How are you feeling?

BlueDays said: ↑

I know it is easier said than done, but I have managed to hang on to the knot at the end of my rope for a loooong time now because I remind myself that letting go of it would be worse. 🙂

Hang in there, this portrait! (pun intended 🤭)

Not diminishing the seriousness of what your facing, just sometimes a little laughter can be a tremendous help in taking the edge off trouble.

Thanks. I just wish I had more control over things, then maybe I wouldn't be hanging by a slippery thread that could, for all I know, already been cut.

I wish the world would just be done with it and bring about its own end.

I'd love to sit on the edge of a cliff and watch the world implode.

Lonely. Ive felt so lonely lately. I wish i could just sleep this life away.

Thinking about leaving soon. =|

Coming apart, but needing to keep it together. Not sure that I can ever make it out of where I am. And all this is invisible to everyone but me

BlueDays said: ↑

Yes, your mother - and women in general - should definitely not tar all men with the same brush. It is quite lazy to assume "all men are the same" when you have come across a few nasty ones.

Aye, but that's "radical' feminism for ya. Y'know the thick as f*** kind. Not the let's respect each other and get along sorta equality. Instead of this daft idea that wimmin are far superior to men "Battle of the Sexes" pish that we see a lot of today in the media.

Sorry, just venting there... Wouldnae tae start a heated discussion oan that topic. Just givin' ma opinion. An if ye disagree with me then fair enough. Ah dinnae like starting argument with folk who are you clearly mair intelligent an clued up than a gobshite like me. :bigsmile:

BlueDays said: ↑

Could you ask your mother to go to another room whenever she is talking to your sister about her marital problems next time it happens? Or would that make her even more angry? :sad: You shouldn't have to listen to such stressful negativity when your body is trying to heal after your surgery.

Tried to but sadly she just scowls and lies down on the bed that was intended for me as part of may recovery & has most of her phone calls within earshot of me. The only time she goes upstairs is to "Give me some peace". Which is ironic...

But as ah have said on this forum before am used to hearing such emasculating remarks from my mum and sisters. An no just tha fact am a man, either. Ah hud may taste in music, movies and comedy mocked by

Mum still says them but when I criticise her she plays the victim or says she didn't mean it and was joking. Hilarious, eh?

Much like the time ah telt her ah wus feeling depressed an she telt me to take my own life. Which will happen, eventually. Just give it acfew more years. No matter how many times my mum says she'd be heartbroken if I did. Strange how dysfunctional folk only start really caring about ye when yer gone, isn't it?

But, apparently, it's still the men who huv'nae got empathy... Pfft! Aye right, sure.

So there ain't much I can do at the moment to make my mum realise the damage this is doing to me, personally. Not that the wimmin in ma family huv been great at understanding my perspective. Despite, y'know... Thinkin' so highly of me. :idontknow: :thumbdown:

nodejesque said: ↑

Lonely. Ive felt so lonely lately. I wish i could just sleep this life away.

Me too. Me too.

Caught between boredom and fatigue... Really knackered. But then not being able to get a comfy doesnae exactly things.

Also, am feelin' lonely. Despite to get back upstair to my room, playing my guitar and trying to get in better physical shape.

On a more happy note, my recovery from all that surgery is going well.

Ah just hope that ah don't miss the Glasgow Comedy Festival this year, as ah booked tickets for shows well in advance of me gettin' ma surgery. Thinkin' surgery in January, then, hopefully, am fit enough to get intae a car and wheelchair by March an away we go off tae Glesga. :bigsmile: :praying:

Other than that, ma family seem to hindering my recovery more than helping. Doing the opposite of everything ah ask. But that's nothing new, it's their way or nae way as per usual. :kickingmyself:

Hopeless....

Trying to reel back from an emotional breakdown I had last night.

alwayssunnyinphiladelphia said: ↑

Sorry I know the feeling it is still hard for me on birthdays and stuff 16 years on, do you have any siblings you could maybe see, I speak to my sister on birthdays and anniversary's it makes it a bit happier

Thank you (and its been a while :greeting: hope youre doing ok 🙂)

I don't have much contact with family which is fine. More people =more obligations haha how cynical of me.

My parents divorced when I was young and my mam got me in the divorce and it was just the two of us but unfortunately she got cancer when I was 19 and...yea :sad:

I guess because I have moved away after that the people I know now never met her and I'm not in touch with her friends or family. I tell my boyfriend a funny story about something she did and he doesnt really get it cos he doesn't know what she was like, he doesn't understand why the situations she got herself into were so funny. Im sure you can relate.

Pissed off that naebuddy in ma family seem tae listen to me ataw. :kickingmyself: But that's nuthin' new.... :veryangry:

How many times d'they need tae hear me say: JUST LEAVE IT AS IS !! :oh: Now... make like a tree an get tae f***!! Wish ah hud mair happy things tae post aboot here, other than ma recovery progress of ma recent surgery.
Ah just complain oan mair than anythin', which cannae be grest fur tha rest o' ye to hear aw tha time? :sad:

I just want to sleep.

Feeling unwanted, ignored...

Sometimes I dream of living in a new place, back in the City, safe in anonymity, and in that dream I feel so light, as if the weight of fear and hostility I feel living in this insular country town I currently live is lifted from my shoulders.

Looks like another weekend of suck

Kiwong said: ↑

Sometimes I dream of living in a new place, back in the City, safe in anonymity, and in that dream I feel so light, as if the weight of fear and hostility I feel living in this insular country town I currently live is lifted from my shoulders.

^With all the job cuts in the field of science around the country going on, I am surprised you still have your job, Kiwong.
At least if your if your job is ever cut, you can then move to the city again and be able blend in amongst the crowds. I think I would go crazy living in a small town and having everyone you walk past knowing about you. :/



I am stuck in the Catch 22 situation of needing to exercise, but not having anywhere near the energy to do it.
Even though I know exercising will give me a little burst of energy...but I need the energy to start exercising in the first place! :kickingmyself:

This sums up how I feel right now perfectly....

this_portrait said: ↑

Feeling unwanted, ignored...

Aye, me too. But that's how ah feel maist days, sadly.

Ah could probably kill myself the morra an very few folk would even notice or truly care in the slightest. Since most people in ma life are cruel, full of shit, uncaring folk. Despite proclaiming to be the exact opposite of what ah just described.

BlueDays said: ↑

I am stuck in the Catch 22 situation of needing to exercise, but not having anywhere near the energy to do it.
Even though I know exercising will give me a little burst of energy...but I need the energy to start exercising in the first place! :kickingmyself:

That's been kinda my life for the past couple of years. I used to have quite a bit of energy and either ran or did some kinda exercise often. Once you fall of the wagon its hard as heck to get back on. Every once in a while I get going but then fall out of it again. I wish personal coaches were cheap. I need some kinda motivator.

Blue Days, with exercise I reckon the first 5 minutes is the hardest once I am started I start to enjoy it. Walking is a fantastic exercise even 20-30 minutes a day