I dislike pornography...

[nephatitus]

i will answer the topic question and say that you do indeed dislike pornography

yet you actively watch it

lots of different kinds

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I agree with Blue Teardrops's post.

I understand that a lot of people are more than sick of no1's posts, but I do believe that within the things he says there is an underlying truth. Don't look past everything.

 

[Danfalc]

I recently read about a study, (which I'll have to try to find again and post it here, sorry) in which they analyzed men's brains as the male subjects looked at provocative pictures of women in bikinis, versus when they looked at pictures of tools (e.g., a power drill) or pictures that are meant to evoke compassion. What they found was that these images of women in bikinis lit up the same part of the men's brains that also light up when men view images of tools.

I'm not dismissing what your saying or disagreeing with you,but honestly..What do you expect to happen If you show a guy provocative pictures?In my eyes it sounds like a test which was very biased imo.I'm not dismissing the fact that a lot of guys view females as sexual objects,the test doesn't sound very fair to me and the pictures sound like they were there to evoke sexuality,It would of been more interesting to show them pictures of females they knew,and meant something to them,Im sure if you put different images in front of them you would get a different reaction in the brain.Maybe female friends,in none provocative poses,female figures from history ect

 

[no1]

Re: sexual agression

Sweetie, I honestly think that the only problem you have is feeling inadequate in comparison to all those "masculine" men whom you think are considered more desirable by men and women alike.

You should probably stop worrying about what others want and be happy with who you are. So what if you're not perfect? No one is! There have been plenty of men who didn't like me for one reason or another. I'm not exactly every guy's first choice because of my ethnicity. So who cares if the majority of the world prefers caucasian beauty? A couple of weekends ago, my Philippin friend and I went to a pub. Two guys walked in and one looks at us and scoffs, "The Asian persuasion". I just laughed at him. Needless to say that his friend looked embrrassed.

So what if the men I went out with rejected me and ended up dating bimbos? Maybe they didn't like or couldn't relate to the things that I had to say.

The majority of men whom I've met prefer voluptuous women with large breasts. Before I had my child, I was thin as a rail and flat as a board. There were plenty of men who would straight up tell me that I was too skinny for them. None of the things that these men did was wrong. Sure, there were assholes now and then who would purposely say mean things to me, but everyone is entitled to their own tastes. What kind of idiot would I be if I expected every man to drool over me? I know everyone here has seen or known those sorts of girls. They know that they're pretty (there's nothing wrong with this) but they expect every man to be attracted to them. When they realize that one guy didn't pay them any mind, they get really pissed off. This is not a good way to live.

You can't fix the world so don't worry about what others want. All you can do is fix yourself and I don't mean that you have to make yourself into someone you're not. I don't agree with you most of the time, but you seem like a bright guy.

Most people on these forums can tell how extremely unhappy and angry you are. If people on a forum can tell, then people you meet will certainly be able to see it. No one is going to want an angry partner. If only you could take your stubborness and make it work for you, then you'd be on the right path. I can see that you have values and that is a great thing to offer a woman! I'm sure you can find women out there who share the same values and opinions.

I have mentioned that I would not be dating if I had been single. I understand that I have way too much to work on. Don't worry too much about love right now. Love will come, but first you have to learn to love yourself unconditionally. I know, it's easier said than done. But it's the worthwile things in life that we have to put a lot of work into. Things are not as hopeless as you may believe.

It's not that *I* feel inadequate. It's that I feel *others* would think I'm inadequate, because I am more careful, and not violent or aggressive or an ahole and extremely selfish.

 

[no1]

i will answer the topic question and say that you do indeed dislike pornography

yet you actively watch it

lots of different kinds

So what if I have? I have to be honest and say that I have for practices which may be a bit too personal for this board but it is not mere "masturbation," but more like "enhancement" which require a bit of stimulation. I just know what is out there and dislike it very much and stay away from them. And I wish I could stop altogether but I don't have a partner and I don't know how to even *imagine* sexuality because I've never really been in a sexual relationship. Even to get a partner, let's just say I haven't gotten that and haven't been able to because my desire has been just so overpowering.

 

[overcomer33]

I dislike the effect pornography has on human beings.

In pornography, fantasies are played out where otherwise in the real world it should be illegal. But as a child who grows up exposed to this kind of stuff at a very early age, might want to emulate these behaviors, and carry it out into the adult world. From then on, sexuality is seen as a wanton, and violently lustful thing.

Even on TV, sexuality is portrayed wantonly. As children, we watch TV, and "adult" content (as if that is what adult content is really even supposed to be like). I believe being exposed to sexuality pre-puberty can mess a person's life up once you do hit puberty.

Who knows what happens in middle school and elementary. Guys touching girls, without consent. And it "just happens" without any control. Because it "feels good" and we have urges that we can't even control.

I remember, because I was exposed to pornography, and sexual abuse (as a result of the abuser being influenced by pornography) at such a young age.. in middle school, I could not control myself, and was severely uncomfortable with sexuality,or it was non existent until it took control of me. Not that I was like one of the kids who would touch others to 'see how it feels', or whatever. I was a bit different, more into my own self, rather than chasing girls. but I wonder if maybe I was supposed to, like all the other kids who were acting out their lustful desires because they saw it in pornography and wanted to 'try it out'. But instead I was introduced to it by a male, though I quickly learned it wasn't supposed to be like that, and stopped it right away. But as a child I questioned sexuality because of what I went through, the wantonness. the abuse wasn't that bad, but the fact that my mother took it so seriously, and took my to psychologists and made me question my mental state, and have doubts about myself... It could have affected me, and made me withdrawn from Love and sexuality. Because of all the wanton lustfulness going on, everywhere I went, I was uncomfortable with sexuality.

Now about the porn thing: Rape, and Sex Crimes are "ok" in pornography. You see guys being wanton with women, touching them without consent, using sexual bribery, "tricking" girls into sex, and the girls are 'dumb enough" to accept, and be ok with it. Anything goes.

So when that behavior comes into reality... I feel like women might expect you to be wild, like what is shown in pornography. I'm not like that, I am a modest person. I can't just start touching a woman without first her consent. but in porn, many of the movies show, that's how it starts. If people expect me to act like they do in porn to have sex... then I don't think I'll ever find love. But porn is so accepted in this society, that it's even used to titillate the minds of couples. Why can't there be real erotica, showing two people who loved each other. Why does it have to be wanton, and crazy.

The sad thing is, people actually believe pornography is closer to the reality of love than anything else. but what if that's not true, and it's only the reality because of pornography, and people who from a sick mind, act out pornographic behaviors, even since the beginning of mankind, before pornography. not everyone was as violently lustful as this.

Not that we can't be like animals, but even animals have their own rituals. Each species has it's own ritual. And you can't compare too much humans with other animals.

Very interesting and helpful post...correct if Im wrong but I think Teb Bundy was exposed to pornography at an early age...and the effect of that facilitated him becoming a serial killer.

 

[no1]

LOLOL yeah so i guess if you are exposed to pornography at a young age you become a seriel killer!?!?!?!? This theory is so dumb it isnt even funny. Ted Bundy was a Sociopath and it had nothing to do with him watching porn at a young age. I dont care who says it or writes about it!

What about these young women who are forced into prostitutuion at a young age??? Do they too turn into seriel killers?

Not exactly. They all don't have to turn to serial killers but it definitely can cause problems which can be attributed to being exposed to pornography and especially the more deviant porn at pre-pubescent ages. Ie before puberty.

Like for example... Ted Bundy might have been exposed to pornography at an early age and that definitely might have contributed to his being a sociopath, which might be the real cause for his serial killings, not simply the viewing of porn at a young age. It really depends on how you grow up, but I think it can definitely cause a multitude of problems, especially in combination with other factors.

My friend thinks the same way. He thinks that if one is exposed to pornography and especially the really deviant kinds, at an early age before puberty, it can cause problems after puberty. Especially as regards to sexuality.

He was also sexually abused as a young boy, and was taught this way of sexuality for the time being that he was ignorant of sexuality. The abuser was very much into pornography and showed him hentai porn of tentacle rape and various other deviant kinds of porn. He noticed that pre-puberty he's had more sex than he's had after puberty! It definitely had messed something up...

My "abuser" also was exposed to pornography at an age before puberty. That's where he learned.

Barry, you're really hard headed.

 

[mads]

You are absolutely right Barry.

The thing we should be aware of is children who are neglected by their family/society. That is very dangerous.

 

[no1]

Well.. my view is not simply that viewing pornography and especially deviant kinds at a prepubescent can cause problems, but any kind of deviant erotica (which I refer to as pornography) at any age.

 

[Imhotep]

This idea that pornography makes people have "ideas" is total bull. People are into what they're into regardless of what they see. If all pornography was banned, you'd still get serial killers. Jack the Ripper didn't have a credit card, broadband access and a lifetime subscription to BDSM sites.

Personally speaking, I have pretty unusual tastes, sexually. Nothing dangerous or harmful, but DEFINITELY unusual and "out there". These tastes or fetishes developed (or I became aware of them) when I was around 11-13 years old. I had already seen porn by then, but there was certainly no mention of these aspects of sexuality. They were just girly mags. Until I was in my mid to late 20s, I believed I was the only one turned on by such things.

Nothing I could have seen would have turned me into a serial killer. I just ain't got the stomach for it. And I could never be a rapist. Penetrative sex just ain't that important to me.

So how do I fit into your little pigeon hole, no1?

 

[no1]

Well, like you said you were exposed to porn before u developed these behaviors.

Surely if people were not exposed to any pornography they wouldn't learn it from others. The only ones who would develop these are those certain odd cases.

 

[Imhotep]

Well, like you said you were exposed to porn before u developed these behaviors.

Surely if people were not exposed to any pornography they wouldn't learn it from others. The only ones who would develop these are those certain odd cases.

Did you even READ what I wrote????

My development would have been the same no matter how much porn I was exposed to BECAUSE THE PORN I SAW DID NOT DEPICT THE FETISHES I DEVELOPED. NOT EVEN REMOTELY.

To say that people would not develop fetishes without "learning" them from others is pretty stupid. How do people develop, say for example, a foot fetish? Is it from looking at porn and thinking "oh, I'd like to have a go at that"?

No, it is not.

It is from observing people, and realising what you like about them. And imagining what you'd like to experience.

Porn isn't going to alter that. I've seen loads of stuff I'm not interested in and I've still no desire to try it in real life.

Your argument is based on a faulty assumption and won't change no matter how much information you're given.

 

[no1]

The caress and touch of a woman feels good on the man's body. Porn shows this, and if you were exposed to it at an early age, you would likely associate the feeling of touching a woman as an avenue of pleasure. It is an 'altered state of consciousness'. The more you touch yourself, the more you may associate with this altered state of consciousness. You may not have been exposed to certain deviant behaviors as a child, but you wouldn't know that "you want to try that" (ie touching a woman because it feels good) if you didn't see it at an early age. And the desire to do so at such an early age, associated with SEXUAL behavior is in the wrong place because you're not really supposed to think of sex until after puberty, since you're not supposed to even be having sex until after puberty and sex is not merely for pleasure and fun but for procreation. Puberty sets you up for procreation not just 'pleasureable experiences'.

Perhaps the "deviance" you developed were a result of wanting to feel this pleasure in a new way, and your strong desire to, because you were exposed to sexual content at a very early age, and it was content that described sexuality as for mere pleasure and fun, not procreation.

Everyone as a child feels a need to touch. From their parents. They must grow up to seek pleasure from life. Not mere sex.

Sex is a way that one can bond with their partners. It's not just to feel pleasure. Or simply "make pleasure". Although it can be used that way, but it belongs with one's partner not (i believe) and it's supposed to be special to the relationship.

 

[Imhotep]

Nope. You've completely missed the point again.

 

[no1]

alright whatever. So you think I did. That's fine with me. I'm sorry I couldn't address you in the way that was satisfactory to you.

 

[Imhotep]

alright whatever. So you think I did. That's fine with me. I'm sorry I couldn't address you in the way that was satisfactory to you.

LOL. Acknowledging the fact that I couldn't have seen or heard about these "acts" in pornography and therefore it had nothing to do with my development would have been MOST satisfactory to me .

I noticed you dodged the Jack the Ripper point too. Serial killers predate girly mags and hardcore internet porn by thousands of years.

 

[no1]

First of all I never said pornography makes people into killers.

Second of all I DID address what you stated. Specifically in these statements:

"Perhaps the "deviance" you developed were a result of wanting to feel this pleasure in a new way, and your strong desire to, because you were exposed to sexual content at a very early age, and it was content that described sexuality as for mere pleasure and fun, not procreation."

So yea, you did not see these behaviors in the porn you saw, but perhaps because you became "sensitized" so much by the porn you saw, to pleasurable touch, and associating that with sexuality, that you started to look for other avenues to fulfill those desires to be touched and feel pleasure from touch, especially at a young and early age, and a bit unconsciously too. Ie, if you had a foot fetish, etc. Or shoulders. erogenous zones being stimulated and then associating it with sexual pleasure and intense emotion. If you have an aggressive fetish perhaps it's due to associating certain aggressiveness with the intensity of the intense feelings one might get during sex. and it really has also to do with how intense you feel sexual pleasure. People have varying degrees of sensitivity. Hypersexuality/hyposexuality, all have to do with how you're conditioned, the beliefs you have, the amounts of altered states you experience, and the degrees of variance between them. Certainly.. I believe a person who most strongly believes that it isn't necessary to have sex to be healthy can actually make that a reality by filling his life with hobbies and thoughts that can support that reality replace those desires. Same goes for 'malignant desires'.

Does that make sense?

 

[no1]

I agree with Blue Teardrops. Here's a link to the study: Sex objects: Pictures shift men's view of women | Science | guardian.co.uk

Now we have to be careful with ALL types of studies because as you may or may not know people make money off of studies, and make money to prove certain theories, and simply by looking for proof of something, might actually "create" proof during the process of the study just to make money, even if unconsciously. That's why it should be double blinded, but also take into account all possibilities, even if it doesn't 'fit in' with the 'norms' or 'mainstreams'.

Anyways.. though I do think there is some truth to the study. It's possible that men are just attracted to the looks of the females' bodies and the pleasure gotten from sex, but they don't have to be obsessive about it if they didn't grow up undereducated and misinformed about sexuality (ie through deviant porn). Also there was no mention whether these men were into porn or not, or have watched porn (which maybe why they look at women in bikinis as objects to act upon, and besides, women in bikinis especially provocative bikinis is a bit like marketing their goods for sexual gratification, even if they don't know it). Like I said earlier: sex is not simply for pleasure. Porn and viewing any type of deviant sexual behavior that shows sex being merely for pleasure, and especially aggressive acts can give the idea that sex is simply for pleasure, and also make men view women as 'tools of pleasure' that one simply Has to attain sex no matter the cost. Learning this at an early age of course, where you aren't even 'mature' enough to understand sex because you haven't even gone through puberty, or proper sex education, one might begin to view sex simply for pleasure. And once the associations are made, it can be hard to break an obsession over sexual pleasure and gratification. Especially when society is so obsessed with sexuality, to the point where it is implied that one cannot live in peace without sex, or one absolutely needs it no matter what, for health and sanity. So how can one even start to get sex, if in the first place being without sex is so hard that it makes getting sex even harder or let alone getting sex because being in the 'sex fasted state' is so abnormal to the point that it makes one 'dysfunctional' and there aren't even too many helpful ways to, what I view is properly attain justice, or fulfill the desire, or actually address sexual desire without deviance if you're coming from an abnormal state unless you can find a someone who can understand you, and can help you..

 

[nephatitus]

So what if I have? I have to be honest and say that I have for practices which may be a bit too personal for this board but it is not mere "masturbation," but more like "enhancement" which require a bit of stimulation. I just know what is out there and dislike it very much and stay away from them. And I wish I could stop altogether but I don't have a partner and I don't know how to even *imagine* sexuality because I've never really been in a sexual relationship. Even to get a partner, let's just say I haven't gotten that and haven't been able to because my desire has been just so overpowering.

a way that you can lower your desire is to find a hobby that basically demands lots of mind work. It can vary ex video games ( i dont know if you have a game sytem, computer gaming is also ok however since you are (are you trying to lower those desires?) connected to the internet, reading a book for a good long while (if you want to kill the urge, read a really really disturbing litereature that would completely nullify it and make you loose faith in humanity in such a way that you will only see...well...lets just say that when you look at another person you would recoil in disgust and a variety of other things),

i could go on and on but the main point im trying to make is that you gotta keep your mind occupied with more pressing matters other that the little things like porn, which should be limited

 

[Ashiene]

Flame war is about to begin O.O