I hate being in public

[Livemylife]

I hate being in public because I can't stand the mingling among strangers. If I knew that I could just go from point A to point B unnoticed, I wouldn't mind being in public. But that's not possible.
A couple times a week I'll stop by a fast food place, Starbucks, etc to grab something to eat. I have no intention of doing anything else other than obtaining my food and consuming it. But if I stay in the restaurant to eat it, I'll probably end up catching someone looking at me. :thumbdown:
I hate interacting with the cashiers too. Now I don't even try to make eye contact with them. Yes this small bit of social interaction is effort to me. I have encountered some cashiers who seem to get annoyed with me if I'm not all friendly and smiley and they'll shove my change back at me!
Grocery shopping has become difficult as well. People will go down the aisle and stare at me while I'm looking at products, until I turn to look back at them. I will now only shop early in the morning.
I will limit my time in public as much as possible. . I will try to do grocery shopping early in the morning (7am) and go to the laundry mat on weekend evenings. I'll pack more foods/snacks with me to prevent stopping by restaurants. Of course, I still have to go to class everyday. I'll try to walk more often instead of riding the bus.
I am tired of strangers staring at me. I do not give a **** if they think I'm ugly, hot, sexy, whatever--just leave me alone!
And do any of you limit your time in public to certain hours/days?

 

[Livemylife]

Like an idiot, the day after I wrote this, I went to go get a couple slices of pizza. It was on a whim because I had gone back to campus.
The stupid mother****er next in line stared into my face the whole time I was ordering! I've realized unless you return the eye contact, the person WILL keep staring at you. Then at the bus stop this lady kept looking at me. What are you looking at? How about you stare at one of the two guys also waiting for the bus? I realized I won't ever be comfortable in public.

 

[dottie]

Staring is so rude and infuriating!

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I keep my outings confined to the early AM hours for these very same kinds of reasons.

Mostly, I HATE looking at people, eye-contact is like staring at the sun. I catch people giving me the fishy eye all the time, and you're right, if you don't look back they just gawk at you.

It's all very primal. They stare, which only draws MORE attention from others, who stare because they wonder what everybody else is staring at, and before you know it, you're the center attention, the outsider chimp who just wanted to buy a stinking doughnut.

 

[LittleGloves]

I seriously don't get why people kept looking at us? I mean is there something weird on our face or something? Like geez it's as if they look oh so perfect.

 

[Xervello]

Like an idiot, the day after I wrote this, I went to go get a couple slices of pizza. It was on a whim because I had gone back to campus.
The stupid mother****er next in line stared into my face the whole time I was ordering! I've realized unless you return the eye contact, the person WILL keep staring at you. Then at the bus stop this lady kept looking at me. What are you looking at? How about you stare at one of the two guys also waiting for the bus? I realized I won't ever be comfortable in public.

Is it possible your perception of how others see is playing tricks with you? I'm legitimately asking, not making a diagnosis. Is it possible that an extended look from someone, via your social phobia glasses, tells your brain that they're staring. Or if someone flippantly gives back your change at the register you're perceiving it worse than it is? Again, just asking. I'm hyper-aware and hypersensitive when in public, as well. I'm attuned to every look, every overheard voice, every body within my physical space as my brain churns out all the information deciphering whether or not this person or that person is staring, noticing, talking about me. A bit paranoid, I know, ha ha. And even if I think a person is happening to focus their attention on me, I don't necessarily consider it a negative thing. Just have to be careful of putting too much meaning behind people's social behaviors. That said, people can be ****s, too, with no social awareness as to how rude or awkward they're being. Though you're aware of your behavior, remember also that you get back from people what you give to 'em.

 

[Livemylife]

Is it possible your perception of how others see is playing tricks with you? I'm legitimately asking, not making a diagnosis. Is it possible that an extended look from someone, via your social phobia glasses, tells your brain that they're staring. Or if someone flippantly gives back your change at the register you're perceiving it worse than it is? Again, just asking. I'm hyper-aware and hypersensitive when in public, as well. I'm attuned to every look, every overheard voice, every body within my physical space as my brain churns out all the information deciphering whether or not this person or that person is staring, noticing, talking about me. A bit paranoid, I know, ha ha. And even if I think a person is happening to focus their attention on me, I don't necessarily consider it a negative thing. Just have to be careful of putting too much meaning behind people's social behaviors. That said, people can be ****s, too, with no social awareness as to how rude or awkward they're being. Though you're aware of your behavior, remember also that you get back from people what you give to 'em.

In fact, I do think I am hyperaware. I'm sure a lot of us here are. I find it hard to use "they don't know they're staring" as a reason. If anything it's that they just don't care. I'm supposed to be the socially clueless one, and even I know staring is rude.

As a nonsocial person, I've decided being in public is too much of a difficulty for me. I simply do not enjoy it. I'm sure there are many who do like being in public to people watch, scope out hot chicks, make small talk with strangers, point at losers, who knows. Me personally, I just want to get from point A to point B unnoticed. I realize that this may not be a reasonable goal for being in public, so I have concluded to just limit my time in public.
This may be an extreme solution, but I am pretty sure it is what will work best for me.

 

[Psychedelicious]

publicly

I understand the frustration you feel here, I feel quite similarly. Being in public, even just a grocery store or something like that creates mountains of physical stress on my body, and a mental state of panic. It'd be so nice to feel invisible. I know a lot of this may be irrational, but I can't help but feel people are negatively judging me, looking at me for strange reasons, or thinking I'm some kind of ugly weirdo/freak. It's probably the imaginary audience, realistically I know they probably don't care or notice me at all, but every time I go outside I can't help but feel like I'm being scrutinized by random strangers. Any bit of comfort or confidence I build up in my safe alone place always immediately vanishes once I step foot outside. I don't want these fears to turn into full blown agoraphobia for me, something I'm really afraid of happening. But how can you go out when it creates this much stress on your mind and body?

 

[Kiwong]

Wherever there is an auto check out I will use it at a supermarket. They have one at the post office too.

Sometimes being around people is too hard, and I feel a crushing weight around me just walking through the mall.

Some people pick up on my anxiety and strangeness and they do talk about me, look at me. It threatens to force me away from doing something I love. I am too afraid to talk, too afraid to look. It keeps me awake for weeks before a race.

 

[paperie]

People aren't paying as close attention to you as it might appear. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own world. It's in your head. If someone looks at you, it doesn't mean they are judging you or thinking awful things either. Everyone stares. I think the worst thing to do is to avoid these public situations, at least for myself it was. Just keep putting yourself out there.

 

[laure15]

I used to feel the same too about being in public, but now I try to push myself to go out as a learning experience. For example, I don't like being in crowded places because it feels like I'm being looked at from all sides. I feel even more self conscious if I'm wearing ugly clothes that make me feel less confident. However, if I sit at home all day, nothing gets done. My social anxiety doesn't benefit whatsoever. We have to change our mindsets. Everytime you go out in public, have an agenda in mind - practice speaking nicely to the cashier, do eye contact, get used to the staring (which is harmless by the way, and we all have unintentionally stared at other folks), etc. You can choose to make your social outings into educational learning experiences. Many people (former me included) take such social interactions for granted - do it, get it over with, move on - but this doesn't help for social anxiety/shyness sufferers. It only makes them more avoidant of social situations. But once you take that first step, it gets easier along the way.