How are you feeling?

[LoyalXenite]

I went out tonight for the first time in a long time, granted it was only for a couple hours but it was good. I'd missed that feeling.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Disheartened, like everything I've been told in the past about relationships is basically a lie.

Even from a young age, males are told what women want, silly me believed it - "What women want is someone who is understanding of their emotional needs, someone who is compassionate, their best friend, supportive, a good listener etc etc..."

What I'm coming to realize is it's just not that way at all.

 

[Kiwong]

Disheartened, like everything I've been told in the past about relationships is basically a lie.

Even from a young age, males are told what women want, silly me believed it - "What women want is someone who is understanding of their emotional needs, someone who is compassionate, their best friend, supportive, a good listener etc etc..."

What I'm coming to realize is it's just not that way at all.

I told a guy at work, I wasn't what anyone was looking for. He replied, you don't know what they are looking for.

 

[Graeme1988]

Got told about my relative’s cancer surgery today, a dates been set, they’re getting it done this week. So, I’m hopeful all goes well. Been waiting a few months to hear that news...

Not much else has been happening. Aside from having a good laugh when my nieces came upstairs to my room to see me then refused to go back downstairs when asked to by their mother and granny. And I managed to make both of them laugh whilst I was trimming my beard. Still waiting for it to dawn on their mother that they like their auntie and uncle more than they do her. Quite surprised there’s not been a massive, shouty, swearing row over it, yet. If she already realised this, she has asked me why it is my nieces spending time yapping to me, with the oldest doing most o’ the talking. Though, I probably couldn’t bring myself to just shrug it off n’ say: “Ah don’t know...”

 

[BlueDays]

Disheartened, like everything I've been told in the past about relationships is basically a lie.

Even from a young age, males are told what women want, silly me believed it - "What women want is someone who is understanding of their emotional needs, someone who is compassionate, their best friend, supportive, a good listener etc etc..."

What I'm coming to realize is it's just not that way at all.

Well hell! Those things you listed, are certainly what I look for in a partner!

Sounds like you are just extremely unfortunate to have met mostly mixed up, mean, selfish, superficial, nasty, attention addicted, hollow-headed girls, Pug.

Don't despair though, we are not all like that!

Granted, there are a heck of a lot of girls around today, that are just blindly swallowing every bit of ridiculous, self-defeating bit of brainwashing, that the corporate media can throw at them.

I am female and even I am stunned by the level of gullibility many females possess these days.

Sorry to hear you aren't having much like in the dating game atm, Pug. Don't give up!

 

[FountainandFairfax]

.

Got told about my relative’s cancer surgery today, a dates been set, they’re getting it done this week. So, I’m hopeful all goes well. Been waiting a few months to hear that news...

Not much else has been happening. Aside from having a good laugh when my nieces came upstairs to my room to see me then refused to go back downstairs when asked to by their mother and granny. And I managed to make both of them laugh whilst I was trimming my beard. Still waiting for it to dawn on their mother that they like their auntie and uncle more than they do her. Quite surprised there’s not been a massive, shouty, swearing row over it, yet. If she already realised this, she has asked me why it is my nieces spending time yapping to me, with the oldest doing most o’ the talking. Though, I probably couldn’t bring myself to just shrug it off n’ say: “Ah don’t know...”

Good luck Graeme, I know you've been worried about your relative's health.

I'm also happy to hear that your nieces enjoy your company so much, at least somebody else in your family is sane.

 

[BlueDays]

Got told about my relative’s cancer surgery today, a dates been set, they’re getting it done this week. So, I’m hopeful all goes well. Been waiting a few months to hear that news...

Not much else has been happening. Aside from having a good laugh when my nieces came upstairs to my room to see me then refused to go back downstairs when asked to by their mother and granny. And I managed to make both of them laugh whilst I was trimming my beard. Still waiting for it to dawn on their mother that they like their auntie and uncle more than they do her. Quite surprised there’s not been a massive, shouty, swearing row over it, yet. If she already realised this, she has asked me why it is my nieces spending time yapping to me, with the oldest doing most o’ the talking. Though, I probably couldn’t bring myself to just shrug it off n’ say: “Ah don’t know...”

As they say animals and young children can sense things in people, that adults are too busy to sense.
It seems your nieces could sense that you have a warm heart and are pleasant to be around, Graeme!
You should take your nieces desire to hang out with you, as a compliment to your personality.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Well hell! Those things you listed, are certainly what I look for in a partner!

Sounds like you are just extremely unfortunate to have met mostly mixed up, mean, selfish, superficial, nasty, attention addicted, hollow-headed girls, Pug.

Don't despair though, we are not all like that!

Granted, there are a heck of a lot of girls around today, that are just blindly swallowing every bit of ridiculous, self-defeating bit of brainwashing, that the corporate media can throw at them.

I am female and even I am stunned by the level of gullibility many females possess these days.

Sorry to hear you aren't having much like in the dating game atm, Pug. Don't give up!

Thanks Blue It's good to know there are at least SOME decent girls still out there... somewhere

 

[LoyalXenite]

Well hell! Those things you listed, are certainly what I look for in a partner!

Sounds like you are just extremely unfortunate to have met mostly mixed up, mean, selfish, superficial, nasty, attention addicted, hollow-headed girls, Pug.

Don't despair though, we are not all like that!

Granted, there are a heck of a lot of girls around today, that are just blindly swallowing every bit of ridiculous, self-defeating bit of brainwashing, that the corporate media can throw at them.

I am female and even I am stunned by the level of gullibility many females possess these days.

Sorry to hear you aren't having much like in the dating game atm, Pug. Don't give up!

I agree, those are definitely the qualities I'd want in a partner. Those you listed Pug and a sense of humor are really important qualities

 

[Graeme1988]

As they say animals and young children can sense things in people, that adults are too busy to sense.
It seems your nieces could sense that you have a warm heart and are pleasant to be around, Graeme!
You should take your nieces desire to hang out with you, as a compliment to your personality.

I do take it as a compliment... but then, am shouting, swearing or speaking to them as if they’re older than they actually are. Not that I begrudge them coming to see me now, as much as I did initially. When “We’re going to see Graeme !! Graeme?!” was the first thing my nieces would do once they were in the house. It’s just... once they’re upstairs, they’re f__kin’ adamant about not coming back downstairs. “No, mummy ! I’m not... doing that ! No !”, is the response their mother gets from the oldest when she shouts on them to: “C’mon ! Back downstairs, please !”

Though, ah laughed yesterday when both them, in unison, shouted “No !!” After their mother and granny’s attempted to ask them, for a 2nd time, to come back downstairs for their dinner. They had to come up and get them, but even then they were huvin none o’ it, like. Though, no sooner had they ate their dinner, then they were back upstairs with me. Laughing at me singing along to the chorus of Minerva by Deftones. And at the psychedelic coloured scissors I use to trim my beard, as well as how I trim my beard.

If my older sister hadn’t come upstairs and got them, I doubt they’d huv went home yesterday. Funnily enough, after the youngest got her coat and shoes on, she ran back upstairs. And my door had been left open, so I just hear my sister shouting: “No, yer not going back upstairs ! C’mon, we’re just about to go home !” I’m thinking: aw, she’ll just grab before she makes it halfway up. But, no... Next thing ah hear is: “Graeme... Graeme... Graeme”. And I turn to see my youngest niece smiling at me as she crawling up the last 2 stairs, she then stands up and walks back into my room.

My oldest sister was right, when she asked me: “Whit does that tell ye...?” After I mentioned about them not wanting to comeback downstairs after seeing me.

Though, both of my nieces did help me tidy out a corner of my room, yesterday. that I was doing in between me getting my laptop back in working order. So, they’re more willing to help me out than their mother in that respect. But there no bad lassies, really. Oldest yin just yaps away, telling n’ showing me things. Or, we have our “wee chitchats” as she calls ‘em. And, for the time being, the youngest just says my name, repeatedly... which I’ve no issue with.

.

Good luck Graeme, I know you've been worried about your relative's health.

I'm also happy to hear that your nieces enjoy your company so much, at least somebody else in your family is sane.

Thanks, man. They’re going the operation done at the same hospital where I had my orthopaedic surgery done back in 2016. So, ah just hope they’ve had a heads up about the food on offer, cuz it wasn’t great during my week long stay.

And my nieces huv the right idea. At least me n’ my oldest sister actually engage with them. Aye, ah might be a bit distracted, trying to play something on my guitar or digital piano. But I do pay attention to them when they ask me to watch them do something, or show me something. Or ask follow up question when the oldest is telling me something, I’m not outright ignoring them.

 

[Graeme1988]

I’ve really pissed off lately, to the point where I don’t know if ah even want to write my own music anymore.

Ah genuinely want to just pack up n’ get tha f…k away from where I grew up and have lived my whole life, but that’s easier said than done. Far easily if you can afford to do it, financially.

Just found out, today, from my oldest sister that our middle sibling and her treatment of our mother is the main reason why one of our cousins no longer feels she can come and visit. That explains why she only does the off visit, here n’ there, and doesn’t stay long. It’s because our cousin feels a massive row would just kick off if she spoke up, and said not to speak to our mother the way our middle sibling does and gets away with.

And, after my experience yesterday, with my nieces, my oldest sister and I wondered if our sister (the middle child) was jealousy of the fact that her kids like us more than her. Because that must hurt as a parent ?

Though, we also agreed things can’t keep on going the way they’ve been for the last 2 years. I brought up the idea of us all sitting in the living room, and discussing things. But, knowing how well the women in my family take criticism when the words are comin’ oot my gob, ah doubt that would have the desired affected of changing things for the better.

 

[Graeme1988]

As they say animals and young children can sense things in people, that adults are too busy to sense.
It seems your nieces could sense that you have a warm heart and are pleasant to be around, Graeme!

Plus, I don’t have that dour, unfriendly demeanour about me when they come n’ see. Or I do my best not to across that way. And when they open my bedroom door n’ go: “Graeme ?!” If I’ve got my headphones on, and I’m playing guitar, I usually stop what I’m doing when I see they’ve come in, smile and say: “Hullo”

Then I’ll tell or show them what I’m doing if they ask me.

It’s also quite ironic that, whenever they’re around me or my oldest sister, our nieces are happy and well behaved. But as soon their mother asks, or tells, them to do something, they refuse.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I’ve really pissed off lately, to the point where I don’t know if ah even want to write my own music anymore.

Ah genuinely want to just pack up n’ get tha f…k away from where I grew up and have lived my whole life, but that’s easier said than done. Far easily if you can afford to do it, financially.

Just found out, today, from my oldest sister that our middle sibling and her treatment of our mother is the main reason why one of our cousins no longer feels she can come and visit. That explains why she only does the off visit, here n’ there, and doesn’t stay long. It’s because our cousin feels a massive row would just kick off if she spoke up, and said not to speak to our mother the way our middle sibling does and gets away with.

And, after my experience yesterday, with my nieces, my oldest sister and I wondered if our sister (the middle child) was jealousy of the fact that her kids like us more than her. Because that must hurt as a parent ?

Though, we also agreed things can’t keep on going the way they’ve been for the last 2 years. I brought up the idea of us all sitting in the living room, and discussing things. But, knowing how well the women in my family take criticism when the words are comin’ oot my gob, ah doubt that would have the desired affected of changing things for the better.

Your mom and sisters are just conflict-driven ball busters, Graeme. I don't think they even want peace.

You can't fix them, especially while dealing with your own problems... and you shouldn't have to. If you try to sit down with them they'll just start shouting and try to twist all your arguments around, anyway. They won't let anything upset their rotten little apple-cart.

Just focus on you and try to get out of there when you can. Also, I know it can be disheartening, but if you're able, try to sublimate your resentment into your music, rather than letting it stifle you from creating new songs.

 

[Graeme1988]

Your mom and sisters are just conflict-driven ball busters, Graeme. I don't think they even want peace.

You can't fix them, especially while dealing with your own problems... and you shouldn't have to. If you try to sit down with them they'll just start shouting and try to twist all your arguments around, anyway. They won't let anything upset their rotten little apple-cart.

Och, tae f__k wae them ! They mair alike than they’d care to acknowledge.

I’m just a point where, I’ve honestly had enough. Losing respect for my mother by the day.

As for the older sister (the middle child), I’m seriously on the verge of grabbing her by throat and unleash a torrent of verbal abuse. Me lashing out physically would just result in me killing her, ah know it would. Physical violence, intimidation and emotional abuse seem to be the only languages those 2 understand. Given how I’ve been on the receiving end of it from both of them throughout ma life at some point. And proudly got the scars to show for it.

But this carry on has been gan oan, as I said, for nearly 2 years ! And I’d like it to end, but that’s probably just wishful thinking by this point? Somebuddy’ll need to be deid afore that happens. And how our mother hus’nae took her own life is a miracle, considering what she has to put up with. I’d say “we have put up with...”, but how ah feel counts for f__k all, since am a man and how would ah what it’s like... being a single parent, etc. Y’know, the usual “you dinnae huv empathy” argument. Guess that’s what happens when ya spend much o’ yer f__kin’ life caring for a co-dependent parent, eh ?

Quite ironic that am the yin who has to listen to the arguments n’ complaints, but as soon as ah voice how am feelin’, am telt to either “F__k off !!” Or dismissive asked: “Whit huv you got to be depressed about...? Ooh, a disability or a dysfunctional family, which is worse in grand scheme o’ things?

Just focus on you and try to get out of there when you can. Also, I know it can be disheartening, but if you're able, try to sublimate your resentment into your music, rather than letting it stifle you from creating new songs.

Oh, channeling my rage n’ resentment into my music is easy enough. Using it to write songs that are actually any good is another matter, though. Musically, speaking, anyway - I’ve got plenty of song titles that allude to past incidents. Things said during massive arguments, etc. Not that I don’t want to write “depressing music”, I just don’t fancy writing a whole album’s worth o’ them, y’know?

 

[BlueDays]

Your mom and sisters are just conflict-driven ball busters, Graeme. I don't think they even want peace.

You can't fix them, especially while dealing with your own problems... and you shouldn't have to. If you try to sit down with them they'll just start shouting and try to twist all your arguments around, anyway. They won't let anything upset their rotten little apple-cart.

Just focus on you and try to get out of there when you can. Also, I know it can be disheartening, but if you're able, try to sublimate your resentment into your music, rather than letting it stifle you from creating new songs.

Well said, Fountain.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well today wus crap ! Got woken up by my mother yelling at my older sister over the phone, just because my sister assumed my mother saying “Aye, ah’ll wae ye...and the kids” meant she didn’t want to go somewhere. All because our mother’s tone of voice wus’nae enthusiastic enough.

Then, ah got snapped at for merely pointing out that I’m more than capable o’ looking after myself. And saying how am really effin’ fed-up with all this... having to listen to the arguments. Which occur on a almost daily basis. I don’t think I’ll be around much longer, given how things have been these past 2 years. Which should make my older sister happy, since she always bemoaned me my existence.

On the more positive side o’ things, I refurbished one of my old laptops that’s been laying about, it was still in decent nick so I put a bigger hard drive in it. I’m going to give it to my oldest sister, since she’s been saying to me for sometime now that she needs a laptop with more storage space. And I messed about on my guitar for a couple hours, and came up with a few ideas that I think could be turn into songs.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I have to schedule an appointment for Gus to have his second round of vaccinations this week; the vet's office is full of attractive women and that sort of thing always magnifies my anxiety.

 

[BlueDays]

I have to schedule an appointment for Gus to have his second round of vaccinations this week; the vet's office is full of attractive women and that sort of thing always magnifies my anxiety.

You are the client of the vet, so these attractive women who work there will make sure they are nice to you - even if your anxiety is obvious to them - because it is their job to make you feel welcome.

If they display any negative vibes towards you because you are anxious, then they might be nasty or dumb, therefore there is no need for you to feel nervous around them.

It is so sad that pets get so scared of going to the vet. If only someone could invent an app that translates English into "dog language". Then we can communicate to them that it will be over quickly, and the procedure is going to help them.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Sitting here, trying to get up the nerve to make the phone-call for Gus' appointment.

Dammit, this sucks.

 

[Phoenixx]

Sitting here, trying to get up the nerve to make the phone-call for Gus' appointment.

Dammit, this sucks.

If it makes you feel any better, I had to make a vet appointment today for tomorrow just to get my cat a nail trim. I'm currently recovering from a cold/sinus infection thing so my voice sounds even more weird than usual and I dreaded calling. Had to explain to them that she has a weird non-weight bearing nail (common in polydactyls) in between her toes that constantly curls and this isn't the first time I've had to schedule this. The last time I went, her nail nearly got infected because I didn't watch it. And once again, I haven't been watching it and it's starting to curl. They were super nice about it, even though I feel like a bad pet owner.

So anxious or not, vets and vet techs are meant to be kind and caring people always willing to help. My vet's office is filled with such positive and genuinely nice people, makes the process of scheduling a lot better.