#47041
_brain fog_
#47041
How are you feeling?
#47041
#47042
^ You handled that so well, Kiwong! :perfect:Kiwong said: ↑Today I stood silently in a place that was really frightening for me. I have been worried about it for weeks.
Last year someone called me a 'head job.' at this event, and this has deeply upset me, affected my health most of last year, and I nearly gave running away because of it.
Before today I had seemed to have three options to 1) walk away and not return 2) to speak out 3) to stand silent and let my actions speak for me.
I chose the third option, and today turned out to be a good day. I went there, and stood silently in the place that scared me most, and showed everyone who I am by my actions. I know that speaking out just increases hostility, I think standing silently shows more dignity.
#47043
Like am just a burden tae those around me, ultimately. :sad:
Kinda frustrated that things huv'nae wirked oot as ah'd hoped. Am still clingin' tae tha hope that ah get the surgery which ah need this year, which ah thought ah'd huv got by now. But ah've got a funny feelin' gettin' the surgery'll mean ah'll need cancel ma visit tae Edinburgh this summer. :thumbdown:
An' here wus me thinkin' this year would mark a change fur me, but it's no' happen as yet. Ma family still feel the need tae dictate an' guilt me intae do things they think ah should be doing. Still, if ye just agree an' tell 'em whit they want tae hear, they'll shut their hole.
Kinda frustrated that things huv'nae wirked oot as ah'd hoped. Am still clingin' tae tha hope that ah get the surgery which ah need this year, which ah thought ah'd huv got by now. But ah've got a funny feelin' gettin' the surgery'll mean ah'll need cancel ma visit tae Edinburgh this summer. :thumbdown:
An' here wus me thinkin' this year would mark a change fur me, but it's no' happen as yet. Ma family still feel the need tae dictate an' guilt me intae do things they think ah should be doing. Still, if ye just agree an' tell 'em whit they want tae hear, they'll shut their hole.
#47044
Amputated, and still bleeding.
#47045
#47046
I found a mostly deserted part of campus outside with plenty of places to sit. It's sunny and the harbor breeze is soooo pleasant. I feel peaceful :3 I have my own bench! haha. Fruck I'm tired though.
#47047
I ordered something from Ebay last week, and the package arrived yesterday... opened with no item inside.
I contacted the seller, and long story short, they're sending me another one, but they basically called me a thief.
Eat it.
Truth be told, I didn't really hold them accountable for something that happened to the package after it left their facility, but if they're gonna be ****s about it and jump down my throat, then I'll let them send me another one.
I contacted the seller, and long story short, they're sending me another one, but they basically called me a thief.
Eat it.
Truth be told, I didn't really hold them accountable for something that happened to the package after it left their facility, but if they're gonna be ****s about it and jump down my throat, then I'll let them send me another one.
#47048
Had a curious dream that was pleasant at the time, but on waking reminded me of what I'm missing out on in awake world - left me feeling a bit...idk. Went for walk and happened to spot someone who's in town on motion picture business who I admire for a strong role they've played, so now feeling lucky and a little star struck :shyness:
#47049
What the hell? Are you ok?NathanielWingatePeaslee said: ↑Amputated, and still bleeding.
^ :veryangry: *insert a variety of curse words aimed an employee somewhere who opened a package that did not belong to them* :thumbdown:FountainandFairfax said: ↑I ordered something from Ebay last week, and the package arrived yesterday... opened with no item inside.
I contacted the seller, and long story short, they're sending me another one, but they basically called me a thief.
Eat it.
Truth be told, I didn't really hold them accountable for something that happened to the package after it left their facility, but if they're gonna be ****s about it and jump down my throat, then I'll let them send me another one.
^ kihira, you can not honestly tease us with that post and then think we would let you get away with not revealing who this motion-picture-strong-role-they've-played-person you saw on your walk was!?kihira said: ↑Had a curious dream that was pleasant at the time, but on waking reminded me of what I'm missing out on in awake world - left me feeling a bit...idk. Went for walk and happened to spot someone who's in town on motion picture business who I admire for a strong role they've played, so now feeling lucky and a little star struck :shyness:
*gets out her torture-tickling-kit* don't make me have to use this! 🙄
#47050
Nah, if I said, most people would say "who's that?'...but I'll leave you a clue in my profile page 🤭BlueDays said: ↑^ kihira, you can not honestly tease us with that post and then think we would let you get away with not revealing who this motion-picture-strong-role-they've-played-person you saw on your walk was!?
#47051
I'm feeling that same old feeling that always grinds my life to a halt. It's that kind of tired, sad, lonely feeling. The feeling of being unloved. The fear that I'm a loser. That I've failed somehow. That my lack of social courage is quietly killing me, starving me of affection. Argh, I wish I could shake it off somehow. I wish I didn't have to admit it. But I suspect it's a feeling common to all humanity at some point or another and in varying degree's, so I'll grin and bear it and keep focusing on the positives. Onwards and upwards!
#47052
Just tryin' tae come tae term with the fact that ah don't really fit in anywhere.
There is a lot of pain inside. I've been through a lot. At times, it really does feel like no one would care if I dropped ****ing dead.
#47054
Zaki said: ↑There is a lot of pain inside. I've been through a lot. At times, it really does feel like no one would care if I dropped ****ing dead.
It's quite depressing that ah can relate tae this statement anaw. :sad:
Graeme1988 said: ↑It's quite depressing that ah can relate tae this statement anaw. :sad:
(((hugs)))
#47056
RESTLESS, irritated, bored, tired, and annoyed at myself that all of those are negative feelings.
On the brigther side I have Monday off and I started my class assignment with plenty of time to get it done. Thing is I'm already procrastinating - I see my assignment sheet in my peripheral vision as I'm typing this. And it won't let me off the hook 😛
On the brigther side I have Monday off and I started my class assignment with plenty of time to get it done. Thing is I'm already procrastinating - I see my assignment sheet in my peripheral vision as I'm typing this. And it won't let me off the hook 😛
:'( but at least i'm not as depressive as i've been in the past.
#47058
Feel better everyone ! xo
#47059
I'm hurting so much inside.
I was fine all week, this morning too. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere it feels like my heart is being crushed from within. The black vortex has opened up beneath my heart again, sucking any happiness from it. All that it leaves is blackened despair.
Thank god its raining, I've been sitting on the front porch watching the rain fall through the night sky. It's the only thing that gives any sort of comfort.
I was fine all week, this morning too. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere it feels like my heart is being crushed from within. The black vortex has opened up beneath my heart again, sucking any happiness from it. All that it leaves is blackened despair.
Thank god its raining, I've been sitting on the front porch watching the rain fall through the night sky. It's the only thing that gives any sort of comfort.
Blank
.....