How would I accept being single forever?

[MikeyC]

I honestly think that women are asking for too much and are too demanding.

I think men ask too much, too.

My mother has put me off too because of the way she is constantly nagging at my dad.

My mum does the same to my dad and that puts me off marriage.

 

[Atrus]

Hi there Recluse I feel much the same way. Sometimes.

Pardon me for imposing. I understand that you never asked for advice. I'd just like to add how I cope with my own experiences with women if that's okay with you. The relationships I witnessed between my mother and father have put me off to relationships in general. These experiences made me apprehensive towards the whole idea. But I believe that, rather than have these experiences serve me as a warning, they would be better served as an example to live by. My parents relationship serves as a role model for how I do not wish to live.

I recognize, very clearly, when a relationship is dysfunctional and toxic. So because of these experiences I understand how to set my personal boundaries, and that although what I witnessed wasn't pleasant, it isn't a blueprint of what all relationships are. There are many, many different ways that people choose to interact with one another. Just because I had a very poor experience growing up, I can still recognize that there is room in my world for other ways of life. I understand that I can take an active role in deciding what I want a relationship to entail. If I do not agree with constant nagging, for instance, I make that clear and set my boundaries to remain healthy and to maintain a healthy relationship.

 

[Mario8]

Perhaps you should post a photo of yourself and let the ladies here tell you what they think.
My BF never thought he was sexy until I told him that I thought he was. Maybe you are just being far too harsh on yourself.

Oh I dunno if that would be such a good idea. Aside from me having a history of people harassing me because of my looks (which is something id hate to see happen here, being as than I would leave this forum for good), I don't think that the ladies here would be interested in seeing my ugly mug. Lets just say that i`m probably rather different than your boyfriend, and I doubt if the word "sexy" will come into mind besides. For me putting a picture of myself here would be like asking for trouble. I... don't respond well to people pitting me. Which is most likely what most people would do here. Also. Lets say that I did post a picture of myself. I doubt that I would be getting any offers or interests from the ladies.

 

[gummybear22]

^see my post at the bottom of the 6th page.

and why would you want offers from girls just because of your looks? o_0 >:|

 

[Mario8]

no, i don't think posting a pic of yourself is going to help all that much, since they might, and you might think they, are telling you that you look good just because they're trying to make you feel better. some folks are like that, and some are honest. i don't know how completely honest everyone would be, but would people telling you that you look alright actually change how you feel about yourself?? b/c for me, it doesn't, and for others it also doesn't. and it's not like i'm saying that you don't look alright or good looking or whatever, b/c i don't know, but i'm rather going by what you've said since you are so adamant about your not looking good. and people are sometimes harsher than how they are in reality. (and of course there are those who think they're 'all that' but aren't, including in looks, but you aren't one of those.)

Yes I agree that me posting a picture of myself here is probably a bad idea. You have spoken with me a little so you already know what I think about people pitting me. And you know that I am not the type to sit back, and take it without retaliating harshly. There`s alot of already existing negative energy and plenty of spitefulness in me, and ive already spotted some idiots in this site, and I don`t want to be subjugated to trolling of any kind. I have enough problems as it is. And yes, I do believe that if I post a picture of myself, someone will make fun of me. And I will not have that. As much as I trust this site`s mods, I trust my own judgment a lot more.

 

[gummybear22]

how about getting to know girls without seeing them, and then when one really gets to liking you and you really like her, and knowing that she doesn't care much on looks as opposed to personality, to share a pic of you to her and for her to reciprocate. then she has who you are first and then has your looks, which should little to no difference to her feelings about you.

 

[Mario8]

^see my post at the bottom of the 6th page.

and why would you want offers from girls just because of your looks? o_0 >:|

I saw and I replied to that as well! ^

And to be honest, after years of complete isolation, my standards are no where near what they used to be. Being alone and having to face endless insecurities 24/7 for so long makes a man become less picky. Oh sure i`m a bit sarcastic now, but... lets just say that I never experienced what its like for a woman to want me, only because of my looks. And I doubt that this will start happening anytime soon lol.

 

[gummybear22]

why would you wAnt anyone to like you only for your looks?
shallow.

 

[Mario8]

why would you wAnt anyone to like you only for your looks?
shallow.

Huh? is that what you got from that? that`s not what I meant at all. What I meant was that I never experienced what its like to have a person "hit" on me because of my appearance alone. I simply wonder what that must be like. You enjoy looking for arguments with me, don't you?

 

[Oton]

Same here never got a girlfriend, never got asked out or danced/kissed with a girl. It's because of how i look and because i am shy. But i know very well i am ugly i don't need other people to say it for me. Being called ugly by your friends and cousins even if they are ''joking'' hurts allot. But i got over it quickly i am who i am. And you are who you are sure it may be harder for you from what i have read, but remember there is always a person out there that doesn't judge someone on their looks just keep looking!

 

[Mario8]

how about getting to know girls without seeing them, and then when one really gets to liking you and you really like her, and knowing that she doesn't care much on looks as opposed to personality, to share a pic of you to her and for her to reciprocate. then she has who you are first and then has your looks, which should little to no difference to her feelings about you.

You think I haven't tried that? :sad: I remember this one time in specific where I got to know someone. She was very nice, attractive, young (24), and we hit it off virtually. Everything went great. We talked a lot on the forums, we talked in Skype (which was a lot easier for me, being as my English is much better when I talk), the whole package. And yes I have also explained to her why I do not wish to share my pictures so soon. Anyhow. At some point, even though we live on different countries, we wanted to meet. Everything went well, we were both half way to go. And than came the picture showing. The way she looked honestly didnt bother me at all, being as I thought that she looked great. However. Once she saw me, things started to change, and eventfully, she gave up.

 

[InvisaLady]

I'm just going to toss this one out there. What about a blind girl?

You know, I was terrified of posting my picture when I joined the site too. I won't go into deep detail of the number of people (not on this site) who have called me ugly or given insults based on my appearance. I even got that from my own family as well (btw, they were not joking).
So I can fully understand your not wanting to do so.

 

[Mario8]

I'm just going to toss this one out there. What about a blind girl?

You know, I was terrified of posting my picture when I joined the site too. I won't go into deep detail of the number of people (not on this site) who have called me ugly or given insults based on my appearance. I even got that from my own family as well (btw, they were not joking).
So I can fully understand your not wanting to do so.

I`m... not sure if I should be consider that as an insult on my intelligence, or take the whole blind girl thing as an as actual idea though I wonder how does one try to hit it off online, with someone that cant even see. Wow. I`m actually imagining it XD.

Lets just say that if people harassed you (a nice young girl), than surely they wouldn't go easy on a guy who clearly looks like he hasn't spoken with people in quite some time. True, people are usually forgiving in places like this forum, but seeing people pity me and mock me, is honestly something I don't wanna deal with. If this was a closed forum thats only visible for women or by invite for a selected few, than maybe I would consider. But not like this. Not for the entire world to see.

 

[gummybear22]

Huh? is that what you got from that? that`s not what I meant at all. What I meant was that I never experienced what its like to have a person "hit" on me because of my appearance alone. I simply wonder what that must be like. You enjoy looking for arguments with me, don't you?

no, i don't enjoy looking for arguments. i was being real.

 

[gummybear22]

You think I haven't tried that? :sad: I remember this one time in specific where I got to know someone. She was very nice, attractive, young (24), and we hit it off virtually. Everything went great. We talked a lot on the forums, we talked in Skype (which was a lot easier for me, being as my English is much better when I talk), the whole package. And yes I have also explained to her why I do not wish to share my pictures so soon. Anyhow. At some point, even though we live on different countries, we wanted to meet. Everything went well, we were both half way to go. And than came the picture showing. The way she looked honestly didnt bother me at all, being as I thought that she looked great. However. Once she saw me, things started to change, and eventfully, she gave up.

i really am sorry that she treated you that way after yall had such a good thing going. there are people who you could get along well with and they would lIke you and not change how they feel b/c of your looks, though those seem to be very hard to find today because most people are just mess. here's to hoping you dO find someone, and rather soon, who is right for you, and that hope goes to everyone else too. loneliness is a horrid feeling... and the shorter the time spent in it, the mUch better.

 

[Mario8]

no, i don't enjoy looking for arguments. i was being real.

Your so serious sometimes! And coming from a depressed person like myself it means something. Haven't you figured out that i`m very sarcastic? chill! here, have some popcorn! opcorn:

 

[gummybear22]

i'm serious alot. what do you mean it means something to you since you're depressed? o_0 i take most things literally, so I won't notice sarcasm/jokes sometimes.

 

[Mario8]

i really am sorry that she treated you that way after yall had such a good thing going. there are people who you could get along well with and they would lIke you and not change how they feel b/c of your looks, though those seem to be very hard to find today because most people are just mess. here's to hoping you dO find someone, and rather soon, who is right for you, and that hope goes to everyone else too. loneliness is a horrid feeling... and the shorter the time spent in it, the mUch better.

I already told you, I have honestly given up. The way that the world works, they way that society works.. I honestly believe that people like me are simply not meant to last. And believe me when I tell you that what happened with her, was nothing. Ive experienced worse things than that. I could tell you stories that would honestly make you feel sick and ashamed for women all around. Every person is superficial to some degree, but the way that people have become nowadays, is honestly disgusting.

I know that I am, with all my bitterness, insecurities, low standards, and animosity, a by product of my life`s circumstances. And I can honestly tell you that outta all the things which have shaped me into what I have become today, that loneliness is what has given me the hardest blow. Because the funny thing is about loneliness and its implied desperation, is that it creates a cycle, and it makes people think about you badly. I... wasn't always like this. Hell. I`m not even a forum person. But here I am. You know, people in our society always try to be so politically correct, and often choose to remain polite about a great many things which bother them. But the one thing that people NEVER take mercy on, is physical ugliness. They give it pity, or they give it insults. That`s just how the world works :sad:

 

[gummybear22]

or they see past it.

 

[Mario8]

i'm serious alot. what do you mean it means something to you since you're depressed? o_0 i take most things literally, so I won't notice sarcasm/jokes sometimes.

Oh I see now. So you take things literally? well that explains it i`m so glad you mentioned this though because I was starting to get worried. Well, what I meant what that I was trying to be ironic.

May I ask... how come you take this so seriously? I mean.. maybe this is just my own defensive mechanisms that make me take things as lightly as I can on the internet, but it just seems unusual for me to meet someone that takes things so literally. That... must be confusing.