If he comes to me
Maybe I should just stay single to avoid perpetual disappointment.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Maybe I should just stay single to avoid perpetual disappointment.
Kiwong
Well-known member
that's me before I get to the sock.
Would that be the piano that fell over Michael Stipes shoulder and crashed to the ground.
Miserum
Well-known member
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I totally get that and need time, too, but I haven’t spent time with him since last Thursday. Our schedules don’t align and the last time I saw him was Wednesday before I left for 5 minutes. He’s barely texted me or said he missed me... My mom and sister’s husbands were calling them to say how much they missed them and I received no warm reception. It makes me feel even worse about myself; like, I’m not worth it
This may be something you've done, but have you communicated these feelings? I ask because I can see how it could seem like one of those things you shouldn't have to say, but people aren't mind readers and aren't always aware of the impact their actions (or lack of action) has on a person. If you want be showered with affection and are not easily smothered, I think it's totally okay to say so if you haven't.
To use an example from my own relationship, I'm the opposite and can go weeks without talking to someone and not have it be a major impact on me. But early on in the relationship my girlfriend made it clear that's its important to her to communicate everyday even if its just a text to say good morning. So now I always start my mornings with a text to her because I know it's important to her, but probably wouldn't have had she not told me it mattered to her. Relationships can be complicated, and in my case when I'm told point blank what's important to the other person it helps simplifies things.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Fear of be judged negatively, maybe? How they’ll react...
I know I kinda stopped opening up about my feelings due to being unsure about what reaction I’d get.
Kiwong
Well-known member
Thanks, vj288 - you’re right. I need to communicate even though it is obvious to me. We talked about it and it has since been resolved
Marc7
Well-known member
I think it could be that as well as getting an negative reaction such as a disagreement or argument. Also not wanting to burden them with my feelings or words. Plus it could be not wanting the attention on me. Plus not wanting to change my life. Also it could be due to me being a male at least for my feelings part but idk though.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, going by my past experience with ma family, I understand what ye mean, there.
Why don't you want to change yer life? Just asking... but don't feel you have to answer if that question is too personal.
I know that stigma all too well, man. Quite ironic that - being raised in predominately female household - ah git guff from my family whenever I do or don't talk about my feelings.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Dreading next month...
With exception o’ mibbe 4 days, am no gonnae git much peace from ma nieces.
Meaning my name is going to utter a lot this February...
With exception o’ mibbe 4 days, am no gonnae git much peace from ma nieces.
Meaning my name is going to utter a lot this February...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
What do you mean I, "hurt your feelings"?
I didn't know you had any feelings
I didn't know you had any feelings
Marc7
Well-known member
Yea, it is hard being anxious which leads to lack of assertiveness at least for me.
Because I'm scared I won't have the skills, motivation, and will power to even if it is necessary. Plus I might have to acquire news skills that I have to word hard to get.
What does a gif guff mean? That stigma is unhealthy for men. Your family wants you to open up about your feelings but doesn't expect you to because you are a male?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sorry, I typed that last bit phonetically in my accent. By “git guff”, I just meant getting bullied by my family.
And my family do tell me to open up about my feelings, but every time I do I’m told I’m wrong, and what I’m saying isn’t valid. Or that I’m just “nagging” and “being a bully”. Something I’ve tried to make my mother in particular see the irony of. Basically, they can be as negative and self pitying as they’d like, but the moment I say anything remotely similar.. oh, I’m “attention seeking”, “not being nice”, or “dour”
Oh, and I get where you’re coming from with regards to being afraid to change yer life when you’re not sure you will have the necessary skills, motivation, etc. It’s not exactly easy having to teach yourself those necessary skills.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just trying to put a brave face on, because I don’t wish to say how I’m feeling about things lately. Especially after what my mum told me yesterday. Somehow ah feel I’ll be blamed for not doing enough in the end...
It’s no easy caring for someone who’s health is only getting worse due to their unwillingness to help themselves.
Somehow ah feel I’ll be blamed for not doing enough in the end... It’s no easy caring for someone who’s health is only getting worse due to their unwillingness to help themselves.