How are you feeling?

[mantishugo]

Ashamed and distraught from a couple of photos my bf took of me unknowingly. Dont want to be seen at all- known or anything now : ( .

I just dont understand how I can look like that and yet in my good mirrors look different. I mean I just dont know how I look. I thought I was going around fine until the other week he told me things that shattered my perception image of how I thought I looked and then today these photos attest to what he meant/ to me but worse.

I want to run away and hide in shame and sdaness and grief.

Why do you think that it is just outer-appearance what matters in this society? This is just an illusion. He is nobody who can tell you how you look. He only described how he looks at you. He doesn't deserve you. So, don't be ashamed and try to live your life with jest, mirth and happiness! Try to smile now and think about that negative feeling. You cannot think of that, I can bet! :applause:

 

[BlueDays]

Broken, alone, hopeless. The future looks grim.

Yes it does. It seems that many, many people on this planet feel this despair too. :sad:
I am quite puzzled that so many people just keep living. :idontknow:
You would think with so much depression and anxiety in society today, there would be frequent suicide epidemics.

 

[Graeme1988]

Emasculated. Miserable. Broken. Lonely. Afraid. Suicidal... but who cares?

How I feel doesnae seem to concern my family. Since they don't believe I have anxiety or depression and I'm faking it for attention. The irony...

Ah feel that there's no real point in continuing to live. I mean, there's nothin' keepin' me here as such. Other than a family who don't reallly care about me, because everytime I do somethin' for myself, or try to, they make it about them. :kickingmyself: Oh, and I'm not allow express a differing opinion, because they're always right and I'm always wrong. :idontknow:

And they wonder why I hate them so much...

So, y'know, best to shut ma gob, fake a smile and pretend I'm happy. :crying:

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

Sad and intimidated. I'm in a foreign country, living in someone else's home while I try to find work. Today I got attacked in that home by my boyfriend's ex girlfriend, we got her out. She tried like... wrestling with me?? Called me fat, ugly, told me no one likes me, every name under the sun (everything an anxiety sufferer loves to hear).
But how am I ever going to feel safe again here? What happens if she comes again and I'm here alone? If someone would give me a job with accommodation I could get out but my anxiety is ruining that for me. I'm still shaking, it's completely sullied my new start here

 

[defiance]

Like my being has been shattered into a million pieces. The thought of putting all the pieces back is too daunting so I might as well give up.:crying:

 

[Graeme1988]

Like my being has been shattered into a million pieces. The thought of putting all the pieces back is too daunting so I might as well give up. :crying:

I've been feelin' the same way these past few days as well. :sad:

 

[defiance]

I wish I had the courage to off myself. I don't want to do this anymore. Wake up, suffer, go to sleep then repeat. Come on something has got to give here. I ....I just don't want to hurt anymore man I can't stand it. Fighting this damn mental cancer for over a decade has weakened my will power too much. I just can't do it anymore.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Stomach-churning waves of despair, loneliness, remorse. What's the point of living if this is all there is?

I wish I had someone to talk to. Really, almost anyone would do, but not some "anonymous" service fronting for the authorities. I don't need to be locked up for feeling bad or shot in the back for "resisting." I just need to have one real human being on my side, one honest voice on the phone, one friend I can count on when the darkness rolls in. Why is that so much to ask?

I can't remember how long it's been since I talked to someone on the phone about anything other than business. Two, maybe three years? I dunno. I'm a lost number, a forgotten address. I'm a scrap of paper crumpled and thrown in the trash because no one remembers what it was for. Just a sequence of meaningless digits, that's me. Just another piece of trash.

 

[treegirl]

Embarrassed. I suffered a psychotic episode last year and said some pretty crazy things. I guess I can't blame myself, but I'm worried about being judged by people. I guess I can't blame them either if they do.

Other than that, I'm psyched to be in a choir this year.

 

[Jungle]

Feeling bored, I want to fight someone.

 

[mantishugo]

In bible it is written, complaining is a sin. I wonder what that means and how one can apply that quote in his life when so much negativity is around all the time.

 

[Kiwong]

In reaching out to people I think it becomes clearer to me I'd be happier hanging out with a menagerie of pets.
The most at peace I've been lately has been near the ocean with my back turned to the world of people.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Other than that, I'm psyched to be in a choir this year.

Good for you! :thumbup:

I wish I could do that again. :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

Feeling bored, I want to fight someone.

C'mon then...

 

[Graeme1988]

Stomach-churning waves of despair, loneliness, remorse. What's the point of living if this is all there is?

This is how I've been feelin' for the past few weeks.

Though, I'm lookin' forward to gettin' back into playing my guitar again. So at least there's that... :idontknow: Ah know, but ah huv'nae got anythin' else to occupy ma time with.

 

[BlueDays]

In reaching out to people I think it becomes clearer to me I'd be happier hanging out with a menagerie of pets.
The most at peace I've been lately has been near the ocean with my back turned to the world of people.

Amen to that! :thumbup:
Although for me it is when the only people I am relating too are on my computer screen that I can turn off is the need arises.
Have you been able to get another bird to fill the void that the loss of your last cockatiel would have made, Kiwong?

 

[Kiwong]

Amen to that! :thumbup:
Although for me it is when the only people I am relating too are on my computer screen that I can turn off is the need arises.
Have you been able to get another bird to fill the void that the loss of your last cockatiel would have made, Kiwong?

No I haven't Bluedays. I'm thinking down the track of getting an eclectus parrot. Something long-lived that will outlive me. Really uncertain about facing the possibility of losing another pet.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Useless. I never help anyone, not even myself. I only create confusion and other problems, and then I scurry away without straightening up the mess. I'm a poor citizen of this place called life.

 

[defiance]

Everyone and everything would have been so much better if I was never born.:crying::crying:

 

[theslowesthand]

Just hanging in there. Gradually falling deeper & deeper into another damn depression. Using everything i know mentally/spiritually to "stay afloat".

Not helping is a socialphobiaworld member i regularly do PMs with has decided to "off" himself within the next week.

:crying: