How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Dammit! Can’t sleep. Guess that’s what I get for deciding to lie in bed until well after midday, yesterday. h:

 

[cappatown420]

Am I abnormal for preferring online shopping, rather than having to go into town to the store? :question:

No, you get more options and better prices usually.

Only bad thing is waiting on shipping, and it really better to support local business but I like to shop online.

 

[cappatown420]

I'm feeling a little defeated.

For the past month I've been going to therapy every week rather than once a month. I'm having major family problems/mental health problems and he said the only thing I can really do is figure out my own way to cope with it.

I think the best thing is do is like keeping coasting through and act like it does not bother me, and also take a break from counseling so it's not in my head so much.

I feel like avoiding stuff isn't really the best thing, but otherwise I just get viewed as an *******. And in return makes it harder on my depression.

 

[theslowesthand]

i can relate. i don't think i laugh nice all the time so it's one of my insecurities. i also think God doesn't want everyone to be perfect. if you have sth really great there will always be sth really bad like the yin and the yang. I don't even have to do anything really bad or bad and I've got something really hard I'm dealing with.

Yeah, i was dealt a very hard hand in life, even though i never did anything really bad in this life.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Like noting matters.

 

[theslowesthand]

 

[PugofCrydee]

God is what brings life to things that would matter. God/jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

Please.. can we leave preaching/religion out of this thread??
I thought it was made clear and dealt with before..

 

[Graeme1988]

Going out tonight, but I'm not really in the mood for it. :sad: Been feeling like this a lot lately.

 

[cappatown420]

I think the best thing to do is say whatever you have to say to your counselor and if you don't have anything more to say to stop going b/c i know them, they only listen but not give strong advice that gets into your head. Sorry you're going thru such a hard time, hope you feel better soon! After like a healthy treat. Don't eat bad foods, they can cause depression or for you to feel badly. it's good to have a counsellor in the sense that you have sth transferring to another person as writing to yourself doesn't seem to be as effective. good luck!

I'm scared to transfer to another person because honestly this is the best therapist I've seen.

I've had therapists refuse to see me, cut the time from 1 hour to 15 min because I was unsure of what to say, ask me "Why are you even here?", loads of horrible ones. I don't even want to go anyway so think I'll stay with the safest one I've seen. Not really worth the risk.

 

[Graeme1988]

Undermined yet again. :kickingmyself: No wonder I have such low self esteem. :crying: Not that I have much intention of sticking around much longer, hopefully I’ll be gone before this year is out. :sad:

 

[cappatown420]

Undermined yet again. :kickingmyself: No wonder I have such low self esteem. :crying: Not that I have much intention of sticking around much longer, hopefully I’ll be gone before this year is out. :sad:

I'm assuming your talking about suicide.

When I was in high school, my goal age was 18. Then time went by faster than I thought it would, changed it to 25, etc. blah blah. Turned 27 and OD'd 3 times in 4 months.

I had a weird idea that I would quit smoking weed, quit taking pills (for mental health reasons), and if I still felt horrible after a year, then I would kill myself.

Honestly that would take too much effort.

But, if I still had those pills that I OD'd on, I'd probably have succeeded by now.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm assuming your talking about suicide.

When I was in high school, my goal age was 18. Then time went by faster than I thought it would, changed it to 25, etc. blah blah. Turned 27 and OD'd 3 times in 4 months.

I had a weird idea that I would quit smoking weed, quit taking pills (for mental health reasons), and if I still felt horrible after a year, then I would kill myself.

Honestly that would take too much effort.

But, if I still had those pills that I OD'd on, I'd probably have succeeded by now.

Suicide or moving away from family, either will do, whichever happens first.
At this point in my life, I don’t really care. :sad:

 

[cappatown420]

Suicide or moving away from family, either will do, whichever happens first.
At this point in my life, I don’t really care. :sad:

I feel you, unfortunately I am unable to support myself by myself. Most people have partners or friends to live with them, which makes it easier.

I'll probably die before that happens.

 

[cappatown420]

Yesterday I was in bed for 22 hours. Still fkin exhausted though.

 

[theslowesthand]

The sun is warm; the wind is cold. So i don't know if to call it "a sunny/fine day" as it's an illusion. The wind-chill is BITTER (but i don't have a jacket, only woollen top). The chooks are outside, which means it's a BIT warmer than previous days. It might as well be WINTER, not autumn! :thumbdown:
So i have only been outside doing my steps in a few short bursts, but this is better than nothing .. haven't been outside at all in past few days. Life's boring enough as it is, without being stuff inside & in bed 24/7.

 

[theslowesthand]

The good thing about living in my caravan, is that i get the afternoon sun streaming in thru the large end window, and it reaches the bed about 4pm (unless overcast). The roadside hedge is cut, which allows this also. It is nice & warming. In the cooler months the sun isn't as intense, just warming (if you keep away from wind-chill). And being situated on a ridge, with only a few houses dotted around, means you get almost the maximum amount of sun each day. The house below me is not so lucky, as they get less sunlight in the afternoon, due to the hill (they're "sunset" is earlier than actual sunset). But he's got a pretty wife, so that makes up for it, lol.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I had the worst headache yesterday, nauseous too, so I think it was a migraine.

My blood pressure is high as a kite so that doesn't help things.

 

[cappatown420]

I think if my family knew how often I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, they wouldn't be so mad if I was a success.

 

[PugofCrydee]

God is what brings life to things that would matter. God/jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

Sure sounds like preaching to me.

Here we go again... Im ok with you expressing your point of view so long as you can handle mine on the subject.

Ok with that jinxed?

 

[Graeme1988]

Bored. Tired. Fed up. Pissed off... :kickingmyself: :thumbdown: :sad:

Pretty one of these days I’m going just lose my temper badly enough to the point where I punch someone. :bat: