Klonoa
Well-known member
I honestly didn't knew he meant that.
I must say though, English isn't my main language either, so it flew over my head. I apologize. D:
How to get a girlfriend if you dont have any friends?
- Thread starter shybutsexy
- Start date
I honestly didn't knew he meant that.
I must say though, English isn't my main language either, so it flew over my head. I apologize. D:
Bronson99
Well-known member
LOL. Nuff said.
Bronson99
Well-known member
Yo dude, what happened to your optimism?
You reply in one of my threads from a while ago, with one of the most inspirational posts I've seen in this forum.
But lately--and especially ANY time it's a post about meeting women--you seem to be almost dissuading these lonely guys from even trying, because according to you, if you don't have confidence/money/goals or whatever, then no woman on earth will like you. If it's really true, then I suggest at least sugarcoating your message, because it's making me feel like giving up also.
Richey
Well-known member
When I typed that I was having a really bad day, so it wasn't my finest moment, that's for sure. I agree with you. I do my best to be optimistic, but sometimes it's tricky to see the forest for the trees.
mismeek
Well-known member
shybutsexy.. if you want I would be happy to look over your dating profile.. I've gotten pretty good at those, and as a female I could offer you my advice.
I agree with the guys. I wouldnt care if my guy had friends. once you start dating the majority of the your girlfriends friends become your friends too
Keep yourself available! go to public places like bookstores and clubs and bars, say hello to people so they know that you're friendly and want to talk. join school clubs and stuff.
I agree with the guys. I wouldnt care if my guy had friends. once you start dating the majority of the your girlfriends friends become your friends too
Keep yourself available! go to public places like bookstores and clubs and bars, say hello to people so they know that you're friendly and want to talk. join school clubs and stuff.
Odo
Banned
You know, I think I used to think all kinds of things about women but now I think I've finally realized that you can't generalize anything and there is no specific thing that all women will always like... and I don't think anything is an absolute dealbreaker for everyone. But if your having friends is important to her, she won't like it if you don't.
That said, it really helps if you aren't telling her what she is supposed to like and how she is supposed to act.
That said, it really helps if you aren't telling her what she is supposed to like and how she is supposed to act.
socialorphan
Member
If you're looking for any sort of long term relationship then a bar or club is probably the worst place to look. Most people who go to those kinds of places are only interested in a 'fling'. I'd say you need to get to know somebody, have similar interests and spend a lot of time together.
I made the painful decision about a month ago to stop trying completely.
I made the painful decision about a month ago to stop trying completely.
Because liek omg liek dude liek man liek isnt this ttly cute? liek so much swag liek dude liek omg omg omg omg
-Commits sepukku-
Like O...M...G... (HA HA :sarcastic
did you really make one of those awful duck faces, Hellhound?
Honda
Well-known member
The more people you know, the more people you meet, the more likely you will get friends and the higher the chances of meeting girls.. Having girl 'friends' doesnt hurt either, girls could help a bit in hooking you up with other girls.
Go out meet people or communities with common interests or hobbies and you never know who you might befriend or meet there, that's a good start to meet new people and practice managing anxiety.
Also, the more occupied you are in life with stuff you enjoy doing or people you enjoy hanging out with, the less anxiety takes grasp over your mind.
You are over thinking this, you should learn to not give a crap about these details. It doesnt matter, you are just playing this too much in your head. Plus if the attraction is mutual, then she should help you a bit in getting closer to her.
That's where I need to stop you!! This shit doesn't exist in real life, that crap is only in movies, Disney crap and its bullshit. Anybody who tells you otherwise is either naiver or delusional. Plus, many people are dating/ married for a very long time but they hate the living guts out of each other, fight, cheat on each other and I admire the fact people take the imitative to divorce/ breakup instead of sneaking behind everybody's back..
Happily ever after, only, if you love yourself as much as you love your significant other and there are no expectations to be put, especially when you are young and got a life ahead of you.. She or you could get tired of the other or feel incompatible with the other and might call it off so go out and have fun.
Plus, she can eventually get sick of being your nanny or second mom and leave you; if you're gonna go all anxiety on her. She is dating a man because she wants someone who leads the relationship not 'depend' on the relationship.
I think you are considering dating for the wrong reasons because this wont make your anxiety disappear like 'poof'; rather you should take care of your mental and physical health first..
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gummybear22
Well-known member
not all girls want to be the follower.
Bronson99
Well-known member
Well, here's what my friend did. Be advised I'm not encouraging the following situation, but simply recording it here. Don't know if a shallow relationship is your thing, since he didn't get a girlfriend but something in a gray area, but anyway. What happened was, one day at work she said she found him highly attractive, then they went into an unoccupied room and started kissing. I think it took only about 2-3 more days before things got genuinely intimate. It's now almost 4 months in, and they're still "together" and I think they get it on twice a week.
So I guess the idea is... be lucky.
(short note: this woman who "chose him" is married with 3 kids.)
So I guess the idea is... be lucky.
(short note: this woman who "chose him" is married with 3 kids.)
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Flanscho
Well-known member
Get friends first. They are more important than a gf anyway.
I may be dumb on the subject, but isn't this girlfriend person supposed to be a friend (amongst other things) too? She could be your only friend for the time being.
There may or may not be some prerequisites depending on what person you try to go out with - but quantity of friends is not one of heard yet.
There may or may not be some prerequisites depending on what person you try to go out with - but quantity of friends is not one of heard yet.
Honda
Well-known member
And not all girls want to lead the whole relationship.. Last thing I need is to be in a relationship where I have to babysit my partner and carry their emotional baggage all the time.
There are plenty of men and women who dated partners whom they gave so many chances but then got fed up with their shit and broke up with them because they cannot get their life and problems together.
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Hellhound
Super Moderator
I say it should be equal. But I agree with you, your partner shouldn't be your psychologist. One thing is to be supportive, but being used as an emotional punching bag is a completely different thing.
One big mistake in this forum is thinking that having a girlfriend will magically cure all your mental illnesses. Nope. On the contrary, your mental illnesses will make your relationships hell if you don't go get help and learn basic human interaction first.
She is, but in this place, for a lot of guys, the word "friend" seems to be a bad word. I'm starting not to bother to give this advice anymore because nobody listens to me.
For some reason, they separate friendship from dating, turning dating into something superficial and almost entirely sexual. That's another big mistake. Going straight for dating isn't going to get you a loving wife, not immediately at least. Unless you're looking for something non-serious.
hoddesdon
Well-known member
This is called social proof (or reverse social proof in this case)