How are you feeling?

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Beatrice

Guest
Simmy said:
I'm fed up too, I'm fed up with having to TRY and live this way, because that's all it is. It's an attempt, I'm attempting to be normal, to get on with my life to accomplish something meaningful, to be happy but days like today I can't manage to gather the tiniest amount of hope I manage to cling on to, to TRY and get on with the simplest of daily tasks

I'm sick and tired of living this way :( I got a presentation to give on Thursday and it's eating away at my soul I cant even function =[

Wish it wasn't this way..............
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Yeah, exactly....
 
Simmy

Simmy

Active member
closetnerd said:
At least there are people there to give you a reason to be anxious. I used to hide in my room afraid that if I walk around around the house the neighbors would see me.
As if they would think something was weird about me going to get something to eat in my house. :rolleyes: I hate SA so ****ing much sometimes
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God that sounds horrible. I take your point on-board about there being people to give me a reason to be anxious >.< I just wish it wasnt that way though, wish I could fly out my room all jolly and happy ready to tackle the world (the kitchen ^_^)
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
dottie said:
would you prefer everyone to mope all the time?
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no, I am talking about the people you know are going through real hell in their private lives (like family etc) but they feel like they "have to" put on the "happy face" because society says so. Therefore the fakeness of it is just nauseating.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
my temp job is up after this week. i am starting to worry- what is next? how will i support myself? everything will fall into place, something will come along. but for now i worry.
 
P

Patrick26

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
no, I am talking about the people you know are going through real hell in their private lives (like family etc) but they feel like they "have to" put on the "happy face" because society says so. Therefore the fakeness of it is just nauseating.
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What, like a dead beat mother who sticks needles in herself, a sister that doesn't talk to you anymore because she's off having a life of her own now, a dad that brings you down emotionally untill you're at the point where suicide feels like the best way to go, a major learning disability so bad that a special school tells you you're a dumbass and too slow, a job that has employees that make your job a living nightmare and you just wanna tell them to f off and do their damn job, your pets dieing on you left and right, feeling self pity because you have to suffer through all this and much much more when you know you can easily get better but just too damn lazy to do it. That kind of hell? and i don't have use a fake happy face, i'm a pretty happy person regardless. I can't ever seem to fake anything...even when i try and fake a sickness on the phone for work they know i'm faking it. I'm just not a faker i guess. :/ I'm like an animal...i get sad when it happens, but i get over it like it never happened but i still remember.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Finding it hard to stay postive at the moment. Can't seem to shake this bad wave of depression I'm going through. Hopefully it will pass because I hate feeling this way

I feel like I don't belong, like I'm a loser. Overheard certain members of my family talking crap about me the other day because, apparently, I'm the "reclusive one" of the family. So that's effect my confidence and left me feeling completely isolated, alone and slightly pissed off at them. :mad:::(:
 
Bloir

Bloir

Well-known member
I am feeling me tired everyday. My period is late two weeks but i can not be pregnant because i have not had sexual relation. I had a little problem in my job because i felt i could not do everything. In two weeks i will be free and i will have a reference for future jobs so it is better to continue.

I have official exams soon. I study everyday so it is not a problem.

My social life.....??¿¿ What is that? I have not social webs and others things so i am missing the world.

Sometimes i felt a piece of **** because i am avoiding everyone. Everybody has someone and i dont want to have contact. But i dont care.
One day i am going to be fine to be a good friend or girlfriend. Secure and mature.

That is my week. Nothing new.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Not very well. Had to wake up super early because the workmen are here for the air-conditioning, and I want to sleep :/ I'm feeling pretty depressed today, lower than I have in a while.

And I don't think the argument in that BDD thread is helping.... it really feels terrible when people judge others' problems, even when they're not your own.

I remember when there was this one guy who judged me so harshly on my depression. It really made me feel so guilty. I was in a really rough spot. And contrary to what I've been accused of (why, I have no idea), I don't enjoy self-pity and I felt guilty for feeling so low. That ALWAYS makes the depression worse, don't these people get it? I don't want gushy sympathy, just support.

Trust me, I WANT to get better. This is no life and it's not as if I'm okay being this way. But it isn't easy to just change.
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Graeme6630 said:
Finding it hard to stay postive at the moment. Can't seem to shake this bad wave of depression I'm going through. Hopefully it will pass because I hate feeling this way

I feel like I don't belong, like I'm a loser. Overheard certain members of my family talking crap about me the other day because, apparently, I'm the "reclusive one" of the family. So that's effect my confidence and left me feeling completely isolated, alone and slightly pissed off at them. :mad:::(:
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I'm sorry to hear this :( I seem to have hit a low time too. And I know how it feels when you hear your family talking about you like that. Happened to me, too. The people I live with are awful. They don't understand depression and especially anxiety, and the things they've said are so hurtful. I don't even know how to be around them. I'm so uncomfortable.

Just wondering, did you confront them about what they said?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Beatrice said:
I'm sorry to hear this :( I seem to have hit a low time too. And I know how it feels when you hear your family talking about you like that. Happened to me, too. The people I live with are awful. They don't understand depression and especially anxiety, and the things they've said are so hurtful. I don't even know how to be around them. I'm so uncomfortable.

Just wondering, did you confront them about what they said?
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Yeah, I did confronted them. But, as is usually the case with me it seems, they just laughed me. Everytime I actually say something serious it's meet with laughter like the punchline to a joke I'm not telling. To say it's beyond frustrating is an understatement.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Graeme6630 said:
Yeah, I did confronted them. But, as is usually the case with me it seems, they just laughed me. Everytime I actually say something serious it's meet with laughter like the punchline to a joke I'm not telling. To say it's beyond frustrating is an understatement.
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They laugh at you??? Wow. I just don't get people, I really truly don't.

When I try to confront the people I live with, they try to turn it around on me and make it seem like I did something wrong, and guilt me. Can't stand it, especially since I'm always full of guilt anyway. Why, I really don't know. It's one of my biggest issues, I think. But I don't know how to break through that guilt. It's a powerful feeling and some people are skilled at wielding it as a weapon against others.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Beatrice said:
They laugh at you??? Wow. I just don't get people, I really truly don't.

When I try to confront the people I live with, they try to turn it around on me and make it seem like I did something wrong, and guilt me. Can't stand it, especially since I'm always full of guilt anyway. Why, I really don't know. It's one of my biggest issues, I think. But I don't know how to break through that guilt. It's a powerful feeling and some people are skilled at wielding it as a weapon against others.
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Yeah, Beatrice, they laughed in my face. I felt humilated, and disheartened. My mum especially can't seem to take anything seriously, she just makes a joke of everything. That why I've basically given up trying to open up and talk about my problems. ::(:
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Just want to break this awful mood! It's been worse the past few days, but it's basically a mood that has been with me for over a year!

I don't know what to do. I'm taking meds (though, because of complications not the right dosage yet, have to get that fixed....), seeing a counselor. There's more I need to do and I'm working on it, but in the meantime I feel like misery incarnate.....

I also get paranoid. I don't like the idea of being dependent on meds to be "normal".... I've heard bad things about people who use psyche meds long-term. I just don't know who to believe, what approaches to take, what to do......

Gaaahhhhhh. So frustrated. I wish I could just say, Eh what does it matter, my life is only one out of billions, it's not that significant....

But I have to live in my head and body, so it's never that simple.

Eh, just rambling now about nonsensical stuff. I think I'm going crazy. Which may actually be a good thing.
 
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