How are you feeling?

[lily]

I had a good time today. I hope tomorrow I will be feeling better though. Not feeling too well due to sleeping around the whole week and I found out I've been taking less than I should've w/ one of my medications and didn't count it properly after. I noticed it finally today. No wonder I was so anxious. Glad I found that out.

 

[lily]

Well I responded to my friends today and tomorrow I've got a fun schedule to get to. Yay!

 

[lily]

I'm glad I'm still accepted and liked at my walking groups, knowing that I still have SA. I tried to be non-SA, I couldn't really help it at times but it just went by and went on to the next thing. I don't know what was thought of me. I didn't want to ruin anyone's time. We went to a beautiful, clean place today. I'm so glad I went. I wouldn't have wanted to miss it! It made my day. I wanted to stay there longer though.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I've started some counselling over the last month and we discuss meditational techniques (deep breathing) and religious words in moments of anxiety or situations I'm about to go into.

I still feel day to day that I have ups and downs and the latter have been dark for my family.

But I apologised to my wife and things are better but it's always something that unsettles this calmness and gets me anxious again.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm feeling pretty good, all things considered. I had a good night out last night. My oldest sister and I went and saw Kings of Leon in Glasgow. Best concert we've attended in a long time, despite the concert having to be stopped twice, briefly, because drunken fights broke out in the crowd during Kings of Leon's set. That aside atmosphere was great, as always, at concerts in Glasgow. Even the local support band got a good reception; playing to a nearly full room.

 

[Phoenixx]

Exhausted. Been feeling like I'm living at work lately. Glad I have the holiday weekend off. It'll be nice to see family and friends I haven't seen in a while.

 

[lily]

I'm feeling pretty good, all things considered. I had a good night out last night. My oldest sister and I went and saw Kings of Leon in Glasgow. Best concert we've attended in a long time, despite the concert having to be stopped twice, briefly, because drunken fights broke out in the crowd during Kings of Leon's set. That aside atmosphere was great, as always, at concerts in Glasgow. Even the local support band got a good reception; playing to a nearly full room.

I'm glad you're feeling pretty good! I'm glad you had a good night out that night and saw Kings of Leon concert in Glasgow with your oldest sister, one of your family. Sorry to hear about the drunken fights that happened briefly in the crowd. Glad the atmosphere was great and there was good reception and overall it was nice.

 

[SilentAndShy]

It's our religious celebration and I've taken extended time off from work and I'm already wishing I could be in the office than home.

Too many people to deal with, plenty of anxiety, on top of existing worries.

 

[Graeme1988]

How am I feeling? Well...

It's hard to say, really. Ah mean, I'm experiencing multiple feelings at the moment. None of them positive.

Angry. Depressed. Miserable. Unhappy. Troubled. Alone.

Just processing the usual, upsetting dysfunctional, toxic family BS that I've been conditioned to accept as normal for last 20 years or so, and realising I'm at my breaking point.

But then, having to listen to yer older sister yelled at, and berate, our mother during yet another nonsensical argument will do that to ye.

Not that, the toll it's taken upon me over the year, or how much it bothers me that we're like this is even considered, like. That stuff normally brushed aside, laughed off and invalidated if I dare speak about it. Or excuses are always made to somewhat justify the constantly shouty arguments. Because having to put up a female sibling who prone to unhinged, expletive ladden bouts of anger over the most petty $h!% – even though most would call that for what is: Wrong! – is sitcom-worthy, right? Or, as is usually the case: I get the silent treatment or some storms off in the huff. So, my mother and sisters can avoid having acknowledge or admitting that I'm right.

Even though I hate that that's how it is for me. That I'm just supposed to fake a smile and pretend like stuff doesn't bother me when it does.

 

[Graeme1988]

How am I feeling? Well...

It's hard to say, really. Ah mean, I'm experiencing multiple feelings at the moment. None of them positive.

Angry. Depressed. Miserable. Unhappy. Troubled. Alone.

Just processing the usual, upsetting dysfunctional, toxic family BS that I've been conditioned to accept as normal for last 20 years or so, and realising I'm at my breaking point.

But then, having to listen to yer older sister yelled at, and berate, our mother during yet another nonsensical argument will do that to ye.

Not that, the toll it's taken upon me over the year, or how much it bothers me that we're like this is even considered, like. That stuff normally brushed aside, laughed off and invalidated if I dare speak about it. Or excuses are always made to somewhat justify the constantly shouty arguments. Because having to put up a female sibling who prone to unhinged, expletive ladden bouts of anger over the most petty $h!% – even though most would call that for what is: Wrong! – is sitcom-worthy, right? Or, as is usually the case: I get the silent treatment or some storms off in the huff. So, my mother and sisters can avoid having acknowledge or admitting that I'm right.

Even though I hate that that's how it is for me. That I'm just supposed to fake a smile and pretend like stuff doesn't bother me when it does.

Basically, the short of it is: I'm tired of being an emotional shock absorber. Tired of always being the one that has to begrudgingly pick up the pieces. Tired of being the example I never had growing up.

 

[lily]

How am I feeling? Well...

It's hard to say, really. Ah mean, I'm experiencing multiple feelings at the moment. None of them positive.

Angry. Depressed. Miserable. Unhappy. Troubled. Alone.

Just processing the usual, upsetting dysfunctional, toxic family BS that I've been conditioned to accept as normal for last 20 years or so, and realising I'm at my breaking point.

But then, having to listen to yer older sister yelled at, and berate, our mother during yet another nonsensical argument will do that to ye.

Not that, the toll it's taken upon me over the year, or how much it bothers me that we're like this is even considered, like. That stuff normally brushed aside, laughed off and invalidated if I dare speak about it. Or excuses are always made to somewhat justify the constantly shouty arguments. Because having to put up a female sibling who prone to unhinged, expletive ladden bouts of anger over the most petty $h!% – even though most would call that for what is: Wrong! – is sitcom-worthy, right? Or, as is usually the case: I get the silent treatment or some storms off in the huff. So, my mother and sisters can avoid having acknowledge or admitting that I'm right.

Even though I hate that that's how it is for me. That I'm just supposed to fake a smile and pretend like stuff doesn't bother me when it does.

Sorry to hear you're not doing very well, Graeme, because of something that happened in your family. You deserve better. You can PM me if you want to get your mind off of it. I had just written to you above in a post how glad I was about you in doing well in Glasgow, treasure those memories. I went bike riding but overall the pavement wasn't good and the bike was different, it was the rental kinds and so I won't be going anymore but I still had fun. I will be sticking with the group walk but I got to meet one of the facilitators and he was so nice, they were all nice. I had a wonderful experience, I just felt bad that I was slowing him down since he said he will stay behind with me and go slowly while I walked my bike and I also rode it at some parts. I also had the thrill of going down the hill in the end with him before I said I was too tired to go on and we put the bike back afterwards. You guys should attend a church and find someone who can help you with your family and with God. God can help with prayer and this argument problem. We need God, to follow his temperament and how he would do things, learn His ways, that's what can help with these arguments. We need to commit our lives to God and cast all our cares on Him for He cares for us. And we need to love God for who He is. Sorry for talking about God but it's true! I feel it! We need God for everything, as our source. We are the branches and He is the vine!

 

[Graeme1988]

Still dwelling on what happened the other day. Wondering how my mother seems less bothered by it than I am.

Wishing that things were different than they are with my family. But sadly I don't think things will ever change for the better. Not now... I doubt my sisters have the maturity required to acknowledge and admit their faults, then make an effort to change.

I wish lived by myself, because I seem to function better alone. There isn't this constant feeling like I have a giant weight upon my shoulders at all times.

 

[lily]

I'm enjoying life. I will be continuing going to my walking group to exercise and help others in my conversations. I met such nice people. I had such a great day today. I'd like everyday to be so nice.

 

[Graeme1988]

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm not feeling too well. I've got a sore throat and I hurt the side of my right foot, but I've been resting up and am slowly getting better.

 

[Graeme1988]

Sorry to hear you're not doing very well, Graeme, because of something that happened in your family. You deserve better.

I know I deserve better. So does my mother... I just wishing my sisters would realise that as well.

The oldest went and guilt tripped me in order to get me out the house, because I seemed in bit of a mood; when I was merely focusing more on the task I was doing for myself – which is apparently a trait of zodiac sign (Aries) – than making small talk. Not that I'm particularly great at small talk anyway...

Anyway, she assumed that we'd fallen out because I rarely messaged her via WhatsApp or emailed her while she was off on her week's holiday in Yorkshire.

You can PM me if you want to get your mind off of it. I had just written to you above in a post how glad I was about you in doing well in Glasgow, treasure those memories.

Oh, I do treasure those memories. Every single one; because I rarely come home from a show I've attended in Glasgow – be it music concert or live comedy show – feeling disappointed.

 

[Graeme1988]

It's feels weird, vindicating and yet incredibly frustrating to have an observation that you've said about certain a member of yer family for years – though not to that person's face – pointed out by someone who isn't a blood relative.

I kinda wish one of my secondary school English teachers was wrong when she wrote of me in a report that: "Graeme is a good judge of character". It's not a trait that serves one well when dealing with difficult, manipulative or narcissistic people who don't handle criticism particularly well.

 

[lily]

I'm not feeling too well. I've got a sore throat and I hurt the side of my right foot, but I've been resting up and am slowly getting better.

I recently got a sore throat too! but I think I'm almost getting better. Rest up, drink good water and liquids, fruits and get well soon Graeme!

 

[Graeme1988]

I recently got a sore throat too! but I think I'm almost getting better. Rest up, drink good water and liquids, fruits and get well soon Graeme!

Thank you, lily. We're currently experiencing a bit of heatwave here in Scotland, and over the UK as a whole; so it's too hot to do much, if anything, at the moment.

 

[lily]

Thank you, lily. We're currently experiencing a bit of heatwave here in Scotland, and over the UK as a whole; so it's too hot to do much, if anything, at the moment.

Yeah I heard of that. I think it's global warming and that everyone needs to take care of the environment like not doing stupid things that pollute the environment and not smoking (trying to quit if you can bc it's not healthy either) and throwing things in the trash where it should be. We're having a heat wave here too but I doubt it's as bad as in Europe. That's why I didn't go out today either. I would've loved to. I feel even if it's very hot tomorrow I will be going out. I'm so sorry to hear you didn't do much but do you usually go out somewhere? Or do you usually stay home and play instruments, watch tv-- your favorite hobbies and help out your mum? I'm just wondering. Plus I like talking to you.