How are you feeling?

I feel i'll either get out into the world, start living, etc, or i shall do myself in. It just seems that those are my 2 sole options left, don't ask me why.
 
For my whole life, it has seemed that all "the good stuff" is only fantasy (tv, imagination, music, ..), and that reality is pure-and-simple just a huge bore.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Why is it, ye do stuff for other folk, right? Out of yer ain free n' that, but they don't bother to do the same for you in return. C*%^$! :mad:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Now I have a new issue to deal with. I keep fearing that I am going to outlive my parents. This is seriously scaring the s**t out of me and I can't get over it. It's been about 2 weeks now that this started happening. As if I didn't have enough on my plate and now this.:kickingmyself:

I stopped fear outliving ma parent when ma dad went 4 years ago, nearly 5 years now.
I do fear not being able to cope by myself, though – my disability doesnae exactly make living by myself the easiest thing to do.

Is it just me, or does life get harder as you get older? Sometimes the boredom is beyond words, and it's every day, and it never improves.

Aye, it does. Though, ah should know…. It’s been hard going from day one. No sayin’ that to get sympathy – aww, poor you. For me it’s just a fact.

For my whole life, it has seemed that all "the good stuff" is only fantasy (tv, imagination, music, ..), and that reality is pure-and-simple just a huge bore.

:thumbup: Nothin’ more to add, ya summed it up perfectly, there.
 

Louco

Well-known member
Why am I this angry? Feeling like my chest is about to burst, I can't see straight, I can't even lie down on my bed, I feel like smashing something. The same annoying disrespect for the millionth time, yes, and when I'm in pain and was sleeping, but still not a deliberate attempt to **** with me, so I like to think I'm more composed than this anyway.

Today we are cheating and using the clonazepam... Damn...
 

Brittney81

New member
I'm new to this website stumbled upon it by accident actually, but decided to join as it's nice to know that there are other people out there who are struggling through life with some of the same thoughts and feelings I have and to have someone to talk to whose dealing with some of the same issues. I feel like most of the time I'm just in survival mode and not really living life. That I am like the walking dead and there's no point to my life. Like it's a mistake and i shouldn't be here. If given the choice to whether or not I ever existed I would choose to never have existed at all. The only reason I'm here is for my family and it's hard to wake up in the morning and keep running on the hamster wheel when it all feels so pointless. I wish I could give my life to someone who wants to be in this world, like my best friend who died of cancer, she should be here not me.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Quite tired, due to being unable to get a goodnight's sleep. :thumbdown:
Was up most of the night thinking about stuff, worrying, and feelin' annoyed about something that happened to me yesterday.
 

defiance

Well-known member
You try and change but your issues keep you from doing it and you end up more sad and bored than you were before. The thought of change should be a welcoming one and yet it scares the crap out of me. There is just no winning. To quote what Brittney81 said, I too wish I could give my life to someone who wants to be here because for the longest time I have felt that I just don't belong. Life is meant for those who want to live it, not someone like me who is just taking up space and wasting time.:crying:
 
I'm new to this website stumbled upon it by accident actually, but decided to join as it's nice to know that there are other people out there who are struggling through life with some of the same thoughts and feelings I have and to have someone to talk to whose dealing with some of the same issues. I feel like most of the time I'm just in survival mode and not really living life. That I am like the walking dead and there's no point to my life. Like it's a mistake and i shouldn't be here. If given the choice to whether or not I ever existed I would choose to never have existed at all. The only reason I'm here is for my family and it's hard to wake up in the morning and keep running on the hamster wheel when it all feels so pointless. I wish I could give my life to someone who wants to be in this world, like my best friend who died of cancer, she should be here not me.
Hello Brittney, welcome to the site. :)

It is such a mixed emotions experience to read a post that someone has written that you realize you could have written it yourself, word for word.

Part of you is sad that others are going through what you know is so difficult, and part of you is comforted that you're not the only one in the world that has those exact same feelings.
 
Not quite as bored today .. are reading some webpages on boredom. So that'll keep me occupied i guess, until i get bored with that. But i really think i need some more non-pc activities to fill in each day.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Not quite as bored today .. are reading some webpages on boredom. So that'll keep me occupied i guess, until i get bored with that. But i really think i need some more non-pc activities to fill in each day.

:thinking: Something creative might help, you still interested in learning to play the harmonica? I know for me, huvin a guitar at hand keeps me occupied. Even if I'm not in the mood to play, I usually ended up playing a good hour, at least. And I normally ended with a new riff idea, by the end of that period.

Go for a walk, even. Or exercise is another good 'un... :idontknow: Though, that does require gittin' aff yer arse n' making the effort. And if ye can't be arsed, then ya just can't be arsed.
 

Requiescat

Well-known member
Been struggling the past three months with heart problem. Doctors haven't been able to find out why; 4 ECGs, 2 blood tests and chest x-rays... nothing. They give me some peptac indigestion solution in the mean time. Ridiculous! Supposed to get a letter about a 24 hour heart monitor, that was over a week ago. Been unable to exert myself at all, so very frustrated to say the least.
 
:thinking: Something creative might help, you still interested in learning to play the harmonica? I know for me, huvin a guitar at hand keeps me occupied. Even if I'm not in the mood to play, I usually ended up playing a good hour, at least. And I normally ended with a new riff idea, by the end of that period.

Go for a walk, even. Or exercise is another good 'un... :idontknow: Though, that does require gittin' aff yer arse n' making the effort. And if ye can't be arsed, then ya just can't be arsed.
Sometimes i try to play along to neil young songs (the harmonica parts; & the guitar parts with guitar). Might have maybe play more often; put more effort into it; & learn more songs.

Went for a walk & burnt some rubbish today. I try to do that every day; gets me out of the house. On return i guess my boredom was a little less. And ate a grapefruit from tree.

Recently read that antidepressants switch the order of motivation for things, so that there's only motivation once you have started doing the activity. Makes sense, as my motivation for everything has vanished into thin air.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Relaxed. Kinda. I feel anxiety creeping up on me though, as I want to stress and worry about upcoming assignments and projects. I swear it feels like it never ends. :sad:
 
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