude cheats on her or leaves her because she doesn't want to have sex, then do you really think he is a good partner? Seriously?.
She doesn't have to give him what he wants. She does NOT have to understand him. He is the only one who should understand her and be more respectful. But from what I see, he doesn't seem he is too respectful or too interested in her, except to use her. Being a couple means much more than just sex, love is beyond sex, both parts have to be ok with it and none should feel under pressure or do something they don't want to do. If she's not ready, the guy should be more understanding (of course, that assuming he loves her). I think she deserves better.

Oh, and I'm sorry if I sound pissy. I don't intend to attack or anything. I just find it very unfair that she has to pleasure the guy or else he dumps her, or worse... cheats on her. I find such behavior disgusting. She should not go through such pressure for his sake. It's just not f***ing fair.

 

[ughih8ocd]

What kind of advice is that? :/ She does NOT have to pleasure him. She should NOT feel forced to have sex and he should NOT pressure her. If the dude cheats on her or leaves her because she doesn't want to have sex, then do you really think he is a good partner? Seriously?.
She doesn't have to give him what he wants. She does NOT have to understand him. He is the only one who should understand her and be more respectful. But from what I see, he doesn't seem he is too respectful or too interested in her, except to use her. Being a couple means much more than just sex, love is beyond sex, both parts have to be ok with it and none should feel under pressure or do something they don't want to do. If she's not ready, the guy should be more understanding (of course, that assuming he loves her). I think she deserves better.

Oh, and I'm sorry if I sound pissy. I don't intend to attack or anything. I just find it very unfair that she has to pleasure the guy or else he dumps her, or worse... cheats on her. I find such behavior disgusting. She should not go through such pressure for his sake. It's just not f***ing fair.

I understand everything you've said and I respect it.
But if they have been dating for a long time, and it seems they have (I might have misread the OP post) but for example if you've been dating for more than 2 years and havent had sex, I don't see why you're still together, yeah there is love and being together and understanding each other, and all that good stuff, but if you're in a long term relationship and no sex? In my own opinion that's a relationship that's not worth being in.
Being a guy myself I have urges and I want to have sex, I've waited I think it was six months before my girlfriend was ready to have sex, and after we did it, It made us even closer together.

I am faithful towards my girl, but there are boyfriends out there who will cheat on their girlfriends who don't get any intimacy from their significant other.

I'm not saying "GIVE HIM SEX NOW!!1!" but you can do other things to divert his attention from sexual intercourse, give him a little kiss, tell him you love him, hold his hand, cuddle, snuggle, all these things take my mind of sex when my babygirl does that to me.

I don't know how OP's boyfriend is, or how he treats her, but I do believe he loves her, and he just wants to be intimate.



No need to be sorry for anything, I respect your post.

 

[Felgen]

i'm so pissed that the guy i would spend my life with thinks of me as his little sister sometimes sometimes*, well he said that a long time ago (just to make me forget about him) yet, but he's always asking me to have sex with him! and he thinks that instead of actually loving him, i just want to be with him cuz i need someone to talk to cuz i don't talk to anyone--i'm here cuz i think i do have SAD but i havent been diagnosed--and i admit i am lonely and needy, and i want attention, but that's not why i want to have his babies!--wat u think? he does make me happy but he's stressing me out by pressuring me to have sex wit him. and he kinda tries to make a deal wit me or something like, i think he actually said, he'd be my Boyfriend if i have sex or he'd promise to do other things if i sleep wit him. it's not that i dont want to but i haven't done IT before, he hasn't either, but i'm just not ready, and i've told him. he's so ****ing desperate my god. i dont know what to do i constantly keep telling him no. since i dont wanna have sex he says i dont love him, is that really FAIR? i was totally hurt when he said that--so wat u guys think i should do? do u agree with him or me? help! please!

To me, it seems like he's objectifying you. If you always let him have his way, he'll continue to objectify you.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

to be blunt, he just sounds like he doesn't love your or care about you.. and you don't need to be with anyone like that.. why would you want to?

it's very simple, people who love each other care for and respect each other's feelings. what he wants from you is sex. if you don't want to have detached sex with him, then you don't need to be with him... just break it off, girl.. there will be many more men in your life you could treat you better, you just don't deserve to be treated like that.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I understand everything you've said and I respect it.
But if they have been dating for a long time, and it seems they have (I might have misread the OP post) but for example if you've been dating for more than 2 years and havent had sex, I don't see why you're still together, yeah there is love and being together and understanding each other, and all that good stuff, but if you're in a long term relationship and no sex? In my own opinion that's a relationship that's not worth being in.
Being a guy myself I have urges and I want to have sex, I've waited I think it was six months before my girlfriend was ready to have sex, and after we did it, It made us even closer together.

I am faithful towards my girl, but there are boyfriends out there who will cheat on their girlfriends who don't get any intimacy from their significant other.

I'm not saying "GIVE HIM SEX NOW!!1!" but you can do other things to divert his attention from sexual intercourse, give him a little kiss, tell him you love him, hold his hand, cuddle, snuggle, all these things take my mind of sex when my babygirl does that to me.

I don't know how OP's boyfriend is, or how he treats her, but I do believe he loves her, and he just wants to be intimate.



No need to be sorry for anything, I respect your post.

I'm with Hellchica on this. Perhaps you should read the original post more carefully--they haven't been dating for two years or whatever. He's saying he will be her boyfriend if she has sex with him. It also doesn't sound like there's any love or understanding on the guy's part. She's really into him; wants to spend her life, have his babies, etc. All she's said about him is he wants to bang her, and is using any manipulation/pressure tactics available to achieve this. How are you getting that he loves her from that?

She's certainly under no obligation to give him anything, even in an established relationship.

 

[Silentknight]

I understand everything you've said and I respect it.
But if they have been dating for a long time, and it seems they have (I might have misread the OP post) but for example if you've been dating for more than 2 years and havent had sex, I don't see why you're still together, yeah there is love and being together and understanding each other, and all that good stuff, but if you're in a long term relationship and no sex? In my own opinion that's a relationship that's not worth being in.
Being a guy myself I have urges and I want to have sex, I've waited I think it was six months before my girlfriend was ready to have sex, and after we did it, It made us even closer together.

I am faithful towards my girl, but there are boyfriends out there who will cheat on their girlfriends who don't get any intimacy from their significant other.

I'm not saying "GIVE HIM SEX NOW!!1!" but you can do other things to divert his attention from sexual intercourse, give him a little kiss, tell him you love him, hold his hand, cuddle, snuggle, all these things take my mind of sex when my babygirl does that to me.

I don't know how OP's boyfriend is, or how he treats her, but I do believe he loves her, and he just wants to be intimate.



No need to be sorry for anything, I respect your post.

Ok I hate reading these types of posts saying all guys care about is sex and it's in our nature to cheat if we don't get any. I'm 18 I'm a virgin and I have been single for three years by your logic I would be dying to have sex but I'm not and not because I'm some religious type cause I'm atheist but because of a thing called self control. Yea I'm sure sex is great I hope to one day have it but I'm not gonna pressure the next girl I date into sex and I sure as hell won't cheat on her over sex.

To any females reading this post don't believe the lies many guys say that it's in their nature to have sex any way they can get it and that you need to pleasure him to keep him around even if it's been two years if your not comfortable with sex DON'T DO IT simple as that and if the guy is angry about it you don't want to be with him anyways because those type of guys WILL one day cheat on you.

 

[Emily_G]

Speaking from a guys point of view, If you were my girlfriend and I mentioned having sex and you declined, I'd be fine with that.

But you have to understand he is a human and he is a male, and he is horny, He wants to be intimate with you, and if you constantly keep saying no to him, he's eventually going to cheat on you or end it with you and find some other girl who will give him what he wants.

I doubt he just wants you for sex, if he stuck around this long, He does care about you and he doesn't just want sex, but in the end, you have to pleasure him some how.

just my 2 cents.

I couldn't be with a guy like that. If he cant wait for me, he's not worth it. Same goes for women...if they can't wait for a man, they are not worth it.