F**kin' pissed off! Aye, the fact ah swore there, gives ya an idea o' just how angry I am...
Ye know what...? I give up! Just, meh! Why do ah even bother anymore, eh?! Decisions are made for me, ma input/opinion means sweet F all! Ah dinnae bother disagreein' wi' anything anymair. Just accept it! :sad: Sad, innit? That I've become so passive, apathetic, uncaring and couldnae give a f**k aboot ma life.
It's no even within ma control, anymair. Decisions get made fur me - ye see how (why) ah feel like am incapable o' makin' ma ain decisions And ah canne disagee when ah always wrong! Or made oot tae be... :kickingmyself:
Because it's no aboot what ah want, it's about what ma family thinks ah want. Because ma family (especially oldest sister seem tae know me better than ah know mysel'.
Startin' tae wonderin' if am really in control o' ma life? See, ah accept the limitations of ma disability 12 years ago, when the doctors told me it's gettin' worse - they didnae condesend to me. Just telt it like it is, matter-of-fact. Oh, well. That's that then... Time tae accept it and not dwell on what cannae be change :idontknow: But ma family dinnae seem tae see it the same way.
Ah mean, they're doing things for me. But, alot of the time, they're doing it for themeselves, their own ego. Alot of things are forced upon me and ah just accept them because arguements just waste time. So why try...?
Sorry, cynical of me, ah know. :sad: