How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
koyaanisqatsi
Well-known member
I'm feeling OK. As long as I can isolate, I do OK. But then there is the depression that comes with isolation. So it goes. I'm older..much older. And I've lived alone for about 40 years. Gainfully employed for long periods.
In 2015-2016, I was in crisis and was in a psych ward on and off. I felt there was a trigger. I had a series of urinary tract infections and I believe that was what caused the problems. Of course, the psychiatrist I was dealing with at the hospital would have none of it. But several other people said the had friends or relatives who starting having real mental problems when they developed urinary tract infections. So beware! Recently, I again had a urinary tract infection and was feeling more than the usual amount of anxiety and depression. Tough going. The infection has been cured. But I saw my primary care physician to head off a crisis. Rather than prescribe medications that have a history of working well for me, clonazepam and/or Nardil, she prescribed a medication that has a history of causing more problems for me. Trintellix! All seratonurgic medications (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin, maybe a couple others) caused extreme drowsiness for me. First dose of Trintellix yesterday and I'm wiped out today--can't do a thing. I'll tough it out for a couple more days, but if it doesn't improve I'll stop. The UTI is gone so the crisis has passed for now.
Thanks for listening.
In 2015-2016, I was in crisis and was in a psych ward on and off. I felt there was a trigger. I had a series of urinary tract infections and I believe that was what caused the problems. Of course, the psychiatrist I was dealing with at the hospital would have none of it. But several other people said the had friends or relatives who starting having real mental problems when they developed urinary tract infections. So beware! Recently, I again had a urinary tract infection and was feeling more than the usual amount of anxiety and depression. Tough going. The infection has been cured. But I saw my primary care physician to head off a crisis. Rather than prescribe medications that have a history of working well for me, clonazepam and/or Nardil, she prescribed a medication that has a history of causing more problems for me. Trintellix! All seratonurgic medications (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin, maybe a couple others) caused extreme drowsiness for me. First dose of Trintellix yesterday and I'm wiped out today--can't do a thing. I'll tough it out for a couple more days, but if it doesn't improve I'll stop. The UTI is gone so the crisis has passed for now.
Thanks for listening.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I'm feeling incredibly low. I've got driving anxiety so when I drive, I have a tunnel vision focus on what I'm doing but unfortunately on Friday, it came at a devastating cost.
On a return journey home, I noticed two cars parked up. The weird thing about it was the first car was parked at angle on the grass verge. I just assumed it had been a road traffic accident and went on my merry way home, anxious about getting home and working. Soon after, piles of police cars drove past by my house.
Later on it emerged that one of the cars had a family relative who had been in the driver seat having died from a heart attack. I had driven past - unknowingly as I'd not seen his car - mainly focused on my anxiety than what was happening around me.
I'd rather have stopped, got out, seen whatever state he was in and at least I could console myself that I did something but this alternative, of guilt due to what I didn't do, is worse.
I'm avoiding the family home of theirs until the funeral but yeah, not sure if I will shake off this feeling for a while
On a return journey home, I noticed two cars parked up. The weird thing about it was the first car was parked at angle on the grass verge. I just assumed it had been a road traffic accident and went on my merry way home, anxious about getting home and working. Soon after, piles of police cars drove past by my house.
Later on it emerged that one of the cars had a family relative who had been in the driver seat having died from a heart attack. I had driven past - unknowingly as I'd not seen his car - mainly focused on my anxiety than what was happening around me.
I'd rather have stopped, got out, seen whatever state he was in and at least I could console myself that I did something but this alternative, of guilt due to what I didn't do, is worse.
I'm avoiding the family home of theirs until the funeral but yeah, not sure if I will shake off this feeling for a while
Hoth
1
That'd be a horrible feeling. But if a heart attack is sudden and severe enough that someone goes off the road and presumably loses consciousness, their chances of survival were low even if a paramedic were on the scene immediately. And probably hundreds of other people passed by doing nothing too. I don't think there's anybody (other than law enforcement) who stops to check out every car that pulls over.
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I felt slightly better meeting his children yesterday who seemed so at peace with it all that it put my thoughts in perspective and the right context. Maybe next time I'd try to do something but with my driving anxiety, probably not.
I have to add to this that I spoke to my manager today to say that I was working from home as I was physically exhausted and wanted to take it easy but unfortunately - and she has been excellent with me so far - she barely showed any empathy and instead started to discuss rules and changes to office policy about WFH than putting the former as a first talking point to ask "how are you?" etc. I was so disappointed and listening to a MH webinar which talked about checking with your team about mental wellbeing, I thought it was a huge misstep from her part.
feeling lonely. I've got to go to my walk tomorrow. I don't usually post a lot on here but it's bc I hadn't got to my walks, etc. I hadn't because I had appointments and I'm tired of them bc I get tired bc of my medication. I wasn't on time once. I also have bible studies I reserved in place of the walk so I have had little exercise these day but I have 1 more bible study and then I could go to the walks full-on.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Feeling a bit exhausted. Like I'm missing a day due to attending 2 concerts. One on Tuesday night and another last night. Nice to get out the house, though for what were my first concerts of the year. Even if there was a mix up with mine and my sister's tickets last night due to Ticketmaster giving up incorrect disabled access tickets - despite getting our usual wheelchair user and companion tickets that we've always booked.
Thankfully though, the female staff and woman who was in charge of the box-office were nice enough about the situation and let us stay at the show, instead of kicking us out of the gig. They just moved us to the disabled seating area in the venue's balcony area upstairs, so we still had a good view of the concert stage. Just a shame the headline band wasn't as great as the previous times we'd seen them live in concert.
Thankfully though, the female staff and woman who was in charge of the box-office were nice enough about the situation and let us stay at the show, instead of kicking us out of the gig. They just moved us to the disabled seating area in the venue's balcony area upstairs, so we still had a good view of the concert stage. Just a shame the headline band wasn't as great as the previous times we'd seen them live in concert.
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I'm not sure if walks in this situation is a negative but it reminded me of a long walk I took yesterday to the dentists. I could have taken my car, been home in around 30 minutes. But the way I've been feeling (so physically and mentally exhausted) I thought the driving of a car gives me anxiety so why not walk it. I took two different routes, the way home was longer but it's a space I found to talk to myself as I do about everything. Did I finish it with a plan of how tackling it all? No. But it made me try to action a walk if I don't need to drive somewhere just for space away from everyone.
Hope the walks help for you
aw, you seem so... sad. Why that sad?Feeling a bit exhausted. Like I'm missing a day due to attending 2 concerts. One on Tuesday night and another last night. Nice to get out the house, though for what were my first concerts of the year. Even if there was a mix up with mine and my sister's tickets last night due to Ticketmaster giving up incorrect disabled access tickets - despite getting our usual wheelchair user and companion tickets that we've always booked.
Thankfully though, the female staff and woman who was in charge of the box-office were nice enough about the situation and let us stay at the show, instead of kicking us out of the gig. They just moved us to the disabled seating area in the venue's balcony area upstairs, so we still had a good view of the concert stage. Just a shame the headline band wasn't as great as the previous times we'd seen them live in concert.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Disappointment, mainly. Because my sister and I were hyped and really looking forward to the concert. The pandemic had forced it to be postponed and rescheduled for this year.
It was a triple bill of bands we liked. 2 of which we'd seen in concert before. The headliner we'd twice when they toured with Def Leppard. The band who were 2nd on the bill, we saw back in 2008 - so it'd be over a decade since we last saw them. And they were the best band of the night, in terms of their sound, musicianship and the crowd interaction. They played their set as if they were headlining the show. And the actual headline band just sucked compared to the previous times my sister and I had seen them that we left the gig early.
I see, not totally though but kind of get what you're saying. Ok well, wish you luck in the other events you go to.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sorry to hear that. I can definitely relate to feeling that way when I get depressed as well, sometimes.
SoScared
Well-known member
Mild depression, I get a physical feeling around the mouth, throat esphorigas region due to the quantity of illicits that I've consumed. Feeling low or being lazy. Job's half done with resulting consequences. Also experiencing a lot of bad luck. We call it sods law. Its becoming the norm. Going try and focus on tasks for the rest of the day. Hope your all as well as can be
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Tired in more ways than one. I've got a problem with my laptop that ah cannae figure out how to fix, been at it for a couple days now. And I don't know if my local computer repair business has reopened or went under due to the pandemic. 
And I am fed-up with having the same bloody conversation over n' over again with my oldest sister. The other day there, my oldest sister segued from telling me the latest goings on in Johnny Deep, Amber Heard trial to banging on about narcissism, and how our middle sibling treats our mother. Making observations n' asking me if ever noticed them, like how the middle child doesn't seem to care or huv any empathy for anyone besides themselves. Or how, when she visits my mum and I, she never asks how we're doing or help out around the house. Naw, she just sits in the chair in the living room, on her phone on Facebook. Hardly saying a word to my mum, who's sitting on the couch opposite her. Which is ironic because my sister claims it our mum who won't talk to her.
And still, the oldest is surprised that these observations don't get a different reaction outta me, other than a tired: "Aye, ah know...". Like ah huv'nae hud the misfortune of overhearing our middle sibling fleeing off the handle, shouting n' swearing for the last 2 decades, then acting like the victim when she's called out on her attitude n' behaviour. Or how it's always me who has to deal with the aftermath of any and all massive rows. How am the yin who gets the full-on expletive ridden tirade from my mum, not the person whom it's actually directed at. How I'm never allowed to say anything cuz that'll just make things worse. What with me not being too honest and not one to mince words, or really caring how my words are reacted to when I speak my mind. Typical Scots mentality.
Plus, the middle child doesn't exactly take well to criticism or being judged. But she's more than happy to criticise me and our mother. Me being the waste o' space and mum not doing enough for her, apparently. Even though she's done more for my older sister than she has me growing up. But that fact isn't something that would go down well.
Must be great growing up in, or having, a happy family where ye genuinely love n' care about each other, huh?!
And I am fed-up with having the same bloody conversation over n' over again with my oldest sister. The other day there, my oldest sister segued from telling me the latest goings on in Johnny Deep, Amber Heard trial to banging on about narcissism, and how our middle sibling treats our mother. Making observations n' asking me if ever noticed them, like how the middle child doesn't seem to care or huv any empathy for anyone besides themselves. Or how, when she visits my mum and I, she never asks how we're doing or help out around the house. Naw, she just sits in the chair in the living room, on her phone on Facebook. Hardly saying a word to my mum, who's sitting on the couch opposite her. Which is ironic because my sister claims it our mum who won't talk to her.
And still, the oldest is surprised that these observations don't get a different reaction outta me, other than a tired: "Aye, ah know...". Like ah huv'nae hud the misfortune of overhearing our middle sibling fleeing off the handle, shouting n' swearing for the last 2 decades, then acting like the victim when she's called out on her attitude n' behaviour. Or how it's always me who has to deal with the aftermath of any and all massive rows. How am the yin who gets the full-on expletive ridden tirade from my mum, not the person whom it's actually directed at. How I'm never allowed to say anything cuz that'll just make things worse. What with me not being too honest and not one to mince words, or really caring how my words are reacted to when I speak my mind. Typical Scots mentality.
Plus, the middle child doesn't exactly take well to criticism or being judged. But she's more than happy to criticise me and our mother. Me being the waste o' space and mum not doing enough for her, apparently. Even though she's done more for my older sister than she has me growing up. But that fact isn't something that would go down well.
Must be great growing up in, or having, a happy family where ye genuinely love n' care about each other, huh?!
r there any positives about your family that you could say about them? I was just wondering cuz no family is perfect. I can say very nice stuff about my family and bad stuff but I understand the need to vent about the bad stuff. Maybe a family counselling would be helpful like since your mom is going to counselling services, I thought your whole family could go? I hope you fix your laptop problem, Graeme.Tired in more ways than one. I've got a problem with my laptop that ah cannae figure out how to fix, been at it for a couple days now. And I don't know if my local computer repair business has reopened or went under due to the pandemic.
And I am fed-up with having the same bloody conversation over n' over again with my oldest sister. The other day there, my oldest sister segued from telling me the latest goings on in Johnny Deep, Amber Heard trial to banging on about narcissism, and how our middle sibling treats our mother. Making observations n' asking me if ever noticed them, like how the middle child doesn't seem to care or huv any empathy for anyone besides themselves. Or how, when she visits my mum and I, she never asks how we're doing or help out around the house. Naw, she just sits in the chair in the living room, on her phone on Facebook. Hardly saying a word to my mum, who's sitting on the couch opposite her. Which is ironic because my sister claims it our mum who won't talk to her.
And still, the oldest is surprised that these observations don't get a different reaction outta me, other than a tired: "Aye, ah know...". Like ah huv'nae hud the misfortune of overhearing our middle sibling fleeing off the handle, shouting n' swearing for the last 2 decades, then acting like the victim when she's called out on her attitude n' behaviour. Or how it's always me who has to deal with the aftermath of any and all massive rows. How am the yin who gets the full-on expletive ridden tirade from my mum, not the person whom it's actually directed at. How I'm never allowed to say anything cuz that'll just make things worse. What with me not being too honest and not one to mince words, or really caring how my words are reacted to when I speak my mind. Typical Scots mentality.
Plus, the middle child doesn't exactly take well to criticism or being judged. But she's more than happy to criticise me and our mother. Me being the waste o' space and mum not doing enough for her, apparently. Even though she's done more for my older sister than she has me growing up. But that fact isn't something that would go down well.
Must be great growing up in, or having, a happy family where ye genuinely love n' care about each other, huh?!
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, except the middle sibling. I can't really think of anything positive to say about her, as we never got along when we were younger. She pretty much resented my existence. Not exactly helped by the contempt and lack o' respect she treated me with during my adolescence.
Anyway, positive about my family. My mum's probably the funniest, as far as sense of humour goes. She can always make me laugh. She's a good, kind-hearted and well-meaning. Is always willing to help where and when she can. She puts others needs ahead of her own at times. That's probably where I get my need to people please from? My mum pretty much shaped my taste in music since I was 12 years old.
She's also an avid football fan and a great cook.
The oldest sister is similar in terms of the sense of humour. Though, more like me in terms of making wordplay jokes. And she's got a damn near encyclopedic knowledge of mid-to-late 1970 and early 1980s electronic music.
She helps both my mother and I out, financially. If either of us need help to afford something. Like, how my oldest sister is always happy to either go halves on or give me money towards a new guitar or piece of guitar-related gear, if we happen to end up discussing that while talking about music.
My cousins are great, and a good laugh. As are my nieces.
Ooh... I can't see that going well. Neither of my sisters seems to take my criticism of them particularly well. I mean, last time I attempted to make middle sibling realise how she was coming across to the rest of us. She cursed me out, then accused me of being "overly dramatic" for saying that it was a wonder that I hadn't taken my own life, given the sheer amount of stressful drama I have to deluded myself into thinking is normal.
And when I tried to make a similar point to my oldest sister, she broke down in tears and stormed out the house. Though there's a few years between both those incidents.
Thanks.I hope you fix your laptop problem, Graeme.
I did manage to fix my laptop. It turned out to be an issue with the 3rd party internet security I had installed. So, I've uninstalled it, and am now just using the pre-installed security that my laptop came with when I bought. The problem I had seems to now be resolved.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ugh! My sleep patterns have been all over the place, lately. 
My mum says she's been similar, not really sleeping at night because she just can't get to sleep for whatever reason.
It's now nearly half past 6 in morning where I am, and am still wide awake.
My mum says she's been similar, not really sleeping at night because she just can't get to sleep for whatever reason.It's now nearly half past 6 in morning where I am, and am still wide awake.