How are you feeling?

[BlueDays]

Although i'm not that far gone, i do sense my aggressiveness/irritability/restlessness rising up lately. I'm wondering if diet is the cause (too much junk foods, too much coffee in my moffee, too much dark chocolate, eating less overall) :question:

Btw This is just a thought .. could you afford to buy some dirt-cheap plates/etc at a thrift store? (and you can then smash them to your heart's content without worrying about the money) :question:

Yes, I suppose I could get some cheap ones from a thrift store.
Although I would just have to get over the guilt of breaking crockery that people donated for the less fortunate to be able to afford for their household use. :shyness:

I think I might just violently cut, hack and pull a lot of the thick shrubbery in my yard to pieces. I only thought of doing that last night.
Thanks for the suggestion though, theslowesthand.

 

[BlueDays]

First off, hi peeps, its been a while since I've been here. So how am I feeling? Really upset.
My cat woke me up messing with my window blinds, I got up move my dresser aside so he can't get back there, got back on bed and went to sleep with on my chest.
Woke up, he leaves my room, walks around, usual stuff. I put my shows on to go to work, he jumps on the table and make a growling/groaning sound. I get up to look and he's unconscious (never happened before). Took him to an animal hospital and he had already passed away. Apparently a heart failure.
I had a test a little over a month ago cause the vet heard a murmur, but I didn't hear back from them (i think they called the wrong number). After call I g the today they told me they left a message that he had an advanced murmur, I've been feeling g extra terrible cause I feel like its my fault. Maybe if I had acted quicker or more proactively hrs still be here. But at the same time, if it was advanced enough there might have been nothing they could do.
Well anyway that was my day. I had a cat previously that had feline leukemia, I don't intend to get another cat anytime soon, this past cat was a "replacement" for the other, just filled with a sad emptiness of not having a pet. Now though I almost feel cursed, like I'm dooming the next pet I get.

So sorry that your cat passed away, Metal_isthe_Answer. :sad:

Just because you have had the misfortune of having two pets that ended up with serious health problems which caused them to pass away, it does not necessarily mean you are 'cursed'.
There is no reason why you could not end up with an extrememly healthy pet next time. Anyway give yourself some time to grieve this one first of course. Is there something you could do to really distract your mind for a while?

 

[BlueDays]

You have to throttle it.

Go full Boston Strangler on that sumbitch, then bury your face into it and scream.

:thumbup:

Yes, I have always wanted to scream into my pillow really loud!, but I have always lived with neighbours so close and with walls as cheap and thin as cardboard, so I am too afraid they will hear me! :thinking:

I've come up with violently murdering the shrubs in my backyard instead. Don't know why I did not think of that before. h:

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

So sorry that your cat passed away, Metal_isthe_Answer. :sad:

Just because you have had the misfortune of having two pets that ended up with serious health problems which caused them to pass away, it does not necessarily mean you are 'cursed'.
There is no reason why you could not end up with an extrememly healthy pet next time. Anyway give yourself some time to grieve this one first of course. Is there something you could do to really distract your mind for a while?

Thank you.
I had a cat beforehand that lived for 19 years, I just kind of feel like I should have been faster to act and contact the vet. I've done a little reading on heart murmurs and I get the impression that they are oftentimes not fatal, but they can help detect an underlying problem. I'm just upset because I wonder if we could have done more, but one month is still a narrow time frame, and he showed absolutely no symptoms foreshadowing something like this.
One part that's irritating for me is that I can't physically cry, trying to actually hurts my eye (i had an aneurysm 8 years ago), it feels like it would be somewhat relieving to actually cry.
For now I think I'm going to watch some anime and take my mind off things.

 

[Graeme1988]

So you reckon you live in the "an.us of the world"? I thought it was a town in my country, at the bottom of the world

Well, the regional part of Scotland where I live is often called the arse-end of the country, given how far south my town is located. So, make o' that what you will... :bigsmile:

 

[Graeme1988]

I don't really see much point doing anything, really. My family seem determined to discourage me from doing what I want to do. So, why bother? :idontknow: :sad:

I get the feeling that I'm not going to be around to see next year. Because, to be honest, I'm done. Dead inside. Nothing left to live for aside from a set of fairly expensive guitars, an electric keyboard and a stray cat who seems overly fond of me for some reason. Why not family? Considering how shitty they've been toward me over the last few years, and still remain to be, I'm passed caring about 'em to honest. Used to love 'em; not so much now.

 

[defiance]

I want out of this nightmare. Life is not precious for me. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY:kickingmyself::crying:

 

[Graeme1988]

I want out of this nightmare. Life is not precious for me. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY:kickingmyself::crying:

Aye, it's much the same for me. Or it could be worse, since I've got to put up with being told I'm always wrong all the time, and whenever I dared to ask why this is case, my mum will say: "Because..." And just leave it at that, and laugh.
Since I'm seen as a joke. And how I dare I question my only parent's reasoning or judgement. :kickingmyself:

 

[theslowesthand]

Yes, I suppose I could get some cheap ones from a thrift store.
Although I would just have to get over the guilt of breaking crockery that people donated for the less fortunate to be able to afford for their household use. :shyness:

YOU'RE the less fortunate!!

I think I might just violently cut, hack and pull a lot of the thick shrubbery in my yard to pieces. I only thought of doing that last night

Just make sure they have no thorns/etc, as these can fight back!

 

[theslowesthand]

I don't really see much point doing anything, really. My family seem determined to discourage me from doing what I want to do. So, why bother? :idontknow: :sad:

That seems quite bizarre, as on the one hand they're like 'you can do anyone', 'you're very capable' .. but on the other hand 'but DON'T SHOW US how capable ye are, just keep it ter yerself' as it will show US up as lazy, etc. I dunno, but that's the impression i get anyway... :question:

 

[theslowesthand]

Aye, it's much the same for me. Or it could be worse, since I've got to put up with being told I'm always wrong all the time, and whenever I dared to ask why this is case, my mum will say: "Because..." And just leave it at that, and laugh.
Since I'm seen as a joke. And how I dare I question my only parent's reasoning or judgement. :kickingmyself:

If by "wrong" you mean morally-wise (not the correct answer to a question), then i'm afraid it's very hard to argue against, esp if the other person is so self-righteous & confident & believable. It's one of those things that is very non-objective (ie totally subjective), and almost impossible to argue about it rationally - it's all emotional & manipulative, it is. :thumbdown:

 

[Graeme1988]

That seems quite bizarre, as on the one hand they're like 'you can do anyone', 'you're very capable' .. but on the other hand 'but DON'T SHOW US how capable ye are, just keep it ter yerself' as it will show US up as lazy, etc. I dunno, but that's the impression i get anyway... :question:

Naw, yer pretty spot - that's exactly how it is. Because I tend to be someone who, if I set my mind to doing something, then most likely I'll do it. Whereas my family are: "Aye, we'll get that done... eventually"

My oldest sister even, half-jokingly, tasked me with motivating and helping our mum to get things done around the house. Instead of her lying on luving room couch most of the day. But whenever I do try and go: "C'mon, let get this done the day" I'm accused of being a nag. :idontknow:

If by "wrong" you mean morally-wise (not the correct answer to a question), then i'm afraid it's very hard to argue against, esp if the other person is so self-righteous & confident & believable. It's one of those things that is very non-objective (ie totally subjective), and almost impossible to argue about it rationally - it's all emotional & manipulative, it is. :thumbdown:

Oh aye, we're talking morally here. The "I'm right, you're wrong because I'm right" mentality. I've just gave up trying to reason with 'em, so just agree. Grin n' bare it; keep the peace. Cuz, otherwise, the tears and hissy-fit tantrums start and calling an effin' b@$%@** and what not.

 

[AtTheGates]

I know I should be mad at you. I should probably even HATE you... but I don't...and I just CANT. I can't bring myself to harbor those kinds of feelings toward you.. If I could stop loving I WOULD (because it would probably be a smart idea).............but regardless of everything, I still have feelings for you and care about you.



maybe that makes me a moron but oh well I guess.

 

[AtTheGates]

damn I just wish I could hear from her right about now

 

[Graeme1988]

I know I should be mad at you. I should probably even HATE you... but I don't...and I just CANT. I can't bring myself to harbor those kinds of feelings toward you.. If I could stop loving I WOULD (because it would probably be a smart idea).............but regardless of everything, I still have feelings for you and care about you.



maybe that makes me a moron but oh well I guess.

Well you're obviously a very caring person, judging by how much this lose of friendship has affected you. So I wouldn't say that makes you a moron, far from it. The fact you don't feel any anger or resentment towards this girl, despite what she did to you, says a lot.

Though, I can kinda relate, myself. I had a friend whom I was fairly close to just cut me outta his life without an explanation years ago. Still haven't really gotten over it, to be honest.

Anyway, stay strong. :thumbup:

 

[AtTheGates]

Well you're obviously a very caring person, judging by how much this lose of friendship has affected you. So I wouldn't say that makes you a moron, far from it. The fact you don't feel any anger or resentment towards this girl, despite what she did to you, says a lot.

Though, I can kinda relate, myself. I had a friend whom I was fairly close to just cut me outta his life without an explanation years ago. Still haven't really gotten over it, to be honest.

Anyway, stay strong. :thumbup:

thanks man

i know what you mean, idk if ill ever get over it either. I just feel like no one as perfect as her will enter my life ever again. like a got lucky or something and opportunity knocked but i screwed up and couldn't answer. now she's gone. I blew it.

its kind of a rare occurrence that someone like her just walks into my life so when she did I was completly taken aback . i'll never get over her. its like her beautiful smile is seared into my memory. I wish there was SOMETHING I could do to have another chance at even just being FRIENDS with her.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I feel awful, just awful. Life is much too heavy and much too long.

 

[defiance]

The fog of depression and anxiety is getting thicker. It is almost impossible to see where I am and where I am going and this then leads to immense frustration. That's where I am right now. I am praying for a complete 180 very soon. If not then well....I just don't know. This life indeed is too heavy.

 

[Aine35]

Stuck,
no way out,
same-old, same-old!

I have no friends, nobody gets me and I really don't see any change happening soon! I live life through the internet and sometimes I really feel like a waste of space (feeling really sorry for myself right now)!

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel awful, just awful. Life is much too heavy and much too long.

The fog of depression and anxiety is getting thicker. It is almost impossible to see where I am and where I am going and this then leads to immense frustration. That's where I am right now. I am praying for a complete 180 very soon. If not then well....I just don't know. This life indeed is too heavy.

Stuck,
no way out,
same-old, same-old!

I have no friends, nobody gets me and I really don't see any change happening soon! I live life through the internet and sometimes I really feel like a waste of space (feeling really sorry for myself right now)!

I can definitely relate to how the 3 of you. Though, particular you - Aine. I've felt the same way for many years now. :sad:

Sorry yer all so feeling so down at the moment, folks. I wish ah could say something positive, but I can't find the words that could make you feel better, right. :idontknow: